Attention all intelligent men, there is a crisis at hand – beautiful eligible women are being swept away by beasts masquerading as real men. Women are often attracted to “bad boys” because they are aggressively pursued by them.

What women want is to be wooed and wowed by men. Unfortunately, too many women are falling prey to these “thug loves” – they usually end up emotionally and sometimes even physically abused.

These so-called “bad boys” are winning women over simply because they are assertive, confident, cocky, and competitive. In of itself these are not all bad traits, but mixed with the definition of a bad boy: selfish, dishonest, arrogant, abusive, irresponsible…

The bad boy image is not something that men should strive to achieve. Once you’re labeled as a bad boy, it’s a hard persona to shake.

Basically, everyone is walking around like an advertisement for who she or he is. First impressions are vitally important. If all someone sees is cocky and arrogant – than boom that’s your brand.

A woman I met recently at a cocktail party leaned into me, eyed me coyly, and uttered in a somewhat slurred and raspy voice, “why is it I always fall for the bad boys.” She then proceeded to tell me about an arrogant garish man she met at a cafe in London. “I was sitting alone enjoying my tea, when James and I met. He looked at me and I melted, he then said ‘what are you looking at you stuck-up American Bitch.’ That was it she said, in an even more slurred and vacant tone ‘I was in love.’”

For added effect, she feigned fainting.

I found this fascinating; if a guy said that to me I would perhaps be speechless, (it happens) I would certainly not be attracted to him – but rather disgusted. I have never felt any frisson of attraction with an overtly bad boy.

Her story rapidly deteriorated. They ended up dating for 6 months, he treated her horrible and it finally ended when he hit her. Awful. So yes, some women will fall for and stay with bad boys. Obviously, these women lack sound judgment and have major self-esteem issues. Hopefully, not anyone’s ultimate goal in a date, even if you are only looking for a one night stand. Sure, you may score, but…

Most women do not want to be crudely manipulated by men. That’s not to say that all manipulation is bad – it just needs to be subtle and caressing like a masseur – not whipped into submission like a hunk of abalone…

Men are so much more alluring when they have a combination of confidence intertwined with that cocky/funny thing and frosted with a sort of sexy vulnerability. Women do not want to be with men who are known players. Being with a man who is a player does not satisfy our ego.

I like well-rounded men that have a bit of a twisted sense of humor, are inherently kind, interested and versed on political, psychological, and spiritual matters.

Oh yea, and a bit naughty…

You see, it’s all about the fine art of balance.

MORE COMMENTS:

Yeah, balance is definitely where a lot of guys go wrong. Unfortunately, the imbalance is rarely to the arrogant end of the spectrum. It’s way over on the wussy end. They mistakenly believe that if they can prove themselves as being “nice” to women, that they’ll just flock to his door.

And we know that’s not so…

The Bad Boy often is very attractive to two kinds of women:

1) The woman with low self-esteem. She doesn’t feel that she deserves better, so she’ll take this guy because he challenges her like no other man will.

2) The woman who needs a heavy dose of emotional turbulence to feel attracted to a man. She’s a thrill-junkie. She wants the roller coaster ride that he can provide.

A lot of women are, by nature, addicted to emotional intensity. It’s something that I would call a disorder, actually.

Think about it: Women love to shop. They call it “retail therapy.”

What is it really? It’s an excuse to give themselves a “happy injection” by picking up a nice new something from the store.

And then, after the buzz of getting something new has worn off, they find another reason to be unhappy about something else. The cycle starts again, from happy… to emotional disquiet… and back again.

I know a guy who would joke with women by dangling his bracelet in front their eyes like a hypnotist and say, “Loooook…. shiny! Pretty thing! Follow the shiny object! Good girl!”

The whole time he’s holding it in front of their faces, most of the girls would just laugh because they realize that he’s being funny, but he’s also right. Women LIKE flashy visual images. Pictures on glossy magazines… flashy commercials… Shiny jewelry. (Who says women aren’t visual? It’s just for different reasons than men.)

Bad Boys are like this, too. They give women a spike to the vein, a quick injection of excitement and turmoil that will feed their emotional engine for weeks. Many women outgrow this need, but a lot of women never will.

I would add to “C”s interpretation that “a bit naughty” is subjective. But naughty MUST be in the mix if you want to spark her excitement and attraction.

My comments

Properly channeled… an attraction magnet.

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For more on the Carlos Xuma and the Dating Black Book, check out the Dating Black Book category…

I’m not a fan of “manipulation” or “head games” in relationships or the whole singles scene. (For those of you who’ve read the e-book, I explain how using strategies can be thought of as manipulative, but it really isn’t.)

Oh, make sure to pick up this book… it’s a damn good read… with priceless material

One tactic that I think is important early in the meeting process with a woman is to ensure that you do not instill in her a sense of false security and stability.

Women are used to having the upper hand in all things having to do with relationships. I don’t believe they do this maliciously, but it is a power and control issue with all dating situations.

See my “It’s Okay To Be A Man” post for an example of how this mentality can sabotage you

I’m going to propose something very controversial, but I believe works out the best for everyone in the end:

Keep her off balance.

What I mean by this is that you do not want any woman feeling too secure or cocky about how you feel about her or the hold she’s got on you.

This goes back to a key principle of human behavior: The things you are most attracted to are the ones that you are not certain about. Uncertainty breeds an incredible gratitude for the times when you’re rewarded.

Training for the more intelligent animals (dolphins) is done by what is known as intermittent reinforcement. This means that once a behavior is trained, you will get more consistency by only rewarding an animal at irregular intervals – not every time. This has been proven time and time again in tests, and it’s just as true for men and women.

You’ve probably experienced this in your own life. Have you ever had a woman who was inconsistent – or hot-and-cold – with her sexual interest? You never knew if you were going to get some. When you did, you felt the reward, but the other times when you didn’t you were being trained because you were more likely to work for the POSSIBILITY of sex the next time. Perhaps work even harder.

If she wants a kiss, give her one, but not when she asks for it. Then, when she leans in for a kiss, you hold her off – nicely.

“Whoah, there. Are you trying to take advantage of me?”

You need to feed me more drinks for that… lol

Another way to keep her on her toes is to always be ready to say something controversial. Then, a few seconds later, appear to say something to contradict it. (Be sure to never change your opinion to match a woman’s. A far better tactic is to take an area where she agrees with you and change your mind on her.)

If you are talking to her, and she goes to the bathroom, disappear on her before she comes back, then walk over to her a few seconds later.

Inconsistency is the key to driving her desire up. Consistency only sends messages to her subconscious that you are a man she could RELY on, but that doesn’t make her LUST after you.

You can use an analogy of rides at an amusement park:

Consistency is the Ferris wheel. Ho hum. Boring. You go up, and around, and back down … and up….

Nothing fast. Nothing unknown. Just a tall view and look around the area.

Nice, but NO thrills.

Except when the bitch breaks, and you’re still up there

Inconsistency – Surprise, danger, thrills – are found on the ROLLERCOASTER. Get her in the front car and start her heart racing with the unknown.

Better yet, a rollercoaster that rides in complete darkness

You have to get her on the right ride if you want to get where you want to go.

Keep her off balance, so she doesn’t know what’s coming.

First of all, I think some ground rules are implicit in this article overall, which I’d like to cover with you again:

1) I’m going to tell you the Truth. And that’s whether or not you like it, or agree with it. The only thing that matters in the world of dating and seduction is GETTING RESULTS. (As long as no one is harmed in the process.) I’m not going to fill your heads with the lies that Hollywood and prime-time television perpetuate. If you want to live in the illusion that makes you feel good, but keeps you from getting success with women, go ahead. Have a blast being unsuccessful.

Sarcasm aside, I know you want more and want to know how to do better.

2) My replies are sometimes obnoxious, but so is the dating world. Get used to it. I’m having fun with you guys the way I expect you would with women. If you can’t take a little good natured ball-busting here, the singles world will eat you alive. Grow a thicker skin. I have made (and still make) all the same screw ups, and I only wish I’d had somebody to give me the straight shooting advice early on.

(Kinda like that intense Drill Instructor from “Full Metal Jacket,” only not so harsh.)

3) This newsletter and the topics I write about are for the early stages of dating. 0-90 days or so. There are some strategies that I believe are valid throughout your dating life, but most are especially applicable during the early part, where you are laying the groundwork for a POSSIBLE dating relationship. If you don’t establish respect during this time period, you never will. And then you’ll be sending me pitiful emails asking how to “put the spice back in our love life” and other queasy tales of suffering.

Save yourself the pain of therapy later on by never letting it get out of your control in the first place.

With that in mind, I got the following question:

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Question:
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Wouldn’t that attitude of keeping her off balance ruin a marriage and put a lot of distrust in it? After all it would be hindering her feelings of security.
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Well, first off, this is “Dating Dynamics,” not “Marriage Dynamics.” I’ve said countless times that you must use different strategies in the early days of dating than you do later on.

And, let’s keep in mind that I’m not talking about constantly undermining trust. I’m not talking about acting sneaky or deceitful.

I’m talking about introducing an element of UNPREDICTABILITY.

Life is very predictable, almost boring in its regularity and consistency. Women don’t thrive on the ordinary and usual – they enjoy the dramatic and thrilling. (Think: Soap operas, “The Bachelor,” any ‘reality’ TV show, etc.)

Think drama queens… even though every woman somehow seems to HATE drama… funny

Everybody does. Why do you think we get so excited to rubberneck at an accident? Or how we all gravitate to talk about the lurid crimes of passion in the news? We need this drama to inject some excitement in what is a VERY predictable existence.

We’re born. We go to school. We work. We pay taxes. We die.

Some of us pay taxes…

Day to day, you pretty much know what’s going to happen. We all wait for the possibility of the UNKNOWN. While there’s always the possibility that anything COULD happen, it rarely does. (*)

Let’s talk about security for a minute.

What is “security”?

Do human beings really thrive and grow in “security”? No. We want security as part of a relationship so that we can:

1) Feel protected
2) Feel able to open up and share more intimacy

These “security” requirements are only necessary in a long-term or exclusive relationship. And you can’t possibly get to that stage without a certain amount of excitement and energy that only UNpredictability gives you. You can’t get to this point without igniting the fuse of her PASSION.

PASSION and PREDICTABILITY are on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

If you try to make a woman feel too secure too fast, you ruin everything that she wants to feel when it comes to the excitement and unpredictability. When you give a woman too much “security” early on, what you’re telling her at a subconscious level is that there is nothing interesting or unpredictable about you. A woman needs to feel inspired to start feeling attraction for you.

It’s like the starter motor on a car. When you turn the key, this little motor spins your engine quickly in a short period of time so that it can get to the point of firing up the cylinders on its own and start cranking under the power of burning fuel and oxygen.

Without that initial burst of energy, the engine would never get going. The same thing applies to women.

One of the biggest illusions about women and dating (and sex) is that women need to feel secure with a man before she will date him or sleep with him.

NOT TRUE.

How many times have you seen women sleeping with the guys who were bad-boys?

How many women have you known who have had one-night-stands? (More than you think, and more than admit it.)

How many times have you seen a woman take in a deadbeat slacker without a job, who sleeps on her couch while she goes off to work? (It’s not an epidemic, but it does happen quite a bit.)

How many times have you heard a woman complain: “I just don’t know why I love him … he’s so unstable and wild … He’s unpredictable. He’s not the kind of guy I would marry…”

But he’s the kind of guy she would sleep with. Funny, huh?

“Sexy” and “Security” are almost never spoken in the same sentence. They evoke totally different feelings in a woman. You’ll never hear her say: “Wow! He’s so stable and reliable! I feel so secure and he totally TURNS me ON!”

NOT!

When she’s ready to settle down, she’ll do that with a man who is predictable and … well, a little boring in certain ways. When she’s ready to start a family, she wants that long-term security. That boredom is a signal to her primitive mind that this guy will be a provider and stick around. It’s in her genetic imprint.

It’s my firm belief that you can start a relationship off with a woman in one of two ways. Think of this as a fork in the road you come to when you meet a woman. There’s a sign and an arrow pointing down each path, and here’s what each sign says:

Path to the Right – “Start off by getting her excited and thrilled. You turn her on with humor and teasing. She gets frustrated at times, but always stimulated. You’re different than the other 50 guys who came on to her with no personality or challenge. Her attraction drive is engaged and she falls for you. You get to have sex, love, marriage — whatever you want.”

Path to the Left – “Start off by being a ‘nice guy.’ She sees you as another man who can’t excite her by being a vibrant personality – sexually charged – and instead she begins to see you as a ‘friend.’ All because you couldn’t get her excited enough to engage her attraction for you. You wind up wanting her romantically, and she ends up telling you she wants to ‘just be friends.’ You get neither sex nor the relationship.”Think about it again, guys. What do you want? The way it SHOULD BE, or the way it ACTUALLY IS?

Yeah, we all SHOULD BE getting laid all the time, by any woman we treat nicely and give flowers to, but it rarely happens that way. We SHOULD BE able to make a woman feel “secure” and she’ll just jump us in a heartbeat.

BUT … it doesn’t really work that way. So, while you weep and lament about that for a while, I think we should recognize that it’s okay to not give a woman all the security she wants up front when it ALWAYS works out better in the long run to give her what she really NEEDS and responds to.

We’re humans, with intelligent control of our emotions, but so few of us actually are ever able to get that control. Don’t fall under the illusion that we respond emotionally to logic and reason. We don’t respond to things because we SHOULD.

I may not have gone into much more detail on the strategy of keeping her a little off balance, but I think it was important to explain the reasons why, and so that we can start to get rid of that monkey on our backs, the one that tells us that if we don’t cater to a woman’s every whim and need (i.e., “security,” “romance.”)

In the early stages with a woman, SECURITY = BORING.

Security comes later.

Passion FIRST.

(* And for those of you who think I’m being gloomy about life being too predictable, that’s not my point. Ultimately, it is YOU who must make life interesting. YOU inject the action each day that will either make your life a great adventure … or nothing at all. Don’t wait for life to BE interesting. MAKE IT interesting.)

And on that note, remember… either you FORCE YOUR WILL on the world… or the world forces its will on you. Which will you choose. The power and the glory go to the man that isn’t ashamed of going after exactly what he wants

For more great information on keeping her off balance… and winning the war, check out Carlos Xuma’s Dating Black Book. With over 400 pages of “written smoke”, this manuscript is a MUST READ for all men… from the beginner… to the seasoned vet.

And don’t forget, reply to my email address (angeleyes.at.angeleyesdevilsmile.com) with a copy of your receipt… and I’ll send you the Dating Black Book mind map that I’ve created… my “Secret To Lasting Change”… and a copy of my special social proof report, “Explode Your Influence”…

Things shouldn’t be this easy

And, since I’m finding that this blog is being read by just as many woman as men (which still blows my mind)… I’m quite sure that this is going to hit home with quite an number of people.

Now, before I start, let me clarify something… THIS IS NOT MY AREA OF EXPERTISE.

This is just based on what I see… and I want to present another side to the story.

(Seriously, I thought of this while watching “Sling Blade” last night)

Let me start by saying this: If you are in an abusive relationship (physical, verbal, or emotional), then YOU are being a selfish person.

That’s a change isn’t it.

You know I really don’t feel sorry for the people in these types of relationships. Yeah, I know, you can say that “But you don’t understand”.

Kill it.

I like to compare it to drug abusers.

I feel MUCH, MUCH sorrier for the friends and families of these people. You know, the people that REALLY give a damn about you. The people that put THEIR NECKS on the line to try and help you out.

If you are in an abusive relationship, you’re friends and family WORRY about you. They try to help.

But they can’t.

You won’t let them.

I can think of plenty of examples where men and women are given an “out” by a friend of theirs… or maybe a family member. Perhaps they offer them a place to stay… perhaps they try to help out financially.

Here’s the deal… when a relationship gets to be abusive in any way… you can DIE from it.

Stress.

Or maybe the person gets jealous and goes off in a drunken rage and cuts you.

(Oh, and on the jealousy note… if you find that you’re sacrificing A LOT of your friend time to be with someone… you might want to check that.)

If you die due to someone abusing you… think of ALL of the friends and family that are going to MISS YOU.

Quit being selfish and get the hell out. RIGHT NOW.

Don’t think you can find anyone else. Right, a slug could find a better mate than that.

And, I don’t know about you… but worst come to worst… my hand never yells at me or beats me up (well, maybe not in so many words… lol)

I have to confess, this is the REAL reason that I’m writing this.

You see, if you’re in an abusive relationship… sooner or later… one of your friends or family members IS going to try and stand up for you. They may try to have a “talk” with this person. Maybe they’ll broach the situation in a more physical manor.

Best case scenario – you now have to CHOOSE between your family and friends… or this jack-leg that doesn’t know how to treat you.

Worst case scenario – someone gets hurt… badly.

So, I ask you this question.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, why do you stay?

Is it guilt?

Listen, who are you carrying that bag of bricks for anyway?

Because it FEELS awful when you have SOMEONE else jump in YOUR FIGHT because you’re TOO WEAK to make the right decision.

Remember, don’t be selfish… you aren’t the TRUE victim…

The people that love you are.

Comments, as always… are more than welcome.

Are you afraid to walk up to a beautiful woman and start a conversation with her because you’re afraid of being rejected?

Are you alone?

As we’ve discussed in prior engagements, the mind only truly reacts to either intense pleasure or intense pain. Feeling one of these two emotions will get you to make a change in your life instantly.

Think about it, are you in a “comfort zone”? Have you though about making some changes but life is too comfortable right now?

Are you one of those people that would rather look back and say, “I KNOW I could have done it… but I just didn’t…”?

I see this phenomenon in many instances but the most prevalent revolve around relationships and personal growth. How many people do you know that are in stale relationships but won’t move on because of the comfort level? How many have talked about new business ventures or making more money only to stave off because of the comfortable life they have at the moment.

Remember, growth only occurs when our mental boundaries expand. If something you haven’t done makes you a little uncomfortable (not scares the heck out of you), just think about the positive impact on life the new thing brings to you. Try to push yourself each day. Try to conquer, yes conquer, something new everyday.

The easiest way to accomplish this is through visualization (and that’s a whole other post in itself)

What are some of your personal hot buttons? What is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you?

Let’s suppose that being “a loser” is high on your totem pole of worst possible things. If you want to lose weight, just say to yourself when you need an extra push, “Only LOSERS are overweight. I am not a loser; therefore, I’ll go to the gym today.”

Or… “Only LOSERS are afraid of talking to women… I’m not a loser; therefore, I’m gonna go talk to her.”

Of course, this represents a generic example. Other examples could be instances where you’ve seen something very disturbing (like a ruined heart on TV). You can then use that to “influence” you. You obviously don’t want your heart to look like that, do you?

You can also use positive experiences to help.

Suppose you were in the best shape of your life in college and there was one particular spring break trip that you remember vividly. Let’s just say you had a “great time.” If you are looking to get back into that type of shape, just continually reflect on that particular time of your life whenever your motivation subsides.

Or… maybe you “got lucky” and hooked up with a beautiful woman ONCE before. If you want to get to a point of that happening more… just picture and reflect on that instance when you are afraid to talk to another beautiful woman.

(or just picture the time you had a one night stand with the ugliest person that you can think of, ha, ha)

These examples are completely fabricated but you can definitely understand where I’m coming from.

The “Comfort Zone” may be the worst place to be. Some may argue, in the case of personal growth, that rock bottom may be a better place. The pain that a person can feel when they are this low will push many people to go places they’ve never dreamed, simply because now they feel like they have NOTHING TO LOSE.

In order to break out of your “Comfort Zone” and see some meaningful changes, employ the pleasure-pain technique. If the pleasure or pain you associate with the situation is great enough – the results are only a thought away.

I’ve never met this guy… but I can say that this principle is true.

Now, he gives an example of his ignore/magnify polarity with explaining most reactions to flaking and how he disagrees with the typical “taught” response to a woman flaking out on you…

My response… I agree wholeheartedly.

Look, if you have to tell someone that it was a big deal… or OVERLY communicate the fact that it was a big deal… then you’ve subtly communicated that you’ve based your life… for that specific moment… on her.

Think about that for a second.

So… to me… this seems a little needy.

Check this out… if a girl truly flakes on you for no reason… why make a big deal out of it? Shit, why worry about giving her a hard time about it. You DO have other things lined up for that time slot… or other things that you could be doing… with other people/women, right?

Here’s the deal. In a nutshell, the more options you have… and the less you are worried about women flaking… the less that they’ll flake.

I also don’t try to get a woman to respect my time by saying things to her… or even by inferring it myself.

I just make sure that I live my life in such a way that she KNOWS… not thinks… but KNOWS that if she treats me in any way other than with respect… that I DO have other things that I CAN be doing… because she can SEE it with her own two eyes.

If you can truly live this way… then women won’t want to flake on you. If they need to reschedule… they’ll WANT to make it up to you in order to do so.

Going back to CJ’s post… he talks about ignoring that which doesn’t serve you… and magnifying that which helps you.

So, in this instance… let’s say a woman DOES flake on me… maybe she just doesn’t show up for coffee or something. Here’s what I would do.

I’d give her a quick call to make sure that she wasn’t in an accident or that something horrible hadn’t happened and leave a message stating that fact. I wouldn’t even mention the fact that she “owes” me or “I hope you have a good explanation”. Also, I’m assuming that I’m going to be leaving a message… because if she truly flakes… she’s probably not going to answer.

(If she does answer, she’ll prob apologize and try to reschedule with you… but, if she says something else… no big deal… you were just trying to meet a new “friend” )

I’d say something like, “Hey girl (use her name), I hope everything is okay and that nothing’s happened to you. Give me a call.”

No tyrade. No explanations. All HIGH ROAD.

Blowing up on her at this point isn’t going to help me in the long run… so… I just move on with my day. I always make sure I’ve got a few other things to do, anyway.

The next time I see her, I may make a comment like “So, I see you ARE alive.” And smile. (ignoring)

At this point, she’ll probably apologize with some lame excuse… because she more than likely hasn’t called you…

Me: “Hey, no big deal… if you want to try it again sometime… just give me a ring.” (wink)

Now, there’s no uncomfortable tension… only good tension because now she’s more than likely wondering WHY this is such a NON issue with me. She’s probably wondering if I even really liked her in the first place. If you noticed, I didn’t try to press her for anything at all.

I’m building more intrigue (magnifying)… which I obviously didn’t have enough of before because she flaked.

Remember, if you get upset about a woman flaking on you… its your fault that you put this person up on a pedistal before you even really knew her. Think about that for a second.

I’ll be perfectly honest… I can’t remember the last time someone flaked on me. Seriously. I’m not trying to be funny here. Sure, I’ve had people reschedule with me… but it’s been awhile since I’ve been flaked on.

The biggest difference between now and then:

Now, my image is swirled with importance, intrigue, and adventure… instead of like a common, open book.

I don’t tell them… but through social proof… women know that I have other things that I can be doing. Also, through social proof and through my mannerisms, they also know that they may not get a second shot with me because I have options.

Remember: These things… the importance, the intrigue, and the adventure aren’t openly talked about… they’re just… THERE.

Make these 3 things a part of your AURA… and notice the difference in how people treat you.

– from the Dating Black Book

Women are interesting creatures… I’ll give you that.

On the one hand… they want sex… and talk about sex… more than men do from what I’ve seen.

(Especially as they get older).

However, most women… but not all… have this “safety catch” called the Slut Complex that men have to overcome from time to time.

Is it a big deal?

Not at all.

I actually LIKE this fact.

But, for some people… its a weird catch-22…

Many guys like to THINK that they “worked” their way into a woman’s pants by being all smooth and everything… but… when one of their buddies comes up to tell them that THEY’VE been to the same place… things aren’t so kosher.

I have to admit though… overcoming the Slut Complex isn’t really as difficult as most would think… and there are many ways to do it.

If you’d made it this far, then you’ve read the portion from the Dating Black Book that I’ve included.

Look, EVERYONE wants to feel special… even guys. That’s why people get all huffy once they find out that a buddy has been with a girl.

So, in order to overcome the Slut Complex, you’ve got three things to do:

1. Amp up the desire and attraction. She has to want you more than her “safety catch” wants to stop her. Period. In order to do that, you have to be a worthwhile catch (see Buyers Remorse for more details). Be the “prize”… the trophy. Use teasing and push/pull to really dial it up.

2. Make her feel special. And no, I’m not talking about any foo-foo BS about “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” crap. No, what I am talking about is conducting yourself in such a way that MAKES her feel special. This is all non-verbal… and what you do. Take your time… don’t rush (unless she takes the lead and ravages you). Tease. Believe me, most women will think that “they’ve made a connection” with you when you go this direction and THAT CONNECTION often overwhelms the Slut Complex.

(As an aside, I don’t think that a “connection” is a random thing at all. I think that a guy can create this out of thin air… as long as HE’S interested enough. I truly feel that you CAN make a connection on just about any woman if you pay attention to her signs. It’s not fate.)

3. Be trustworthy. Don’t pull any skanky behavior or say things that you know are only going to bring the drama and buyer’s remorse later on. Personally, I never want anyone to EVER regret the time that they’ve spent with me. It hurts “referrals”

There you go… the 3 ways that I know of that can overcome the Slut Complex… and make the both of you happy.

Happy hunting.

For more great information on the Slut Complex, and how to overcome it, check out Carlos Xuma’s Dating Black Book. With over 400 pages of “written smoke”, this manuscript is a MUST READ for all men… from the beginner… to the seasoned vet.

And don’t forget, reply to my email address (angeleyes.at.angeleyesdevilsmile.com) with a copy of your receipt… and I’ll send you the Dating Black Book mind map that I’ve created… my “Secret To Lasting Change”… and a copy of my special social proof report, “Explode Your Influence”…

Take the road less traveled.

More on the Dating Black Book expose around 12pm EST tomorrow.

She’s now focused on you… and only you. Perhaps, you’ve separated her out from the crowd to a place you can talk.

(or maybe you’re at the bar doing shots )

Regardless, it is at this point that most guys lose out. You see, it’s easy to “fake-it-’til-you-make-it” up until this point. However, from this point forward… the “real game” begins.

Look, here’s the point that you “engage” her further… and I’m not talking about crap questions like “So, what do you like about your job?”

It’s time to dial up the attraction… the seduction now begins.

How?

Ask emotional questions, questions that make her “feel” something.

Okay, maybe I’ve went too far… let me regress. If you’ve read “Explode Your Influence“, then you’ll understand that no one will ever want to be around you UNLESS you make them feel important…

Of course, people generally don’t feel as important if NON-IMPORTANT people are around…

So, if you’ve already framed yourself as important… then all you have to do is make the other person feel good ON YOUR TERMS… and then… game on!

Back to questions… ask questions… ask questions that joke on her… ask questions that mean something…

Mix it up… control your tempo… give her an excuse to touch you…

But above all… LISTEN… AND OBSERVE.

Trust me, no one has probably really listened to the girl in a really long time… and it’ll draw her in closer.

Tip: Answer her questions with open ended questions of your own… be it funny, playful, or sensual questions

By the way, you’ll start to get a feel for the way the conversation is going.

In fact, here’s another great tip for you that no one does. Periodically, write down every possible question that you can ask a woman in different situations.

If you see an interesting question… write it down

Remember, “engaging” conversationalists make for great people to be around.

… and once she’s dialed in from the “conversation”… well, we’ll talk about that another time.

People love to procrastinate…

… even when we are talking about seduction and dating.

Of course, even though you master lots of “tricks” and techniques that may enable you to interact with women on a deeper level… using a “takeaway” can help spice things up.

Use this technique to help you:

• Get more phone numbers
• Secure more email addresses
• Grab more kisses
• “Seal the deal”
• Have her come over, when YOU WANT

In fact, creating urgency using a “takeaway” is one of the most useful and versatile techniques you can use… master it and you’ve made yourself a serious force to be reckoned with… in any endeavour…

Some people might consider this a variation of the “push-pull” technique that you may hear people talking about on seduction forums or in most seduction manuals.

Here’s an example with phone numbers:

After talking for a short time… and I mean short… just come out and say:

I need to run… and I’d like to continue this conversation over coffee on Monday or Tuesday… (then use any variation of getting her number… I like getting her phone and calling myself)

If you are even halfway interesting… she’ll give it to you… and… if you’re smart, you’ll go ahead and secure a time and place RIGHT THEN. (Don’t EVER call to set up a first date… only call to CONFIRM plans)

Here’s one you can use to escalate to a “heavier” physical state…

Once you’ve pushed at a few emotional buttons and have started kissing… just try to leave. Have a creative reason that isn’t too important (For example, don’t say that you have court) and she’ll bring you back in… and now she’s CHASING YOU, ha, ha.

I like going out of town a lot… travel is lots of fun… and it also creates a great sense of urgency as well. If you’re in town… tell someone that you’d like to get together before you leave… if you’re out of town… tell someone that you’d like to get together before you leave…

If you’re leaving, there is a natural sense of urgency to “speed” things up.

Try to think of other ways to use urgency in your love life. After all, you see it everywhere…

It’s funny what you figure out… but don’t really put a finger on when you do. This is one of the things I figured out pretty early on…

Look, a person has to wonder why you are calling them all of the time… why you are always trying to be with them.

Do you have anything better to do?

If not, it’s psycho city, my friend.

I have to confess, most people understand that almost all relationships end at some point. So, if this is the case, people also want to know that if it DOES end… that you aren’t going to go crazy on them.

Weird, huh? You haven’t even gotten started and they are already thinking of the end.

Uh… not really, ha, ha.

They only start thinking of the end when you start smothering them… then these thoughts start to come into play.

Remember, self control is an extremely sexy quality… don’t EVER let that go… EVER!

Okay, so we’ve discussed the BAD reasons for being on top of someone… let’s talk about the GOOD reasons on why you shouldn’t smother people.

Numero Uno — When people don’t see you for a while… your mystery and intrigue grow to that person. Curiosity is a GOOD thing. Your value grows. People don’t take you for granted. Remember, when people see you all of the time … you become COMMON.

Numero Two — People’s imaginations are CRAZY. If they like you… or you do some of the things I’ll talk about on this blog to increase attraction… they’ll start to wonder WHY you aren’t calling… if you’re seeing someone else… do you like them… etc… Of course, coupling this fact with “When To Shut Your Mouth” brings a very satisfactory result. You WANT people thinking about you as much as possible. This increases sexual tension.

Numero Three — People respect you and your TIME more. You’ll see less flaky behavior because, quite frankly, these people know that this might be the only time this week… or ever for that matter… that you’ll be able to hang out. Not only that, but the sense of urgency is increased and it becomes much easier to escalate to the physical once you have a person thinking that there is a huge possibility that they might not see you for a week or more.

You know, I didn’t think of this earlier but now I’m glad I did… I am going to write a totally separate post on “Sense Of Urgency” tomorrow… or maybe today.

It’s kind of a variation of the “push-pull”… but a little different.

Plus, I definitely need to get into the “aloof-healthy tension-psycho” diagram too at some point… don’t let me forget.

The basis behind this whole scenario is: make her think about you… if she’s not thinking about YOU… she’s probably thinking about someone else.

Get in her head… create some emotional responses… and start some FIRE.

A man said to a Dervish: “Why do I not see you more often?” The Dervish replied, “Because the words ‘Why have you not been to see me?’ are sweeter to my ear than the words ‘Why have you come again?’”

-Mulla Jami, quoted in Idries Shah’s Caravan of Dreams, 1968

And if you don’t think that’s enough…

After advising constant feints at withdrawal from one’s lover, Ninon de Lenclos wrote:

“Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion”

-from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

Oh, and by the way, I know my Spanish sucks… lol