The best thing about not being a self proclaimed “guru” is that I can tell you things about myself without feeling like I’ll lose sales… or that you’ll lose respect for me…
… or whatever.
And in saying that, I’m gonna put something out there that I still need to work on.
I do it all the time.
I wonder why I do it.
And I think I have the answer.
So, what’s my problem you may ask?
APPROVAL SEEKING
Man, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ll make a comment that I don’t need to in order to try to BOOST my worth in another person’s eyes.
I do it MUCH more than you’d think.
I mean, just the other day I made a comment to a guy about how I finished in a certain place in a “contest”… without even trying (to which I thought to myself after I said it, “Damn, that sounded like a douchebag ploy to me… what was I thinking?”)
But, and I could be wrong, but I think that I know why I do it… and maybe you can relate… and it will help you out as well.
Let’s see:
I’m IMPATIENT at times.
And I’m COMPETITIVE as hell.
When you meet a new contact or woman… or whatever… a part of you WANTS the other person to KNOW about your successes, and how you kick ass, etc…
… especially when it’s a “cold” meetup (where the person doesn’t know anything about you).
I mean, let’s face it… we’ve ALL been in situations where a person will treat you a certain way UNTIL they find out that you are “that guy”.
I can’t tell you how many conferences I’ve been to where I meet people, talk for a while, and then when they find out that I’m part of this Adonis Effect project… or the fact that I’ve got over 20,000 followers on Twitter…
… and their attitude COMPLETELY changes.
(which is probably all my fault anyway because I’m such an “underground” guy… and on second thought, did I just do it AGAIN above… TO YOU: LOL)
Hell, I’m not gonna lie. I even try to ENGINEER situations and conversations so that people find out about these things AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE because of the difference it makes.
So, now that I’m thinking about it… I’m wondering if what I have… and what you may have (if you’ve dealt with the same things)… isn’t really an APPROVAL SEEKING mechanism at all.
Maybe its just that we KNOW that we need to somehow get it out there… that we need to “frame” ourselves as quickly as possible, so that others take us seriously.
Think about it.
How many times have you met someone… only to find out later that the person you met was some UBER hot shot and you now wish you’d made a better impression, but you didn’t really try because you didn’t KNOW that the person was a big wig.
So you ALMOST treated the person as if they were wasting your time.
Hell, I’ve done it. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been in my own little world… and been so oblivious to the fact that this person in front of you could be the difference in an extra 100k this year.
Well, that’s my thoughts for today.
Is it approval seeking behavior?
Or is it “translation of value” so that you are treated with more respect?
I’m thinking the latter.
Out.
