… and you didn’t disappoint.

We got some great questions in and Race dropped a few golden nuggets as well… apparently the guy just can’t help but give it all away… almost.

When you listen in, you’re going to discover:

- Race’s #1 frame of mind that he uses with ALL women, before he even says hello

- What to do when you get the dreaded “Who IS This” text

- How to transition from “text” to “sex” – without seeming like a dirtbag (and she’ll LOVE YOU for this one)

- Reconnection strategies for the one you let “get away”

There are a lot of tips and techniques in this interview. I was impressed to say the least.

And, even if this isn’t your cup of tea, you should listen in ANYWAY. There are some great overall tips as well, from approaching women to getting phone numbers in a fun, relaxed, never-fails way.

Interested?

I thought so… just hit play and let the fun times roll!

Stay cool,

Brad

p.s. I just finished reviewing Race’s B4 U TXT HER system and it’s money… so buy with confidence.

There are a LOT of people waiting for life to spontaneously happen for them.

It’s like no one wants to take a bit of a risk and LEAD.

A good example is the fact that Pilon and I were hanging at the pool, talking to everyone and really just galvanizing everyone into a really big group. (Which sounds about normal to me). But, even though it’s Vegas, you could see that both guys and girls really needed to be lead into having a REALLY good time.

I mean, we couldn’t really give people permission to have fun… you know?

So lets have some fun as I wake this blog back up.

Tell me what your biggest sticking points are and let me know how I can help you out. I’ve got 2 new reports coming out for you and I really want to get this nailed for you. Also, I need to know who you want on the new podcast as well. Naturally, I’ve got my favorites and I’m interviewing Bill Preston of The Vibe this week…

Let me know what you need and I’ll hook you up.

Brad

One of the things that gets under my skin is when people (gurus, teachers, whatever) try to tell you what to do about your situation…

… WHEN THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOUR GOALS ARE!

I mean, I hear it ALL the time in business… on how you’re supposed to do certain things to get a certain result… or how you should never use certain tactics… blah, blah, blah.

Or how you should only focus on “targeted leads”.

(Which is bullshit in my opinion…)

You see, if a person doesn’t know what your endgame is… how can they 1) Judge you and your methods and 2) HELP YOU

The answer, they can’t.

For example:

For the guys that tell you that you need to only focus on the women that are most likely to have sex with you… they are ASSUMING that sex is all you want. That’s your endgame.

But what if you want a cool ass girlfriend that your friends like… and your moms (ha… moms) will get along with.

Well, chances are… they aren’t the same person.

And really, if you want a targeted lead on some ass… 1-800-HOOKER1 is about as targeted as you can get, right?

Exactly.

Quite frankly… my strategies in general are all about casting a WIDE NET to find cool people for you to hang out with.

That means both guys and girls.

Cool guys know cool women.

Cool women know cool women.

I mean, lets face it… most people find their girlfriends through other people they know. Like when a girl you work with brings another cool woman to a party… and you hit it off.

So, my strategies basically put this effect ON STEROIDS.

Everything I teach and talk about revolves around how you SET YOURSELF UP before you even open your mouth.

When a woman sees you being friendly and easy going in a bar with other people… don’t you think she’ll be more inclined to chat you up with no force fields or whatever in place.

Of course.

Besides… why waste your whole night firing off on women left and right when you can meet all sorts of cool people that can help make you money, get you new jobs, introduce you to key players, and DO ALL THE WORK FOR YOU by introducing you to cool women.

THAT… my friend… is how you cultivate STATUS among your peers.

THAT… my friend… is the greatest aphrodisiac you can ever get your hands on.

Status simply makes everything easier… PERIOD.

And I know I’m gonna piss some people off by saying this… but if you disagree with me on this… then I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU HAVE NO STATUS!

Actually… I was just hanging out with Brent Smith in LA the other day when we got talking about this very thing.

I made the comment… or actually posed the question:

“How can we explain whats going on here… how we roll? I mean, how can I put this into WORDS that other guys can understand… because quite frankly… I’m thinking that until you’ve experienced it first hand… you’ll NEVER REALLY know how powerful it is (social status, social proof, owning a room, etc).”

And his reply:

“Yeah… you’re right. No one will ever understand… MUCH LESS BELIEVE YOU… until you show them, or they experience it, first hand…”

So before we go any farther… I just wanted to clear that up.

My strategies are in essence about dramatically improving your STATUS in any given situation… both in the short term (that night) and in the long term (networking).

(and that includes Adonis)

Because in all honesty…

… going this route is MUCH, MUCH easier than the path you might be on.

Chat later.

Approaching women and groups of people in general is EASY… as long as you have the right mentality.

In fact, over the last month… I haven’t been rejected… or blown off… told to go to hell…

… not ONCE.

In fact, you likely won’t believe how easy this is.

You ready?

Here’s the secret:

LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR THE ENCOUNTER

Sounds easy, right?

It is… and it works like gangbusters.

Lately, I’ve really found that if you’re just out meeting cool people, you put A LOT less pressure on yourself.

(This is kinda like “Source of Fun“… but more laid back)

It’s like people (and women) have these little psychic tentacles that can SENSE when you’re out trying to SCORE…

… even if you SUCK AT IT!

BUT, if you can relax and just meet people to meet people, several things start to happen.

1. You put less pressure on yourself to try to get the girl. This is a HUGE KEY because it allows you to relax and pay attention to what’s going on right now. After all, would you have a problem walking up to a woman and asking for the TIME?

Of course you wouldn’t.

You likely wouldn’t even fumble it. In your head, you KNOW she’s not going to tell you to screw off (unless she can sense you’re trying to get in her pants… lol)

Why?

Because it’s NOT A BIG DEAL. You just want to know the time.

2. You put LESS PRESSURE ON HER to make a decision on how fast she needs to prequalify you.

Look, women get hit on A LOT. Single women, married women… all of them.

But, I would venture to say that 99.1% of women would have NO ISSUE meeting a cool, new person… no matter their status. Remember, people are generally bored and like to have cool, low key conversations.

Plus, most guys BAIL when they find out a woman is married or has a boyfriend.

Not me.

I”ve done some of my BEST networking meeting a wife or girlfriend of someone… and that wife or girlfriend telling the guy that I’m a person he needs to meet.

I mean, why bail out or try to overly hit on a woman when she can introduce you to someone that could make you an extra 200k this year?

3. THIS IS THE KILLER ONE. It actually gives YOU a chance to see if she’s (or that group) the type of person that YOU’D like to hang out with.

Think about how this sounds:

You don’t even know her… and you want to sleep with her.

She could be psycho
She could have AIDS
She could be looking for a baby daddy (nothing wrong with that, unless it’s a deal breaker)
She could be a chain smoker
She could be a lesbian.

Look, this person could be COMPLETELY BAD NEWS FOR YOU and because you’ve already determined that you want to sleep with her… YOU’LL NEVER SEE ANY OF THESE BAD DEAL BREAKERS because of a little phenomenon called “diagnosis bias”

Diagnosis bias basically states that once you JUDGE someone… you subconsciously DISREGARD any and all objective data that contradicts the judgment you’ve made on someone. It’s a little like cognitive dissonance… and it REALLY messes with your head.

In fact, someone has to do something that really shakes your frame for you to change your decision about that person.

Research proven.

(Betcha didn’t know about that one. Hell, “diagnosis bias” is REASON ENOUGH not to dig deep too fast)

“So when do you start hitting on her then?” you may ask.

Easy, you use BAIT.

I’ll flesh out and continue all of this on Friday.

Out.

Let me give you a perspective of Valentine’s Day from a single woman (or taken woman with a shitty man).

You see, if a woman knows she’s not getting anything for V-Day (and I’m not just talking gifts), EVERYTHING about Valentine’s Day begins to get on her nerves.

Seeing men walking out of stores with flowers…

The V-D commercials on TV and radio…

All the Valentine’s SPAM she gets in her inbox…

It’s like a perpetual NEEDLE poking her over and over again, constantly reminding her that she POSSIBLY sucks.

(And in fact, the quarter of Nov-Feb is like the WORST time for anyone to be single… and I’m sure you know where I’m coming from)

Anyway, back on the ranch… we were talking V-D tactics.

Here’s a hint:

Cool, regular, NON sleazy guys can have a FIELD day with V-D!

There’s one caveat though… and you need to watch out for it.

BITTER ASS WOMEN

You’re gonna run into 2 opposite types of V-D women:

1. Women that are CRAVING attention (ie want the fairy tale) on V-D

2. Women that are angry and bitter. (ie Man-haters)

But here’s the funny part:

You would think that being overly flirting and over the top with your methodology would get you the women on Valentine’s…

… but in my experience, because women want the fairy tale, COUPLED with the fact that men are FIRING OFF on them even more (cause they are single too)…

… it becomes imperative that you remain cool, calm, and collected and be that NON BORING, fun dude that makes her smile.

And you wanna know something else?

Even the tough man haters will soften up for this type of man with consistency.

(and don’t tell anyone I told you this, but if you can be cool and fun enough for her to lower her guard… she’ll be like putty in your hands… no joke… and do NOT use this for “evil”)

Just remember to remind yourself that EVEN WITH V-D, you are the choser.

This is IMPORTANT.

YOU CHOOSE.

YOUR BOUNDARIES

YOUR WORLD

Read that again like 50 times…

I’m out!

Brad

p.s. Read this again and think of V-D as being STD… it’s funny as hell… HAHAHA!

.

If you feel like you’re one of these people, hopefully this will help to “wake you up”.

You see, all too many times, I find that people want change to happen instantaneously. People aren’t ready for “small” change. They want the big shebang.

Before I go any further, let me explain to you the practical application of a phenomenon called “geometric progression”…

Geometric Progression: A sequence, such as the numbers 1, 3, 9, 27, 81, in which each term is multiplied by the same factor in order to obtain the following term.

Okay, before you close your browser… let me tell you where I’m going with this.

Let say that you are working on bettering yourself and your “geometric progression” is a factor of 2 overall.

Therefore, we’ll say that month 1… you are twice as good as you were at the beginning of your journey… and that month 2… you’re twice as good as you are in month 1… or 4 times as good as you were at the beginning…

Are you following me here?

Good… now each change that you make will have a different geometric progression. Maybe these changes have you expanding your social circle by a factor of 2 each month… and increase your “closing ratio” by a factor of 3… which gives you an overall geometric factor of 6 for the month. (wow)

Which means you’re finding 6 times the amount of women that you’d consider anything with from the month before.

But we can dig EVEN deeper than THAT.

Let’s take your social circle:

Say you increase your “hub” contacts by a factor of 1.3 each month… which automatically scales your possible contacts by a factor of 1.4. Then, you also join a cool organization that also increases the number of people you know by 1.1 over the previous month. To make it really simple… let’s say you also strive meet everyone you can (non “hub” people)… when you can and through this… you increase the number of people that you know by a factor of 1.2…

Oh, and then you meet a “super hub”… or someone that’s pretty much famous where you are and you become acquaintances with them… for a social factor increase of another 1.5.

So, as a collective… you’ve increased your social factor from the previous month by 1.4+1.1+1.2+1.5 or a total factor of 3.2.

What this means is that you can expect to meet… all other things remaining the same… 3.2 TIMES the number of women that you’d consider SOMETHING with over the previous month. (because these are cumulative)

I have to confess… numbers like this aren’t hard at all to achieve at the beginning of your journey.

But that’s not all…

Let’s say that you change your wardrobe and look… which makes you 1.4 times more attractive… you workout more (1.1 times more attractive)… improve your banter and storytelling (1.2 times)… improve your comfort and rapport building (1.1 times)… for a total of 3.8 times more in attraction generation. (again, these are additive properties)

Then, let’s say you improve your closing “techniques” by a factor of just 1.1…

So, as a grand total:

At the end of month 1… you’ve managed to meet 3.2 times more QUALIFIED women through your social networks and on your own… you’ve managed to attract at factor of 3.8 times more of those women to you… and you managed to close those women at a rate of 1.1 times over the previous month…

Now, if we take each of these INDEPENDENT PROPERTIES and take the compound result… our previous LINEAR results take on exponential results!

Because now we MULTIPLY the factors together.

Follow me here:

If I’m meeting 3.2 times the women… and my attraction skills increase and I attract at a higher rate (3.8)… I’m now attracting roughly 12 times the number of QUALIFIED women that I was before…

Multiply in my new “closing” factor and we now have me getting intimate with 13.4 times the number of women than I did the month before.

Now I realize that people aren’t going to pull numbers like this all of the time because for most people… it’s impossible to keep this type of growth up forever… except when it comes to your social networks… that’s how you become a local celebrity

Anyway, I just wanted to show you why constant improvement in all areas leads to BIG TIME overall change… it’s the power of kaizen… or the effects of small, constant, neverending improvement…

I hope this gets you really excited about how quickly things can change in your life.

I’ll go over the “tipping point” next… if you wanna be famous… you’ll be back

Sometimes, people say “no” just to see how you’ll react… with the FULL intention of saying YES if you act congruent to what you portray.

(Naturally, this isn’t the ONLY reason people say “no”… but it IS one reason)

Picture this:

You’re the smooth talking confident man who’s just laid out a helluva fun time in front of a woman that you’ve just met and have great rapport with.

And then, she blurts out with the “I can’t, I barely know you” or “No way, I’m sure you do this with every woman you meet”.

So what do you do?

Well, if you start backpedaling… you’re def not keeping on the confident route, that’s for sure.

Here’s one thing I’ll suggest for you:

Never apologize or feel bad if someone says no.

Just rephrase and/or smile and make fun of the answer in a lighthearted way. (in a flip the script way of course)

Remember, many times people want to see how you react when you don’t get what you want.

It’s a character thing.

(As an example, if I want to know what a person’s character is like, I take them to dinner and watch how they interact with the wait staff to get a true measure of who the person is)

Put that in your back pocket and pull it out the next time someone “rebuffs” you… and by golly HAVE FUN WITH IT…

Out.

Anyway, enjoy this video on “The Compression Effect“… tell me how you’re gonna use this in life when you get a chance.

Here’s an intro into some of the new research that I’ve been doing on “first impression” psychology.

Notice the part about 11 minutes in where I talk about how EVERYONE thinks that they are great at reading people at first, how research shows that this IS NEVER the case, and how you can begin to take advantage of it.

This is only the beginning… more to follow tomorrow.

Covered:

Diagnosis Bias
Value Attribution
Halo Effect

Plus a touch on loss aversion…

Recording below…

When I want something, I go after it full force. I don’t b.s. around and wait for it to mysteriously manifest in front of me. I don’t WISH for things to happen. I make them happen.

I do fail, that’s part of the learning process. Did you know that Thomas Edison tried over 10,000 different combinations and ideas before coming up with the light bulb? Failures are only lessons to be learned. After all, we learned how to ride a bike by falling off of it a few times.

Is it the fault of our schools that most people are afraid of failing? Think about it, every test you took years ago, you were penalized when you had the wrong answer.

I don’t know about you, but if I missed something on a test, that’s when I really learned. Not from homework.

Isn’t failing just your way of figuring out what NOT TO DO.

Did you know that they say that most people are only one failure away from success?

Here’s a quick story for you. During the gold rush back in California, a couple of (amateur) men struck gold in a preliminary dig. After investing huge sums of money to try to dig up as much golds as possible, they found that the amount of gold available to them in their “find” wasn’t as much as they thought.

So, what did they do?

They packed up, of course. They were amateurs. Now, little did they know that the man that bought all of their equipment (for scrap metal) called a well known geologist in and after careful calculation, discovered that another vein of gold lay just 3 feet under where the other guys stopped.

(Which proves that paying for expert advice is ALWAYS a great way to go. Free advice is the most expensive advice you can get, especially in the dating industry)

Would you believe that this vein of gold would prove to be the one of the largest veins of gold found during the entire goal rush!

Three feet away.

Are You Half-Assing Your Life?

What are you leaving on the table?

Did you ever go on an Easter Egg hunt as a kid? What about a scavenger hunt? How about a hunt for birthday presents?

Do you remember when they told you that there were 23 eggs in the yard and everyone had to find them? Of course you do. Once they were all found, everyone would come back together to find out who had the most eggs… you know, to find out who won.

(What does all of this have to do with talking to women? No worries, I’ll tell you in a second).

I remember when I was a young kid, there was this BIG easter egg hunt in the mail in my hometown. Everyone in town came. All of my elementary school buddies were there.

But there was a huge buzz around this particular Easter Egg hunt. You see, 2 of the eggs were going to be “Golden Eggs” and they were supposed to have a 100 bill in each. I don’t know about you, but a hundred smackers to a little kid is like a million to me now.

It was a lot of money.

Once the game started, all hell broke loose. Kids were EVERYWHERE in the common area of the mall. It started on one end of the mall and worked it’s way to the other side as more and more eggs were found.

There was one shriek… and a short time later, another one followed (obviously, the “golden eggs” had been found)

Within two minutes, you should have seen all of the kids that started to file out of the mail after the second “golden egg” was found.

Ironically, after about half of the kids had made their way outside with their parents… there was another shriek from the other end of the mall.

Apparently, someone found another “golden egg”. The organizers had told everyone that there were only two “golden eggs”, when in fact, there were 10!

All of the sudden, the place was an absolute zoo once again because no one knew exactly how many “golden eggs” were in the mall. After all, if a third was found, there might be a fourth, or a fifth…

Soon enough, all ten eggs were found and the event coordinators told everyone that the “game” was officially over and that all 10 golden eggs had been found.

Would you believe that it took another 10 minutes after that to get all of the kids to quit looking for eggs? The discovery of the 3rd egg earlier (out of a supposed 2), made finding an 11th egg even more desirable.

But what about the kids that had already left? Do you know what happened to them?

Here’s the funny part: it wasn’t the kids that wanted to leave…

IT WAS THE PARENTS!

The parents were so disgusted with their kids not finding one of the two golden eggs, they actually left before the game was over.

THEY DIDN’T EVEN WANT THEIR KIDS TO FINISH THE GAME!

A game!

Such it is in the game of life. No one really knows how many golden eggs are really out there (although it seems that many successful people seem to find their fair share of them).

Is it luck? OR, is it the fact that successful people keep looking for golden eggs long after everyone else has went home…

The translation to becoming better with women is this:

Just because things have stalled in your progress doesn’t necessarily mean that nothing is happening. Keep fighting the good fight and push yourself beyond your current limits. Sooner or later.. you’ll breakthrough to your “golden eggs”. Don’t settle for mediocrity. It’s your life. Live it.

If you want to lose weight… lose weight.

If you want to get in shape… get in shape.

If you want to be rich… be rich.

Like the parents in the Easter Egg hunt, only you can take yourself out of the game.

Here’s a better option: Stay in the game, learn the game, study the game, and finally…

Master The Game!

Yes, you’ll hit roadblocks… yes, the unexpected will happen… yes, things will get hard…

But these things cannot dominate you unless you let them.

A great way to illustrate the path of a winner is this:

Picture yourself at the bottom of a hill with no place to go. Now, someone keeps rolling boulders at you from the top of the hill and the only way you get to survive is if you can somehow stop the joker from rolling the boulders down.

As you walk up the hill, you have to avoid boulders (just like life). Sometimes you have to side step (like a lateral move in a job or a workout change) , sometimes you have to take a step backward (maybe to hide, start a new program), but as long as you keep moving forward as a whole, you’ll eventually get to the top and conquer that rascal (your goal) that keeps throwing things down at you.

Oddly enough, the higher you get up the hill… the easier it seems to dodge the boulders (because you’ve learned how).

Always keep moving forward toward WHO YOU WANT TO BE. After all, only you can determine where you go…

Because, it’s the little steps that mean the most.

It’s about 11am yesterday when I get a call from the woman I’m dating. We talk for a bit about my bar night in the previous post and start laughing as I’m explaining to her what I found out about video games… and this guy going to jail.

Now, she knows that I’ve been diligently working my ass off as of lately and getting away from “work” would probably do me some good.

So she says:

“I wanna go go kart racing…”

It just so HAPPENS that there a spot not 10 minutes from my place… nice.

She tells me that she gets done at 3pm and we should go then, because no one else will be there and we can dick off all we want with no one bothering us.

Sounds like a money deal to me.

We get there… and she’s right. No lines. No other people.

The Promised Land.

Now, I’m not a big go kart driver by any means so its probably a good thing that I didn’t have anyone else around… lol.

Nevertheless, we decided on the “slick” track so that we could REALLY ass off. With no one else there, it’s pretty easy to do.

So I’m out there driving around… trying to do my best impression of “drifting”… you know what I’m talking about… when I basically do a donut and end up stuck on a wall.

Nice.

Then she freakin’ rams me on purpose. I vow revenge.

I get unstuck and hunt her down like “Rambo”… and put her into the wall.

Ha!

Anyway, do yourself a favor and date cool women. Even though she’s extremely attractive, she’s also very observant of me and understands a little of how I work… and that I tend to be a hellacious workaholic.

Don’t date just on looks alone.

Oh, so as I’m driving this thing around, I get to thinking about how my friend Eric took a 1100cc engine off of a crotch rocket and fitted it to a 4 wheeler. I then wondered how that would work out on a go kart…

… this is how… and I’m gonna build me one now…

==> Clue them in on what you’re thinking… or playfully thinking.

But, the kicker is this… I have a special way that I like doing it… and it’s a kinda fun, sneaky, and playful way to “let her in your mind”…

Watch.

Let’s say this is my text session:

Her: So how are you?

Me: Awesome. As usual.

Her: Are you planning on going out tonight?

Me: (I hope she’s not planning on getting me drunk)

Her: I am not!

So… did you see what I did?

If not, read it again…

.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay, so… the secret is to use parenthesis to denote a thought or an action.

Things like:

(note to self, keep away from this one)

(I think she wants me)

(I think I’m nervous now)

etc

The whole fun of it is to make it like she’s getting a peek into your mind… and you’re “flipping the script”… like you’re thinking that she’s chasing you.

This is VERY subtle communication at it’s best. And best of all, it’s playful FUN!

I also like using this when I want to denote an action that I’m taking like:

(sticks tongue out) ==> one of my favorites

(gives the finger)

So there you go.

Splatter these “thoughts” and “actions” into your text and IM game… and watch the results.

If you’re on myspace or facebook, it’s very similar to “SuperPoke”…

… you get the idea.

It’s funny, David Wygant and I were on a call the other day when we started laughing at all of the people online in forums and blogs screaming to the masses:

“I got 5 phone numbers last night!”

Perfect… congratulations… you’re the man…

You know, I’ve been there… and I’ve been that guy. There’s something that strokes the ego a bit when you get a woman’s phone number… even if you have no real intention of calling.

What?

That’s right… there are people out there right now that are gathering phone numbers just to satisfy their own “manhood”.

Of course, for many men… and even women… this isn’t a problem in the beginning when they are just learning to branch out and talk to people. In fact, getting phone numbers for people helps to raise confidence levels for many of the “socially inept”.

However, once you get past this introductory level… there’s no point in getting point numbers just to get phone numbers.

The whole “hey, give me your number and we’ll hang out sometime” is getting pretty lame.

Personally, I only get someone’s number if I have a definitive plan in mind. Most people use phone numbers as a “what if” scenario… like… “what if I’m bored, now I have someone to call”.

Not this guy. If I don’t really feel a reason to get to know someone better… I don’t ask.

Here are a few reason why you don’t want to be a “phone number junkie”:

1. If you get someone’s number and don’t call… and they see you out later sometime… now you are setting yourself up to HAVE to lie to the person if they ask why haven’t you called. Personally, I really dislike being in that situation. Plus, you’re gonna look like a dick either way… even if they don’t ask. Oh, and don’t forget that now… all of her friends know.

2. Many guys worry about women flaking… and from my experience… women flake at the beginning for one of two reasons: either she gives her number out habitually… or you haven’t built up enough intrigue. For myself, I tend to have a reason to ask for someone’s number like: “I have a free lunch hour tomorrow… how about meeting me for lunch, coffee, etc”

There’s a great reason that I like doing this… you can already find out right off the bat if she’s gonna flake. If she says, “oh I can’t do tomorrow” and doesn’t follow up with an alternative… she’s just not that interested. However, if she responds with “Oh, I can’t do tomorrow, but I can definitely do Wed… how about that?”… that’s a great sign.

You can “weed” the pretenders out right off the bat.

3. She might give you the dreaded “rejection hotline” number. I know many cities have it. It’s a phone number that people can give out in place of their own… that has a recording that basically states that you’ve been rejected and that the woman really didn’t want to give her number to you.

It’s true, I’ve heard it… and it’s funny as hell.

4. You only have a certain number of phone number slots in your cell phone… you might as well load it up with ones that YOU’RE GONNA USE.

I want to elaborate on something really quickly about number 2…

Some people may say that putting yourself out there and asking her if she’d like to meet you out to get to know each other further “put’s the ball in her court” and “gives your power away”…

I disagree.

You see, if you’ve done your job of building intrigue… this won’t set you back a bit and… quite frankly… I find that women respond much better to a direct plan… rather than a “we’ll hang out sometime”.

Plus, my time is valuable… and I communicate that in more than one way. So, I want to know if I’m going to be wasting my time on someone as fast as possible… whether through flakiness or indecisiveness…

Use the phone number as a stepping stone… as a means-to-an-end. Don’t use it as a “private victory”.

And I almost forgot… if you have a plan for the phone number right off the bat… you don’t have to worry about the mythical “3 day rule”…

You see… I hear you guys out there bitching and moaning about how most of the “guru” products out there are horribly overpriced… or are just repackaged info that everyone talks about… or has already been talked about by said guru.

And NO, I’m not “guru bashing” by any means.

Let’s face it… that hurts you… my valued reader (and future customer… wink, wink) more than anything.

So here’s the deal.

My buddy Jae Ellis from Ask Romeo and his team have just released their flagship product… Dating and Attraction 101.

Now… I know Jae… we talk at least once per week… and I can tell you that the guy is SOLID… and only has YOUR best interests at heart…

… which says a lot apparently.

Anyway, here are a few videos to give you an idea of what they’ve got going on… if they resonate with you, go pick up their program (as it’s in a launch phase and you don’t want to miss out on the bonuses)

No hype… just solid content. Judge for yourself.

For more information, go check out:

===> Dating and Attraction 101

(Oh, and as always, if you ever have a problem with a product that I recommend… it happens… although VERY RARELY, let me know and I’ll take care of you)

Just about everyone I know at some time or another makes this mistake.

But it’s not necessarily about being needy…

Think about something for a second.

In any “negotiation”, the one that needs it the most ALWAYS loses. They lose the ground that they stand on. That’s why it’s always important to mask your true needs when you are at the negotiating table many times.

Relationships are very similar… and so is the dating/pick up game.

If you “need” her, more than she “needs” you… you’ll lose her… and get run over in the process.

So what’s the answer:

Well, let’s try something from the other end of the spectrum…

“In the process of dehumanizing the opposite sex, I had also been dehumanizing myself.” also from “The Game”

Many guys… in an effort to overcome the “who needs who more” drama… simply try to become unemotional robots… doing things that make other people feel bad in order to prove their own self worth.

Crazy sexual escapades involving “Dude, guess what I did to this chick last night” start to become the topic of conversation. Phone number contests and “I banged 8 women” last month start rearing their heads.

Unfortunately, it starts to become empty fun… activities that only serve to inflate an ego that’s long since been busted. It’s hollow…

… and it doesn’t really fix the problem.

… the problem that most people don’t really feel worthy enough for true companionship with an amazing woman.

One of the things that I see talked about a lot within “the community” is the concentration on the “alpha male”.

It’s talked about SO much that people have been reverse engineering the mannerisms of “alpha males”, to encourage mimicry… and the learning of the alpha male way of life.

But… this too isn’t really the true answer.

Think about it.

I know plenty of “alpha males” that are horrible with women. They are leaders… the alpha dogs… but they still just don’t get it.

I digress.

Do you know why “naturals” are naturals?

It’s because early in life… they become extremely comfortable with WHO THEY ARE when they interact with the opposite sex. That comfortable nature breeds confidence. That confidence radiates… and “infects” people… drawing those people toward them.

I truly feel that everyone can be a “natural”.

You see… if you ever were out and about with me… you would “assume” that I was a natural… that I had been this way since youth.

And you’d be wrong.

I really didn’t start to become better until college… and then afterward as I started promoting health clubs. All of the interaction with different people ALLOWED me to become more and more comfortable with EXACTLY who I was.

It was like LIFE just snapped into place… and it’s hard for me to contemplate what it was like before… because it was like I was running around in life asleep… but now I’m fully AWAKE.

As my own desires and passions about life became more defined… “other” things began to change.

I became comfortable with MYSELF… and what I wanted out of life… and that clarity allows me to be the person I am today.

Can I “pull” any woman that I talk to?

No… nor do I want to. But that’s not to say that women don’t enjoy the interaction.

You see, I only want a woman around me that’s going to ENHANCE my life… not DESTROY it.

That’s extremely important to me

Remember: Start to be comfortable with your interests… your life… and what you want from it. Have your passions and don’t change them for anyone.

And then… and only then… will things truly change.

I have to admit, sometimes when I’m out, the scenery just isn’t appealing to me… I just don’t see anyone that I really want to talk to.

Yet, I met a guy named “Big Dog” earlier in the night… a friend of a friend… and he started talking about how he wanted to meet a few women.

Naturally, I started laughing and asked him who he had in mind.

He pointed to a table of women and said “They’ll do”.

I laughed a bit and went to the bathroom.

When I came back, he comes up to me and says, “Hey man, I want you to introduce me to that girl right there”… as he pointed to a girl at the table that he had jestured to before.

“No problem”

So, they were sitting at the table and I grabbed a seat directly behind her… angled myself halfway in her direction.

I gently pinched her in the arm… she turned around… I smiled… she smiled… and I said…

“I have someone that I want to introduce you to… this is ‘Big Dog’”

He was standing about 4 feet away… a little shocked at my directness… but I swear the guy didn’t miss a beat.

He started chatting the girl up with incredible energy and before I know it he doesn’t ask her… HE TELLS HER:

“Hey, you’re pretty cool… we’re gonna hang out soon… give me your number”

And she did… with no hestitation whatsoever.

Inside, I was laughing because I knew what was going on… but to actually see someone else do some of the same things that I do is pretty funny.

Hell, continuing on with the last post… I’ve always found that a woman is attracted to a man that knows what he wants… and isn’t afraid to put his nuts on the line to go get it.

Oh, and before you go talking like “Big Dog” must be a hot guy… that wouldn’t work for me…

… you’d be horribly mistaken for thinking that.

Not that he’s overly bad looking… but he’s no Tom Cruise either.

Also, if you noticed… I didn’t use any crap lines to open the girl up either. I was direct… and said that I had someone that I wanted to introduce her to…

Nothing fancy…

I’m sure ‘old “Big Dog” thought that I was going to try to “smooth” my way in to a conversation… thus the reason that he was so shocked.

My motto: Just get in the door.

I call it… “The Source Of Fun Method”

Now, in some cases, this takes a little money… but you know what… life isn’t always about never spending money.

Now, this works ESPECIALLY well in bars… in fact… the part that I’m getting ready to tell you REALLY only works in BARS… the shittier the better.

Here’s the background… or the fundamental behind what we are doing.

Think about this for a second:

Why do people go to bars?

What’s the PRIMARY reason that women go to bars?

Why do MEN go to bars?

If you could tap into the “DOMINANT RESIDENT EMOTION (DRE)” of every person that’s there, what would that emotion be?

(Notice, being about to tap into DRE is HUGE when it comes to building rapport… so learn to understand why people are doing what they are doing… and what’s the MOTIVATION behind it).

Well, most people have had a hard day’s (week’s) worth of work… school… or maybe they just want to get out.

Sure… some people MAY think that it would be fun to meet someone new… but all in all… it’s “goin’ out with the girls… or goin’ out with the fellas”

It’s catching up.

In other words, the primary reason that people go to bars is to HAVE FUN… PERIOD.

They also go to drink.

So the combinations of DRINK and HAVE FUN comes into play here.

My “Source Of Fun Method”

It’s pretty easy.

You just walk up to the bar… and you look to the nearest group (it doesn’t matter if it’s a mixed group or not) that are either sitting or chatting/standing near the bar and you say…

“Okay, let’s get this party ROLLIN’… who’s up for a shot?”

… and you by the group a shot.

And, since you’re buyin’, you can accuse and tease people if they get girlie shots… or just flat out refuse to buy them.

After words… give everyone high fives and say something like…

“That’s what I’m talkin’ bout… nobody gets bored on MY watch.”

I did this last Thursday… kinda by default… as I do this from time to time just because it’s fun.

Here’s what happened.

Bought the group beside me a round.

They bought me a round.

They introduced me to everyone they knew.

Shots begin “a flowing”

I point at girl across the bar (who looks terribly bored) and wave her over.

She fights it… but she takes shot… sucked in by the energy level of the new group… which is now about 20 people deep (pretty good since we were in a town that we knew NO ONE)…

I find out she’s a stripper… lol.

(Note: I have a woman… and I say this because I’m not one of those douchebag guys that needs validation from sleeping with other women when I have a girlfriend… that’s just in poor taste)

Now, the HUGE key here is that you’re buying shots to ELEVATE the party.

You’re not doing it to get ass (although that tends to happen).

Look, when you come at a bar environment like this… all of the sudden, that corner of the bar is your territory.

The bartenders look out for you
Guys start introducing you to people… no alpha male “contests”
Women introduce you to friends

You have now… in ONE FELL SWOOP… social proofed a large portion of the bar.

Sure, you bought your way into it… but for me… I’m all about having fun when I go out…

… and why beat around the bush when you can laser in on what the crowd wants… a fun, crazy time.

But the cool thing is… ESPECIALLY if you plan on frequenting that particular bar in the future…

PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER YOU!

I can’t TELL you how many times I’ve done this to SEED future free drinks and fun times.

After all, bartenders don’t give free drinks to people they don’t know… and theirs no better way to build up incredible social value in a bar setting than having the bartender swing you a free drink.

There are lots of other very cool psychological tactics that are in play here… especially the one that now says…

“…all of you are now having more fun BECAUSE OF ME”

So go for it… the next time you go somewhere… find out the DRE… and then ADAPT your Source Of Fun Method to it.

It doesn’t have to be buying shots… although that works well in bars.

Get the fun going… GIVE the fun away… and it comes back to you 10 fold.

That, I promise.

Pain… loneliness… guilt… unworthiness…

… these are some of the feelings that I had the last time I went through a breakup.

I think we all do.

So, I’m gonna switch gears a little bit today and talk about how to get your ex back.

I have to confess, I’ve made my mistakes in life and Lord knows I’ve put myself in some embarrassing situations in the past… done some things that I wished I hadn’t… said some things that weren’t too cool…

… basically, did things when pursuing an ex that made me FEEL WORSE about myself when they didn’t work out.

The sad thing:

I KNEW THAT THEY WEREN’T GOING TO WORK… but I did them anyway… because I was coming from a desperate and needy place that no man or woman should ever come from when dealing with an ex.

And you can judge me if you want… but I’ve learned some very powerful lessons from these experiences… and I’ve YET to make these mistakes again.

I’m about to give you a roadmap… a checklist of things to do to get your ex back (or figure out that it’s not even worth it).

(As an aside, I just picked up a masterful piece of work called “The Magic Of Making Up” the other day that goes into this process with a fine tooth comb. What I’m going over is just the tip of the iceberg… stuff from my own experiences. If you’re in this position right now, picking this book up will be like getting a new lease on life. Dead serious.)

Let’s face it. Sometimes we break up over petty things.

Sometimes they are a little more serious.

Regardless of the situations, we can generally boil it down to one thing per sex:

1. For men, the problems arise when they don’t feel “admired” by their woman
2. For women, the problems arise when they don’t feel “appreciated” by their man

These are the number one reasons that men and women leave… the root cause on average.

No matter if you cheated, or were cheated on… or whatever… the likely cause of your current distress revolved around one of these two symptoms.

Trust is generally a cop out.

If you set down and honestly think about it… you can see that it’s likely true in your scenario too.

So here we are… alone… distraught… possibly thinking of suicide… fighting off thoughts of that person being with someone else…

… and we want them back.

First things first.

Get out a calendar.

Go buy one if need be.

You need a 30 day “cooling off” period… you really do.

Trust me on this one.

So what you’re gonna do is take that calendar and circle a day 30 days from today… here is the day that you give yourself permission to contact your ex.

This calendar is important. Do not neglect it.

You see, by having this visual goal in front of you… you now have the power of marking off days… while building momentum and getting your ducks in a row… without falling through the cracks of neediness and desperation.

If history has taught me anything… it’s that people need this time to be able to objectively look at things… and to create mystique and curiosity in the other party… IT IS A MISTAKE TO UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THIS!

So what do you do during this time.

It’s simple.

We work on ourselves…

… but NOT for that other person… for US.

You see, for one thing, people that you’ve have been in a relationship with have a certain “pattern” that they’re used to when it comes to you.

Maybe it’s a pattern of being overweight…

… bad hair…

… no ambition…

… you get the picture

We have to break that pattern.

We have a pattern. See this person…bad feelings well up. There may be some good too. Overall though the balance has tipped to the negative. What we need to do is BREAK THE PATTERN.

There are literally dozens of ways to look, smell and even sound different. So that when we contact and meet our ex again he/she does not run the same pattern and “bad linked feelings” as when the relationship failed.

Read that quote again.

Done, okay.

Seriously, the confidence and self worth that arise from bettering yourself keeps you from getting the raw end of the deal when it comes to interacting with your ex later.

So work on yourself.

Oh… and on another note… STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL as much as possible during this time. Studies show that if you try to drink your problems away… you ACTUALLY seed the problems farther into your psyche… and make it much harder to recover.

Do you need a “life check”?

Think about this for a second…

This is the truth: You will not die without your ex. If he was your whole life, then you need to improve your life first. You can find plenty of perfectly good people if you put yourself out there.

I’m actually getting these quotes from “The Magic Of Making Up“… but I would have told you the exact same thing.

You need to have your own life…

Making someone else the king/queen… your everything in life is not healthy… plus… they start to take you for granted.

Okay, now we’re in our 30 day “grace period” where we refrain from talking to the ex… but the FEELINGS of loneliness and despair keep rearing their ugly heads.

What do we do?

We’ll there’s a pretty cool technique that TW goes over in his book called the “Fast Forward Technique“…

I’ve seen it used in other situations and teachings and can say it works wonders.

This is a must learn for those that are having a really tough time of it.

(Are you marking your days off yet?)

I apologize… I just looked at the clock and I’ve got to cut this a little short because I’ve got a teleseminar to do… but let me tell you about some of the things that WORK when trying to get back your ex (post 30 days)

Curiosity and Intrigue
Time Distortion Techniques
Plausible Deniablity
Sleeping with her as soon as possible (men)
Not sleeping with him (women)
The Instant Reconciliation
Emotionally Elevated Experience Bonding
Instant Reconnect Techniques
The Clean Slate Method for apologizing (VERY POWERFUL)

Actually, let me talk about the “apology” for a second… there’s an interesting story that you should read:

An Eddie Bauer store that wrongly accused a black teenager, Alonzo Jackson, of shoplifting a shirt he had purchased the day before had to pony up $85 million in a lawsuit.

His dad said that an apology would have sufficed.

Eddie Bauer did make a weak public apology. But, they never apologized privately to Alonzo or his father.

Sometimes you have to put your ego in check and get vulnerable…

Other things of use to note:

The Monkey’s Fist
Mind Judo

I could go on and on and write a book on my experiences with this. I seriously could.

But I’ve found one that effectively summarizes what I went through… and what you’re likely going through…

… one that provides a roadmap to success in getting back with your ex…

… if it’s in the cards… or not…

… it WASN’T for me…

… and I’m much better because of it.

Will you be?

Or is your ex your soulmate… but the stars and planets just haven’t been aligned.

Go pick up The Magic Of Making Up” and find out.

No matter the outcome… if you follow the plan thats provided… IF… then it’s money well spent.

And you can take that to the bank.

I’m out.

Doo Doo.

Shit.

Crap.

Pound for pound, all of these words mean the exact same thing.

Excretement.

However, what FEELINGS do you get when you say each one of them. Don’t some sound worse than others.

Don’t some sound a little more “child like”?

You see, certain words have the high octane power to laser in on a particular emotion… if used correctly.

How about this?

I took my car to a place about 5 years ago because it needed a new alternator. Now, our “villain” (the car guy), did his routine and checked all of my fluids, pressures, etc during the replacement process of the alternator of my car.

I get a call early the next morning:

“Mr. Howard, did you know that your transmission fluid was CONTAMINATED?”

“What? What does that mean?”

“It means that there’s all sorts of GRIME and SLUDGE in there… do you want
us to change it out for you?”

“Uh… sure.”

Now, if our gentleman had called and said that he thought that my trans fluid
was dirty… or even OVERDuE… I probably would have let it slide.

(Cause you let things slide when money’s tight… lol)

But he didn’t.

He used “contaminated”.

And I have to confess, it put me in a whole different mindset… and he made out like a bandit in the process.

Here’s one that guys use…

“Let’s go on a date.”

or

“Let’s hang out.”

Potentially, they mean the exact same thing. However, one has a more low key feel and one has more pressure built in… like a decision has to be made at the end.

Here’s a quick rule of thumb, when given the choice between using two or more different words or phrases express something… use the one that lasers in on the particular FEELING that you want the other person to have.

It’s not about SIMPLIFYING or dumbing down your speech… although you don’t want to talk over people’s heads… because then no one wins and you look like a pompous bastard…

… no… it’s about communicating EFFICIENTLY and EFFECTIVELY… in order to illicit the response that you are looking for.

Oh, and as an extra… when you get the right words in place… you don’t have to worry about “SELLING” what you’re saying as much.

Think about it.

When the guy told me that my fluid was contaminated… I think that just about any tone would have gotten the point across, and in fact, if he had OVER SOLD the fact, instead of saying it in a “by the way” type tone, it might have LOST it’s effect.

So let’s play a game:

Let’s look at some words and phrases that you can substitute:

For blowjob, or dick suck, or lick my cock… you could call it a “mouth hug”…

Hell, women LOVE hugs… who wouldn’t give you a mouth hug. (credit: Ron White)

For kiss, or give me a kiss, or can I get a kiss…

How about “some affection” or “give me some affection there”

If you want to be playful about sex… or talking about sex:

Instead of “If you keep lickng my ear like that, I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you…”

… which might put you on the short end of the stick…

Say something like “If you keep licking my ear, we’re gonna be bumming monkeys in like… 30 seconds.”

If you want to express how fast a place filled up… instead of saying…

“Man, this place just got PACKED.”

You could say…

“Man, this place just went ZERO TO SIXTY in no time”

The difference here is that “0-to-60″ quickly tells a story (ie, it went from nothing to something very quickly) to which someone can relate to.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

In the next few days, I’ll flesh this out a little more and give you a few more phrases and words for you to try to substitute into your vocabulary to keep you from scraping the bottom of the barrel with women.

Once you can effectively hone in on the words and phrases that laser in on emotion, building rapport is like stealing candy from a baby.

If you aren’t networking and trying to improve your social prowess at just about every opportunity… you’re crazy.

Lately, I’ve been staying late in the office putting a few topics on video… you know… just getting a few things out so that I can add them both to the blog and to the subscriber area… which I SWEAR I’m gonna finish up one of these days.

Geez.

Anyway… hopefully I can get back to a daily routine and get more cool info out for you guys (and gals) over the next week or 2.

Who knows… come back tomorrow and I might surprise you.

I’m laughing at this because I actually thought of using this title as a headline for a product… lol.

Would it work, who knows?

However, judging by the way some guys view sex and dating… or the lack thereof… the sense of urgency that many portray may actually suggest that it just might happen.

Picture this.

You just got home from the bar with a pretty cool chick… she’s digging you… things look great.

Lots of kissing, fondling, etc…

… but she’s just not ready to let you jump her… not yet.

So what do most men do?

They try to TALK HER INTO IT.

“Baby, you KNOW how good it would feel” (of course she does, unless she’s a virgin, but we won’t go that route)

“Let’s play a game of ‘just the tip’” (hmmm, slick one there Don Juan)

Think about it this way for a second.

If you had another woman coming over in 2 hours to give you all the nookie you could handle, how would you react to a woman not wanting to have sex with you?

I’d bet you wouldn’t give a one damn.

Yet here lies the key.

She can FEEL it when you’re pushing… playfully nudging is fine… but trying to CONVINCE someone to have sex with you is like jumping feet first in a black hole… you AIN’T NEVER COMING BACK…

… or at least that night.

Look, most women (in my experience), aren’t trying to string you along like some sick game.

She’s THERE! Which means there’s SOME interest.

Think about it this way… if I hit you with a sales pitch for a product as SOON as you came to my site… what would you do?

What if I tried to talk you into it… what if I loaded it up with pressure… sense of urgency… etc?

How would you feel?

Wouldn’t you feel better about yourself if you actively CHOSE to buy, rather than being talked into it?

No, you’d rather feel comfortable with me… to know that I’m not gonna scam you (or give you the clap).

And so does she.

Now, that DOESN’T mean that you have to be the nice guy suck up.

In fact, that’s even worse.

Learn to tease and get her to chase.

Get her going… warm her up… give her something to be curious about…

Don’t push. Make it her idea.

And for GOD’S SAKE… when you DO get up to bat… hit the son-of-a-bitch out of the park!

Give her everything that you can.

When it’s all over here’s what you want her to be thinking:

“I don’t know if I should have done that… but HOLY SHIT it was WORTH IT!”

(Maybe I should rename this post… how to create a stalker… lol)

One more thing, as an aside.

If you’re making sure that a woman is getting everything she can possibly get out of her sexual encounter with you… and you do that for every woman that feasts her eyes on your naked body…

… trust me, you’ll never worry about a lack of sex again…

… because WORST case scenario, she’s gonna tell her friends… and if she’s not interested any more…

… THEY WILL BE

And you can take that to the bank.

If you ain’t a broke bastard… you should probably go put it up… lol…

—–

I got a membership to that DVD rental service where you get your selections mailed to you, and I’ve been watching a lot of movies, catching up on the classics. A lot of guy movies, like “The Dirty Dozen”, “Where Eagles Dare”, “The Majestic Seven”, and others.

I happened to put down “Far and Away” as a title, and it came up recently. Now, a lot of you are going to chuckle at that. A silly Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman romance.

But, you know, it was actually pretty watchable.

Not incredibly deep as far as a story goes, but it was nice to watch. Well-produced. And there was something I noticed about it that you ought to look at. Tom Cruise makes both the “chump” error and the “champ” corrections in the course of the movie.

Let’s review them:

At first, Tom tells Nicole when she asks him if she’s beautiful that “he’s never seen anything like her”, she basically says, “Good” and turns away from him. You can see the look in his eyes as he’s saying to himself, “What the hell happened? I told her she was beautiful, and she rolled over and went to sleep. Isn’t that what she wanted?”

Classic mistake when dealing with beautiful women. Never compliment their beauty before you’ve got them hooked. It has ZERO affect.

[Many of these women tend to be quite insecure as well... but if you acknowledge their source of power (beauty), you don't get to see that part of them]

Later, Tom is getting some booty attention from the women at the place where he fights, and from the whores that live in his boarding house. Nicole gets bratty and jealous, acting as if she’s pissed at him, but really she’s just wishing she could act on her attraction. This establishes Tom as desirable by other women, jacking up her attraction even further.

Later on, Tom gets in an argument with Nicole and he throws her in a tub full of water, putting her in her place. You can see the meek manner in which she realizes how she was acting like a bitch.

She’s the classical bratty beautiful woman, and Tom learns how to dominate her in the right way. All through the movie, in fact, she behaves in the classic mode of the spoiled beautiful woman who has had every man just fall at her feet.

Note how turned on she becomes when Tom fights – and especially when he fights for her.

Check this movie out sometime as part of your homework. You’ll find a bunch of classical behavior patterns in here to learn from.

Click Here For Carlos Xuma’s “Social Power Secrets” Program

Knowing how to approach women is a vital skill every man needs to know, because approaching women is the first step in creating a relationship with the girl of your dreams…

The way you approach a girl can make or break the rest of your pickup. Here are some tips for approaching women that will help ensure your success!

Remember a situation where you were going to approach a girl, and before you could even get a single word out, she freaked out and simply rejected you?

Know this – getting shot down has little to do with what you were going to say or what your intentions were. It’s all about how you go about actually approaching your target. It’s important to do this right the first time, because it’s hard to recover when you make a mistake right off the bat.

The most important thing to remember when approaching women is to come off as NON-THREATENING and to not, under any circumstances, telegraph your interest in them too early.

This is known as “coming in under the radar.”

Understand: Most women have trained themselves to just REJECT men outright when they sense they are being picked up on.

Most men don’t realize how annoying it can be for women to constantly be approached by guys who run the gamut from big time loser to big time creep. Because of this, women just don’t want to deal with yet “another pick-up attempt.”

Approaching women can be both easy AND fun when you know how to do it RIGHT.

So what’s the right way to approach a woman?

First – YOU MUST ACT FAST.

Waiting too long before you approach a woman will give you a chance to talk yourself out of meeting her. You need to overcome your fear and approach quickly when the opportunity presents itself.

Another tip – know what to say BEFORE you approach a woman! Meeting women becomes so much easier when you don’t have to waste time thinking of what to say to her to start a conversation.

So having a good pick-up line in your hip pocket to use in these situations is probably a good idea.

But I’m not talking about the “Hey, nice shoes, want to have sex?” type line. The point is to be NON-THREATENING, remember?

A good pick up line is something that will start an innocent conversation with the girl you’re approaching. Examples of a good line would be to ask her opinion on something and then continue the conversation by asking more questions about her opinion.

When approaching a woman, it’s important that you approach her from an ANGLE. Most guys charge towards the girl they want to meet like they’re marching to war! Coming in at an angle is much less confrontational and will put the girl at ease on a subconscious level.

The simple fact is – great pick-ups can only occur when the girl you are talking to feels comfortable with you! That’s why you need to feel comfortable talking to the girl.

It’s natural to feel uncomfortable meeting attractive women, but remember – practice makes perfect! If you take the time to go out and practice meeting women, over time it will become easier and you’ll be more comfortable with doing it.

The sad fact is, you’re not going to get good at approaching women if all you do is sit around reading about it and studying it like a test. If you want to get good and have success, you actually have to go out and DO IT so you can build your experience level. (The good news – it gets easier the more you do it!)

If you’re worried about being rejected, just look at it as a game. The ONLY thing you’re doing is approaching women. You’re not asking her out, you’re not trying to get her into bed, your only goal is to carry on some type of conversation.

That’s all!

See how many girls you can talk to in one night, and keep trying to beat your score.

One last note – try and use a “time constraint” whenever you approach a woman. This is as easy as saying you can only talk for a minute before you have to run.

You want to do this because if she feels this approach is just a “momentary” distraction, and you’re not trying to “impose” yourself on her, she’ll be more willing to engage you in your approach.

The beauty of this is that if the conversation picks up and is going well, she’ll forget that you used a time constraint, and you can actually talk to her as long as you want. Using a good time constraint is just a way to make the approach easier in the beginning.

In the world of dating, it all boils down to a numbers game. The more women you meet, the better your chances of finding your soul mate.

Get Joseph Matthew’s complimentary How To Meet Women newsletter and supercharge your success with women today. Nowhere else will you find better, more powerful methods on approaching women that are proven to work for any man.

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Hmmm… with all of the hub hub going around lately, does anyone think that this stuff still doesn’t apply?

Thoughts?

This article represents on of those times.

If you’ve been envious of other “gurus”, other men, or anyone at all for that matter…

… PHONE CHECK HOMIE!

Here goes…

“Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts.”

Jean Vanier

The Most Stupid of Vices
By Alexander Green

Economists Sara Solnick and David Hemenway recently conducted a survey where they asked participants if they would rather earn $50,000 a year while other people made $25,000, or earn $100,000 a year while others got $250,000.

Sit down for this one. The majority of participants selected the first option. They would rather make twice as much as others, even if that meant earning half as much as they could have with the second option.

This is completely nuts, of course. Yet other findings by Solnick and Hemenway confirmed the envious nature of contemporary culture. People said, for instance, that they would rather be average-looking in a community where no one is considered attractive than merely good-looking in the company of stunners.

When it came to education, parents said they would rather have an average child in a crowd of dunces than a smart child in a class full of brilliant students.

What is going on here? In his book The Mind of the Market, Scientific American columnist Michael Shermer writes, “Our sense of happiness tends to be based on positional and relative rankings compared to what others have.”

There’s one problem, however. That doesn’t work.

As the philosopher Bertrand Russell pointed out, “Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”

Of all the dissatisfactions we face, surely none is more menial than envy. It denies us contentment, is a waste of time, and is an insult to ourselves. Worst of all, it’s completely self-imposed.

“Envy is the most stupid of vices,” wrote Honore de Balzac, “for there is no single advantage to be gained from it.”

Face it. We all know people who are smarter, fitter, richer, funnier, more talented, or better looking. But so what?

Thinking this way only keeps you from appreciating your own uniqueness and self-worth, things that, not incidentally, do lead to greater happiness. Especially when combined with a strong sense of purpose.

As Shermer writes, “Feeling ennobled is a pleasurable emotion that arises out of this deepest sense of purpose. Although there are countless activities people engage in to satisfy this deep-seated need, the research shows that there are four means by which we can bootstrap ourselves toward happiness through purposeful action.” These include:

*Deep love and family commitment
*Meaningful work and career
*Social and political involvement
*Transcendency and spirituality

Note that psychologists have yet to discover a route to happiness by comparing oneself to others. (Although it never hurts to measure yourself against your own ideals.)

Concentrating on your own fortunes – and improving those of others – is guaranteed to generate more satisfaction than sizing up the Joneses. Besides, if you knew everything the other guy was dealing with, you might prefer your own circumstances anyway.

In other words, don’t begrudge the other guy his blessings. Count your own, instead. As Mark Twain said, “Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.”

[Ed. Note: Alexander Green is Chairman of Investment U and Investment Director of The Oxford Club. Although he still writes investment commentary for both publications, he now tackles some of life’s more difficult challenges in his free, twice-weekly e-letter Spiritual Wealth. Learn how to grapple with the big questions in your life by signing up here.]

For proven advice and hands-on guidance for accomplishing your goals, check out ETR’s Total Success Achievement program. Learn more here.]

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One thing to note: the grass always SEEMS greener on the other side… but more often than not, it’s not.

Just a litte nugget for your dome on a beautiful Friday in NC

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This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, the Internet’s most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

You see, I was asked the other day how I took the Adonis Effect and got it on the map so quickly.

Basically, how I took myself from a virtual no name in this arena to player.

Honestly the exact roadmap I used is in my little $7 report, Explode Your Influence. No joke. People love this thing. So you should pick it up. That info has done more for me than just about anything else… seriously.

Okay, so back to the story.

Anyway, I quickly explained that most people view the world as a “dog eat dog” place… which simply isn’t true.

Actually, I’d say its more of a “packs of dogs eat dog or other packs of dogs” world.

In other words, the groups of power players eat everyone elses lunch.

So, in other words again (sheesh), you need to get in with the “pack”.

The only way to do that… is to either create your own pack… or to bring value to another pack so that you can be included.

Here’s are my hard and fast rules for “pack building”:

1. Give first
2. Follow the “don’t mistake kindness for weakness mantra”: Be kind and fair, but be firm when people try to cross the line.
3. Be the screwee rather than the screwer (karma man)
4. Always look out for your “pack” (or your people) whenever you can. Basically, if you see something that can help them or that may hurt them… let them know.

Remember this, and it’s the toughest lesson I’ve ever learned:

Going at it alone is always the worst way. You have no leverage of knowledge, finances, power, networking, etc.

In short… always be building your “pack”… lest you be eaten in the doggy dog world

I’m serious. If you’ve been buying into the “think positive” and you’ll succeed bit… but you haven’t seen any results, you’ll definitely appreciate this.

This is yet another reason why I never include any “positive thinking” stuff in anything that I write, including the Adonis Effect. Between this article and “Stockdale’s Paradox“… I just don’t believe it anymore.

There are better ways… as illustrated below.

— start —

Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work
by Michael Masterson
www.earlytorise.com

One of the great fallacies in the self-help industry is the notion that you can change your life with “positive thinking.”

The purveyors of positivism, starting with Napoleon Hill and including the people who now promote The Secret, contend that we all have, at our conscious disposal, the means to transform ourselves into walking, breathing success machines.

Some self-help gurus sell positive thinking because they know it is one of the most lucrative products to put in the marketplace. Change one thought and you can change your life! What better promise can you make to an underachieving, wanna-be-rich-and-successful couch potato?

And purely from a profit point of view, they are right. Positive thinking products making quick-and-easy promises account for more than a billion dollars a year in direct-mail and Internet sales. And that’s just for the companies I personally know. The total number is probably multiples of that.

I am not saying all proponents of positive thinking are hucksters. Many are honest men and women who believe in the concept because they use it successfully in their own lives. They are usually people who have always been accomplished, excelling in sports or academics or business almost from the start. Their repeated successes gave them confidence that they can do just about anything. And they readily tap into that underlying feeling of confidence whenever they face a new challenge. In their hearts, they know they can succeed. So when they take on anything new, they can’t help but believe they will be successful.

But what about the rest of the world? The 80 percent of the population that got C’s in school and sat on the bench during ball games and had little or no success in business? What messages are buried in their hearts?

Well, the positive thinkers will tell you that is exactly the point. The people who struggle on without success are failing because they don’t really think they can succeed. If only they could change their thinking, they would do better.

And so the therapy for these self-doubters is positive thinking. Stand in front of the mirror in the morning and repeat 20 times: “I am a good person. I can do anything. I will be successful.”

It’s very appealing. Two or three minutes of talking to your mirrored image, and a mental switch will be turned. Everything after that will come to you effortlessly.

The reality is different.

A study mentioned by Julie Norem in her book The Positive Power of Negative Thinking confirms my belief that though positive thinking may work for people who already have an optimistic way of looking at their abilities, it doesn’t work for people who are pessimists.

Researchers divided their subjects (all identified as pessimists) into two groups. They told one group that, based on their past performance, they were going to do well on a standardized test they were about to be given. And these subjects indicated on a pre-test survey that they did, indeed, feel optimistic about their results. The second group was not given any encouragement. The results? The first group, the temporarily optimistic pessimists, actually performed worse on the test.

I’ve been critical of the idea of positive thinking for years, because I think it is useless to the people who most need help in changing their lives: people who have deeply held negative feelings about what they can accomplish.

Positive thinking works only for those who are emotionally positive. Usually, these are people who have a history of being successful. People who have been good wrestlers, for example, find it easy to believe they will win their next wrestling match. Entrepreneurs like yours truly find it easy to believe their next business venture will be successful.

When you are emotionally positive, you can’t help but think positively about everything.

So thinking positively helps. But it only helps the 20 percent of the population that is already emotionally positive. The rest of the population, the 80 percent of the world that is emotionally negative, cannot be helped by positive thinking.

I knew this was true, though I didn’t know exactly why. When I wrote about it in the past, many ETR readers objected. When I spoke about it at conferences, attendees complained to me afterward. They seemed angry. As if I was trying to take something precious away from them.

They believed I was trying to deny their best chance of succeeding. Meanwhile, what I was really trying to do was get them to stop conning themselves and take the specific actions that would help them achieve their goals.

As the years passed, I would meet some of these same people at other conferences. They were still attending self-improvement seminars, still carrying positive-thinking books, and still upset with me for telling them that positive thinking wouldn’t change their fortunes. It had, after all, worked for the people promoting all those seminars and books.

Year after year. Decade after decade. They stayed poor. They stayed stuck. But they wouldn’t give up their dream of changing their lives quickly and easily by changing their thinking.

I was never able to articulate why it was that I knew positive thinking would never work for these people. But then I read a book that helped me understand: A General Theory of Love. It was written by three eminent psychotherapists and neuroscientists. I have posted my notes on this book on my website (which I recommend you read), but let me tell you very briefly what it taught me that sheds light on this issue.

Essentially, our emotions are deeply rooted in the way our minds are wired. There is a scientific basis for many of our emotional responses and how we relate to others. At the same time, our interactions with the world and people around us have a profound impact on our attitude. This interaction, which can actually alter neural pathways in the brain, begins in infancy and influences our development.

So if you grew up with negative feelings about your ability to achieve success, that’s the way your brain is wired. And no amount of positive thinking will change it.

Here is what the authors of A General Theory of Love have to say about the self-help industry:

“A vigorous self-help movement has championed the hoax that a strong-willed person, outfitted with the proper directions, can select good relationships. Those seduced into the promise of a quick fix gobble it up. But the physiology of emotional life cannot be dispelled with a few words…

“… Self-help books are like car repair manuals: You can read them all day, but doing so doesn’t fix a thing.”

To change yourself from being emotionally negative to emotionally positive, you have to get some solid successes under your belt. And that’s where another success technique – visualization – comes in. But this one works. Visualization is a proven and useful technique for achieving peak performance.

It’s no secret that many of the most successful people in the world – including entertainers, athletes, and CEOs – used visualization to help them achieve their goals.

Take Tiger Woods…

“Visualization has become a major part of my shot-making, especially as it pertains to shaping shots. … It makes a huge difference in your performance.”

And Jack Nicklaus, one of the greatest golfers to ever grace the game, said, “I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head. It’s like a color movie.”

Famed sports psychologist Bob Rotella charges thousands of dollars per session to help pro athletes and business executives achieve success through visualization. In addition to coaching pro PGA golfers and top athletes in the NBA and NFL, he coaches high-ranking executives at Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, General Electric, Coca-Cola, and many other companies.

Matt Furey – world-class martial artist and top Internet marketer – credits visualization for his success. Matt’s wrestling coach told the scrawny, uncoordinated high school teen he never had a chance. But by using the power of visualization, Matt gained the confidence to win match after match – and became a champion wrestler in high school and college.

Later, Matt became World Kung Fu Champion – thanks, again, to visualization and the very positive attitude that was now buried deep in his limbic brain (the part of the brain involved in emotional behavior).

As I said, people who are emotionally positive about their chances for success have a history of succeeding. They’re doers, not dreamers. So forget about positive thinking. Instead, start rewiring your brain by working toward the goal you want to achieve or practicing the skill you want to master.

At first, you won’t feel very good about what you’re doing, because you won’t be very good at it. But stick with it. Remember that it takes about a thousand hours to achieve competency in anything that’s worthwhile.

Start by setting very modest objectives. Use visualization to help you excel at specific tasks and overcome specific challenges. But don’t waste your time repeating useless mantras. Actions – only actions – will reprogram your limbic brain and turn you into a real “success machine.”

(This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, the Internet’s most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.)

Look, take it from me… I’m KING dreamer…

Nothing ever changes or gets done unless you take some sort of action. Action begets success, success begets confidence, confidence begets more action, etc.

YOU DON’T JUST ACQUIRE CONFIDENCE!

People that tell you to just BE CONFIDENT are giving you advice that you just can’t use.. period.

So take some action… visualize your goal.

If you want to be better with women, visualize how that looks, how you talk, look, and speak.

If you want a better body, visualize how you’re going to look, how you’re accomplishing it, and how you’ll feel afterward.

This is why programs like the Adonis Effect help. Because they take all of the “thinking” out of it and focus ALL of your efforts on the DOING…

… the implementation.

This stuff that really counts.

Okay, now I know that seems a little off base… but here’s the deal.

We ain’t saving the whales here, boys.

Stop making such a big deal about something so INSIGNIFICANT.

Going back to yesterday, you’ll remember that I said that approach anxiety stems from two things:

Anticipation of a “bad” or “worse” case scenario result.
A perceived status gap.

In other words, you don’t want to feel stupid.

But… think about it this way. Even if there IS a status gap, she’s not going to know unless you TELL her. And, even if there is a status gap and SHE KNOWS it… women have a knack of trying to raise the status of COOL people.

Ever have a female friend try to “hook” you up with someone… status raise.
Ever have a female friend try to CONSTRUCTIVELY help you out with your “look”… status raise.

Here is my worst case scenario that I personally think of everytime I meet a woman… no matter how hot.

At least if I see her around again, I’ll be able to say ‘hi’ and have a little conversation… which ups my social proof… increases my ‘net social worth’… and makes me feel good.

Is that so bad?

Hell no.

Truth is, if you relax and have a light but fun conversation women will RARELY… and I MEAN RARELY just blow you off.

Frankly, about 30% of women are just plain outgoing and flirty… and can really help you carry a conversation.

(These people are usually “hubs”… people that know people… and you SHOULD make it a point to get to know them regardless… as I explain in “Explode Your Influence“)

Also, you should know that most women really DO want to talk to someone in most situations… even IF they are with other guys.

I can tell you with 100% accuracy that women (of all ages) are out on the prowl… looking for cool guys to hang with. I’ve heard it time and time again.

They wonder where all the good guys are.

They SAY these things… and they mean them.

I just thought of something… a little story if you will that relates a bit. Women, I know you’re reading this… just remember that your friends are RUINING it for you.

Here’s why.

I remember a year or two back, I was hanging out with a buddy of mine that is no slouch when it comes to the ladies…

He’s got that “knack”.

Anyway, we’re sitting there in this little ‘block party’ type situation when he looks over to me and tells me about the group of five women that are beyond of shadow of a doubt… going to talk to us within 15 minutes…

His radar is pretty good… did I mention that?

Such enough, one of the women saunters over and begins a conversation. Now, she was cute… but not overly special (I know, that sounds superficial as hell, but it’s my story damnit) and my friend really didn’t want to talk to her.

She was inviting us to hang with them at another bar… and my friend politely declined the invite.

When she walked away… I told him… “You’re a dumbass”

“Why, she just wasn’t my type… and neither were her friends…”

“That’s not the point. Number one, it’s just me and you scratching our nuts right now and we had a cool opp to hang out with some people that we don’t know… 5 cute girls in fact… and you decline.

“Number two. All women have hot friends. Who’s to say that they weren’t meeting up with more people.”

“Number three. Two guys… 5 girls… one place… everyone there is going to wonder who we are and why these 5 women chose to hang out with us (because even though WE know better, conventional wisdom still says that women do the choosing) and we’ve already got a leg up in the competition category for other women… other women can already ASSUME that we aren’t stalkers… and people can watch us truly interact with others, and since we ALWAYS have a good time and start harmless trouble… who WOULDN’T want to meet us.”

“And Number four… the most important. Did you SEE the way that the WHOLE GROUP was looking at us? She was just the spokesperson. Did it ever cross your mind that it could have ended up being a 2 on 5 afterparty later on after we go to the Waffle House (wink)?”

Then he laughed and said:

“You’re right. I’m a dumbass”

So, as an aside (and I know that I’m rambling a bit today), I never blow off a woman when she comes to talk to me.

I treat her the way I’d like to be treated.

I can’t tell you how many times a so-so woman has come up to talk… and within 10 minutes, her HOT friend comes up to join the conversation.

It happens a lot, when you know how to have a good time.

Think about this. Most of the time, you kinda have to ‘make do’ with the environment that you’re in:

Work
School
Neighborhood
Bar

If you practice having fun… no matter the situation… it will help you with approach anxiety, and talking to strange people in general.

So talk to the woman that’s not your type. Who cares. Don’t judge the situation until AFTER it unfolds…

You might surprise yourself.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you MY personal problem with women… I think you’ll want to see this.

Now, most guys tend to think in terms of “why doesn’t she like me” or “what should I do to GET the girl to like me”… both or which are counterintuitive to how things work.

Here are 5 key points to what I know about attracting women like flies to honey:

1. Attraction is a gift from her to you. You can’t TAKE attraction and it’s really tough to force… but you can GUIDE it. Forcing your will on an interaction causes neediness and a WIN/LOSE mentality… which again… does the exact opposite of what you want.

2. Stop worrying about how to “get” her, and start thinking of ways that you can help her find some fun, danger, excitement in her life. If you can give her these type of experiences she’ll have no choice but to want to be around you… because something exciting always happens.

3. Start viewing your interactions from the aspect that YOU’RE the one trying to find out if SHE is worth YOUR TIME… instead of already handing your worth over to her without even finding out if she’s worth the effort. Trust me, I don’t care how hot she is… some women are boring and just plain suck.

4. PULL her into your life. Be on the go and ask her to join you. Things like “I’m going to dinner at (whatever), why don’t you join me?” are MUCH more effective than saying, “So, do you want to do something tonight?” This implies that YOUR LIFE depends on her. I’ll say it time and time again, women like to go for the ride… not BE the ride. (Remember, she has to brag to her friends about SOMETHING.)

5. Flirt SHAMELESSLY and SMILE, you bastards Flirt with the grandmother that’s all dressed up for a night on the town. Flirt with the little 7 year old cutie that’s hanging out in the mall with Mom. Flirt with people in the elevator. Remember, flirting ISN’T overly HITTING on women… it’s playful comments, banter, “Look at you… where are you off to today? (smile)”, “Do you want to ditch your Mom and hang out with me today? (smile)”… it’s having a good time with people and giving off a good, solid vibe that says “I’m fun, I’m secure, I’m ballsy, and I know how to play the game”.

Look, out of all of these, number 5 is the one that I find that if people would just DO THIS ONE THING MORE… they would TRIPLE or QUADRUPLE their success.

Seriously.

Think about this… if you’re in a store and a hot woman sees you flirting with a grandmother, the cashier, or a little girl… don’t you think she’ll want to flirt with you too?

Absolutely. You’ve already presold her on the fact that you’re a pretty good dude (see Halo Effect). Plus, if you DON’T flirt with her, she’ll wonder why you didn’t… follow me.

Your homework: Practice smiling at EVERY single person you pass or interact with and watch the results.

Guess what. MOST PEOPLE SMILE BACK!

… and then you can ask her in a flirty way:

“So, what are YOU smiling about?”

Should be fun.

Anyway, back on the ranch.

I was on the phone with Scot McKay the other day… pretty much just shooting the shit during a decently long drive when we got talking about a video that he said he saw online the other day.

Apparently, two guys were having a contest to see who could bring home the most phone numbers after a night out on the town.

Now, I didn’t see the videos, but according to Scot… our two heroes seemed to be getting phone numbers left and right.

On closer look, one can understand why.

Do you want to know the opener that these guys were using?

So, just give me your number and I’ll let you know where our band is playing next week

Again, I didn’t SEE the video but, regardless… this illustrates a great point.

How many of these phone numbers are QUALITY numbers? Think about it, neither of these guys was even IN a band (unless I misheard the story)…

The perfect flake set up.

Look, if you’re getting phone numbers and contact information without really having a solid reason… you’re writing WOOD.

What’s WOOD?

WOOD… in sales and marketing terms… is a dead lead.

It’s pretty easy to steamroll someone into giving you their number or email address. The problem: people can sense when you’re VALUING the acquisition of contact information.

DON’T WRITE WOOD.

Gone are the days of “gimme your number and maybe we’ll get together sometime”.

Step it up there, McFly.

Solidify that lead… set that appointment right then if possible.

Something low key and pressure free… and FUN.

Let me clarify something… I’m no damn guru… I just know what works for me and the other guys that I know that are great with women.

Don’t just go for contact info…

Remember, it’s MUCH EASIER to give a woman a call to confirm a date (or hanging out… or whatever you call it) than it is to create a date out of thin air.

So… show some balls and ask her to have fun with you right now… don’t be satisfied with JUST a number.

Oh, and another thing… having a phone number contest might not be the best thing for you in the long run. Think about it, if you and your buddy are out having this contest… you’ll be so wrapped up in the phone number game that you’ll likely miss out on the “I’m-horny-and-ready-for-you-to-take-me-home-game”

My motto: Quality over quantity anyday.

The eerie truth, when you focus on quality… quantity soon follows… with quality women

It’s your move.

More videos coming.

Today, I talk about the “friend zone”… and how I avoid the trappings that most guys see.

It’s a pretty easy phenomena… just throw her in the friend zone FIRST.

Also, I talk about “talking about your feelings”.

Funny stuff.

Oh, and tomorrow… I’m gonna have a post up about not writing “wood”.

If you’ve seen the movie “Boiler Room”, you MAY understand what I’m talking about.

It’s something that I do to just about every woman that I meet…

I get a pretty good kick out of it.

And, usually, it resorts in a big smile, a punch in the shoulder, or a big hug.

What is my secret… mystery “trick”?

Why, it’s none other than the age old “You got something on your shirt” gag.

You know what I’m talking about, you get talking to someone and then you either point at their shirt or pick at it like something’s there.

Then, when they look down (they ALWAYS do), you gently pick your finger up and “BONK” their nose.

This is SO old school that no one EVER sees it coming.

Maybe it only works because the other person sees the sly smile that I give them afterward. Maybe it’s the physical humor. Who knows?

All I know is that it works.

Use it as a pattern interrupt if you want… like when she asks you a question about something lame… lol.

Test it out… see what you think.

Here’s a giant tip if you are dating online:

Don’t tell her where you live. Don’t tell her exactly what you do. Don’t answer any of her questions comprehensively or directly.

At least not at first. And she will be drawn into the mystery of you.

Instead, suggest how you FEEL about where you live. Find a sensual way of saying it – something about the trees outside the window, the smell of the jasmine outside, your cool neighbors, how you can go running out your door into hills, near a park. Create a vision into which she can project herself.

Don’t give the name of your neighborhood. That’s boring – it allows her to pigeon-hole you, to stereotype you by the reputation of the neighborhood or town

Labels close doors. Mystery, however, makes her want to open them.

Let’s take, for example, your occupation.

Women want to know what you do for a living, and most guys will just blather out their job title right away. Why?

Don’t be her plaything; instead you should play with her need. One effective way of doing this is to communicate not what you do, but how you do it.

(see my “Power Answers” post for a great example of what Grant’s talking about)

And, most importantly, how you serve others and give the gift of who you are. Because nothing is sexier to a real woman than a man who lives in service to others.

If you can, describe what you do by how you serve. You will trigger a level of admiration from women reading your profile that is primal and powerful. You don’t have to be a Senator or a Nascar Driver or a Fire Captain to communicate how you help others.

Are you a carpenter? Then, say… “I help people love their homes.”

An Accountant? Then say, “I help people keep their lives together so they can enjoy it stress-free.”

In Advertising or Marketing? “I fire up people’s imaginations.”

Not only will this approach trigger her sense of you as a leader and giver in your community, but everything you give, she will feel as if you’ll be giving that to her.

She is going to insert herself into the movie of your life anyway, so direct the coming-attractions trailer as appealingly as possible.

You will answer her directly about your job and it’s title, but only once you’re sitting across the table from her in person.

Never before.

Captain your own ship. Know your own purpose. If you project in your profile that you are measured, controlled, limited, unmysterious, parcelled out, tiny, small or bounded in any way, you lose your power and your mysterious wholeness.

If you hand over all your information, you will turn women off, because the truth is that even you don’t know your mysterious wholeness! If she is any kind of woman she will end up teaching you things about yourself you don’t know. So why try to bore her with a pale imitation of something you don’t even have a full grip on?

Here’s another idea, though it may seem small and subtle. Don’t give her your name early on. Don’t name your profile with your name. How do you know that a “Howard” didn’t harass her at age 12, or a “Bill” didn’t bully her in 3rd grade. I always sign my first email responses with just first initial of my name until they ask if there’s any more to my name.

Giving her just my initial keeps her moving towards me. Most women take it as a tease, as a come-on. Only after you have them moving toward you should you tell them.

Maintaining mystery — even of the subtlest kind — changes the dynamic of the chase. Now, she is now chasing you!

Grant Adams is the world’s leading Internet Dating Guru, and the creator of the Net2Bed-Net2Wed System Manual. Grant offers free Internet Dating Tips at his website

Here’s a cool video of Grant getting interviewed…

Now, I don’t condone cheating… but I couldn’t resist writing this tongue-in-check post.

Here goes.

Rule number one: Before you start, Google “How to catch my boyfriend cheating”… read all of the articles and relevant information about how guys get caught. Go to YouTube and watch boyfriends getting caught and then…

… DON’T do any of this stuff.

Now granted, some of this stuff is counterintuitive right? Right.

Think about it… if I’m a CROOK… and I’m gonna go rob a bank, the first thing I would do is go find out how all of these people were getting caught.

Rule number two: Go to Google and type in “How to cheat on your girlfriend” and…

… don’t do any of that stuff either!

Hey, this is the INTERNET. Your girl is probably reading the EXACT same stuff you are so if start doing any of it, she’ll probably figure you out. Chicks are smart like that.

Hell, she’s probably reading THIS POST RIGHT NOW. Shame on you.

Rule number three: Make sure you’re NOT supposed to see your woman on the same day that you see your fling. Too many tell-tale signs.

Note to the women: if you want to catch your man… give more BJ’s. Think about it. If you suspect your man is cheating… you’re likely to find either

1. Remnants of the encounter around his stuff
2. A freshly washed pepi.

Rule number four In life, be unpredictable. If you’re always doing things that are out of the ordinary… she’ll never think twice when you come back with claw marks on your back… you can just say that you were wrestling a “cougar”.

Rule number five Don’t wear underwear around your fling… especially if your women happens to do your laundry for you. Oh, ladies. Do your man’s laundry, he’ll never suspect you finding him out. You DO have to go through his pockets right?

Rule number six Don’t use your own computer or a well known email address. Get another free, disposable one from gmail or Yahoo!…

Okay, if you’re a guy… and you’re girl ALREADY suspects you of cheating here are some fun things that you can do to really shake her up.

1. Ask for more blowjobs. The reasoning: “Baby, don’t you think that more BJ’s would mean that you would CATCH me in the act. You get to check the equipment ALL the time.

2. Tell her to wash your clothes. “Baby, you’re the most non detective woman that I’ve ever met. Most women I know would have started washing my clothes by now to try and see if they could find any evidence.

3. Tell her that you’re gonna go out and hang out with a few friends and let her know that (insert suspected cheatee) is going to be there. After all, all she has to do is wash your clothes and give you a BJ when you get back to figure out the truth, right?

4. Leave her. If you are cheating, you need to leave. If you aren’t, you still need to leave.

In conclusion, if you’re reading this article in the hopes that you’ll be able to successfully cheat on your woman… you’re a dumb ass. Don’t forget. This is the INTERNET… and these methods became obsolete as soon as I pushed the publish button.

Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this post ends up on a few womens forums with the command:

“Study THIS: Expert tells our men how to cheat.”

So, if you want to cheat on your girl, don’t read anything that tells you how to do it. It’s like giving your game plan to the other team before you even play the game.

(Note: author doesn’t recommend you cheat. Go find another chick to date.)

Check out this video… according to it… I’m a hellacious cheater. I even showed my woman.

Lets see, I:

1. Check the internet at all times of the night.
2. Have plenty of free email accounts
3. Generally turn my cell phone off when I’m at her place

It just goes to show that desperate people will listen to ANYTHING…

The land of the raging hormone… aka testosterone unchecked.

I loved it and hated it at the same time.

But that’s not the point of this post.

How do high school and college kids have it BETTER than people in the REAL WORLD when it comes to meeting people of the opposite sex?

Is it YOUTH?

Is it STANDARDS?

Is it VARIETY?

Nope, not at all.

The simple truth of it is this:

In high school and college, you see many of the same people EVERY DAY.

(or at least twice a week if you’re a slacker when it comes to class)

This means that you have MORE TIME to talk to someone… without having the pressure of trying to get a date or a phone number.

You can be MYSTERIOUS.

You can show AUTHORITY.

You can relay SOCIAL PROOF more often.

In other words, you can create MORE CURIOSITY with less work.

Fast forward to today.

What are some of the things that you can do to see some of the same people over and over?

1. Join a gym and get to know the staff well. Make it a social place for yourself as well as your workout haven. If you notice a class (like Yoga) that has a disproportionate amount of hot ladies in it, by all means… go check it out. Trust me when I say that a gym is a place that connections get made ALL THE TIME.

Sure, some people will be there to just workout… but in my experience… it’s a HUGE social environment where everyone is watching everyone.

Show that you’re well liked in the establishment and people will be curious to know who you are.

2. Take a dance class, cooking class, or any other type of class. Not only are you learning some valuable skills… but you’ll also continually see great women with NO COMPETITION.

3. Go on a cruise. What are they gonna do… jump ship? lol

I’m sure you can think of a few other things that go along with this.

Hey, if you have a choice of meeting the same woman in a bar or in a “normal” environment… which do you think is going to be an easier introduction?

Exactly.

Here’s a small tip. Think of places that have DUES… or… look up different GROUPS.

If you’re into running, find a local running group. Mountain biking… ditto.

A dirty trick: Once you start meeting women in these classes and connecting with them… miss a class on purpose Absense is golden.

“So where were YOU on Thursday?”

(insert own fun but challenging comment)

And the banter ensues.

Do women feel weird talking to you or just avoid your calls all the time?

Are you acting needy? Oneitis maybe?

Look, if you have an ex… or a girl that you’re trying to talk to that just isn’t trying to talk to you… do like ‘ole Stephen Nash says in his “How To Get A Girlfriend” manual and:

Meet 10 New Women Before You Call Her Again

Stop!

There’s no excuse ANYMORE. If you’ve read even one quarter of the information that I go over in this blog… you know EXACTLY what to do.

Build your social circle.

Build YOURSELF

And don’t take any shit from anyone… PERIOD.

My friend, if a person doesn’t want to be around you… fuck ‘em… it’s their loss… and until you REALLY believe that… you’re gonna continue to be at someone else’s mercy.

THAT SUCKS

Build yourself into someone that you’re PROUD of being and introduce this PROUD BEING to everyone you know (and don’t know).

Make it happen. Don’t have women talking about you like this:

I want you to check this scene out from Devil’s Advocate… it’s a pretty solid example of a smooth operator at work.

Notice Milton’s entrance at the party… cool and collected.

Observe the way he interacts with the women on the steps.

But, most importantly, watch how he explains to Ms Theron that she needs to cut her hair.

Naturally, you would think that the devil WOULD be a pretty good seductionist…

(More on the 21 Questions today)

I call it: Factor of “In”

I’ll most likely add a few more things to it later on… but here’s the jist of it:

Interesting + Interested + Indifference ==> One helluva great start

Let me break it down a bit… because this might seem a little tricky. An maybe even a little counterintuitive…

Interesting.

In other words… you lead a life that people like to talk about. Maybe you have a “interesting” hobby… or maybe you have an “interesting” viewpoint on life. You march to the beat of your own drum… that’s for sure.

Interested.

Don’t confuse this with “neediness”. It’s more than okay to “be a man” and let the person that you’re talking to feel a connection brewing. Ask questions and create an “experience”. Have fun telling stories and making her laugh. Being truly “interested” in her life and what makes her tick helps increase “knowledge points” or things that you can talk about later… making you a great conversationalist that never runs out of things to discuss.

Indifference.

This doesn’t mean that you try to be some player “asshole”. No… really it just means that there’s no pressure from you to take things to any level. Being “indifferent” means that although you are “interested” in her… by no means does that mean that you have to have her. In fact, indifference generally stems from a confident man that knows… not thinks… but knows that he doesn’t have to put up with anything from any woman… because he knows that he can meet someone else in no time at all.

Being all 3 of these Factors of “In” naturally brings in a subtle “push-pull”.

The “Indifference” ==> Push
The “Interested” ==> Pull

Lay in a base of “Interesting”… and you’ll soon know the meeting of dating/seduction success.

They’ll give you the same great insight that they’ve given me… guaranteed.

Here are Angel Eyes’ “Laws of Success” (in no particular order):

• Don’t bitch – This one’s pretty tough to abide by and I find myself breaking it more than I’d like to admit. The simple fact is that complaining about your life or a specific situation is the biggest waste of time and nothing constructive EVER comes out of it. Plus, you tend to get yourself into this self defeating prophecy by all of the negative energy you keep stirring up.
• Don’t assume – Whenever I begin to critique progress or people’s lives in general, I always attack their assumptions first. Over ninety percent of the time, the assumptions are what have the person going in the wrong direction. Challenge your own assumptions often or if you are at a sticking point. Ask yourself, “What am I assuming here?”
• Remove negativity from your life – This includes people as well. It is a well known fact that positively oriented people have better success than negatively oriented people. Also, you have to worry about the “crab in a bucket” phenomenon with negative people.
• Create your own luck – Luck happens when opportunity meets preparedness. In other words, if you are ready for “luck”, it will find you.
• You can’t change people, they can only change themselves – We all try to help people, it’s our nature. However, people cannot be helped unless they help themselves. This is the sole reason that I keep all of my best information in my paid materials. I’ve learned that people have to take certain steps themselves before they are going to be receptive to your teachings. Don’t try to force your will onto people that aren’t ready for it – you’re wasting your breath.
• Don’t be a windbag – We all know of the people that talk a big game, but never seem to get anywhere. It’s like the whole fun is to feed their egos of what they “are going to do”. Don’t be that person. Instead…
• Take action – Be a silent killer. Don’t tell everyone your ideas or plans.
• Pay for advice – I’ve learned that the hard way. Free advice is always the worst advice. Have you ever noticed that the people that tend to give the most relationship advice are also the ones that are the worst in relationships? Also, when you pay for something, you commit to it farther and are much more likely to actually do #7.
• Keep it simple – In the world of success, simple solutions beat complex solutions 98% of the time. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Get to the basics. Don’t worry about the exotic solutions because as a rule, the exotic solutions are “fly by night”.
• Play to win – Be aggressive in what you do. Most people in life play “not to lose” or they “half-way” things. Don’t have one foot in and one foot out. You’ll lose every time. If you are going to do something, do it hardcore style… and be relentless.
• Focus on one thing at a time – Multitasking is the worst concept ever invented. Prioritize and conquer… prioritize and conquer.
• Expand your limits – If you are uncomfortable speaking in front of people, join Toastmasters. If you are afraid of any type of confrontation, learn how to fight. Whatever makes you nervous or squeamish, scare it in the face and give it the middle finger.
• Play to your strengths – Don’t worry so much about improving your weaknesses. This isn’t the same as #12. Instead, you’ll find much more success improving your strengths. Remember, baseball players don’t practice football. If you are good as something, become great at it. If you suck at something… pay someone else to do it.
• An investment in yourself is money well spent – The return on investment on yourself is infinity. It cannot be measured. Never quit learning. The late Corey Rudl said, “Do you know what the difference between rich people and poor people is? Rich people have big libraries; poor people have big TV’s” Successful people are always investing in themselves.
• Understand the time/money ratio – Some people say that time equals money and they are right to a certain degree. I say time is much more valuable than money. You can’t get back time. Once you spend it, it’s gone. How many people do you know that will drive all the way across town (15 minutes or more) to buy gas that’s 10 cents cheaper for a grand savings of a whole $1.50 per tank. Of course, in this example you are paid (save) a great big $6/hr on average for your drive. Congrats.
• Put your shopping cart away in the parking lot – I had to throw this in; it’s a pet peeve of mine. They aren’t that heavy.
• Don’t take yourself so seriously – Laugh at yourself. You are going to make mistakes. In fact, the faster you make mistakes, the faster you learn from them.
• Don’t blow your cool – If you really want to freak someone out the next time one of your subordinates does something stupid: remain calm. Most people expect to be chewed out or yelled at. Don’t. When you keep your cool, the effect of the “discussion” is amplified. Control is a powerful thing and it can have many constructive effects.
• Don’t lie – My father used to tell me, “Brad, don’t lie. It’s too much work. You always have to remember what you told someone.” On that note, don’t lie to yourself either. If you can be honest with yourself… that’s the path.
• Allow people to tell you the truth – Just like you have a responsibility to tell the truth, you also have the responsibility to allow people to tell you the truth. Number 18 comes back into effect here. If you tend to go haywire every time someone makes a mistake, it will be much harder to get the truth out of them. Always set the stage for people to tell you the truth. When your people don’t tell you the truth, it’s not their problem… it’s yours.

Let the fun begin… as always… comment away…

Alright guys… here’s a weekend mission for you from that bastard Devil Smile…

… should you choose to accept it.

Here’s the challenge… if you are a social drinker… you are only allowed to buy yourself one drink tonight.

Just one to get you started…

If you’d like to drink more… then a lady has to buy it for you.

Simple game… total change in mindset.

Remember, in most cases, the person buying the drinks is the CHASER. If you need a few hints on how to make this happen… pay attention.

1. Just sip on your first one as you talk to the women around the bar/club. Once you get into a great, playful conversation with a woman… if she says something inappropriate or tries to joke on you a bit… she owes you a beer/drink.

2. Once she buys you a drink (because the first is usually the hardest), you can joke on her… making it seem that she is trying to get you drunk so she can take advantage of you.

3. You can also bounce around… talking to different women… and repeating the same type of scenario.

Under no circumstances can you ASK for a drink… you have to playfully suggest it based on the situation and see where it goes. If she goes for it… it’s a pretty safe bet that she’s attracted to you.

Plus, she’s INVESTED in you… which moves her closer to you…

The key to this is the just have a really good time with people and see what happens… don’t have any preconceived notions of what you expect… just go with it.

You might be surprised how well things turn out.

Here’s the deal… everyone talks about being a trustworthy individual… and that telling the truth is a direct reflection on your character…

And that’s true to a certain degree.

BUT… I truly feel that the best reflection of a persons character is his or her ability to have people tell THEM the truth.

Confused?

Having someone tell you the truth is a two-way street. First, the person has to have the integrity enough to want to tell the truth. Second, you have to be a person that ALLOWS people to tell you the truth.

An example…

If you are known to another person as a violent individual… prone to explosive, physical violence… do you think ANYONE in their right mind is EVER going to tell you the truth…

HELL NO.

Also, maybe you’re the type of person that verbally puts people down when they make mistakes…. do you think someone’s gonna tell you the truth… knowing that they are going to be made to feel like shit… even though they already feel bad enough?

EXACTLY.

But it doesn’t stop there…

What if people know that you get overly sensitive to things? Do you think people are going to hide the truth from you? Do you think most people LIKE hurting your feelings.

ONE MORE POINT

Look, the only two things keeping people from telling you the truth are:

1. Their character. Which you shouldn’t be around these type of people anyway.
2. Their egos. No one wants to make someone else feel bad or get hurt themselves. Everyone is afraid of being “the messenger” to a certain degree.

Here’s another great example for you.

Let’s say that you are a manager at work and a problem arises that you don’t know about. What describes your typical situation?

A: No one fesses up to the mistake until it’s too late and everyone points fingers about why it’s not their fault. And, when you do find out… you have a staff meeting and blast everyone out for not telling you sooner. Everyone’s on edge and afraid for their jobs. You on the other hand start complaining to your superiors about how you just can’t find any one to do the job right and the communication in your department is obviously breaking down. Oh, and you just lost a million dollar client because of it.

B: The person that made the mistake immediately brings the mistake to your attention, knowing that you aren’t going to blow up on them. You hired them for a reason and you understand that people make mistakes. Plus, they respect you because of your professionalism and maturity. You immediately question the employee to find out what happened exactly and immediately give them instructions to rectify the situation. If you need to make a few calls to smooth things over… you do so… excepting responsibility the whole way. Only after the situation is resolved do you bring the employee in to discuss how this situation can be prevented in the future. No yelling. No “you’re a dumb SOB”. None of that. You thank the person for bringing this to your attention as quickly as possible and tell them that you understand that mistakes happen. Although, you’d like to have no mistakes, you tell them that a mistake free environment is a pipe dream and isn’t reality and that your ABILITY to recover from your mistakes defines you more than the mistakes themselves.

Which environment is more productive?

If you “hire” the correct women in your life… then you should know that they aren’t making mistakes on purpose. Why treat them that way? They probably already feel bad enough for making the mistake and letting you down.

Allow them to tell you the truth and enjoy relationships that are much more meaningful.

Put this into action and watch your influence soar.

(Oh, I talk about this a bit in “Explode Your Influence” as well)

(A plot by that bastard Devil Smile)

Do you own… or do you get owned?

Easy question… tough answer for most people. I often ask people that are having relationship problems, oneitis problems… even sex problems

I was reading a post on David Wygant’s blog titled “Don’t Be A Slave To Your Dick” when I got to thinking…

You see, if you read this post, David talks about how most guys scream “Desperate” by their actions… just because they want a piece of ass.

Look… this is reactive thinking. Before you do something, really think about the message that you are trying to convey. Are you trying to come off as desperate?

Are you looking like “the man”… or just some poor chump trying to score?

Look, be aloof… PULL her into you… don’t PUSH…

Own the scene… own the spot… own the night…

Pause before you comment on something she’s said. If she flings a “test” your way… nonchalantly brush it off like no big deal. Laugh. Smile.

Show her that you have a mission in life and that no one woman is going to get you derailed.

Be proactive in your thinking… meet people so that you have options.

(Sounds like a recurring theme doesn’t it)

Then… and only then…you start playing women off of each other… lol.

Show up places with women that other women that you know are hanging out. Let it be seen that you are “worthy” of female companionship.

Don’t let it be midnight and you are looking around all desperate like because you have no prospects…

Think hibernation.

You stock up on your rations so that you’re ready for anything… even a potentially lonely night.

Have fun… and rule your world.

Because if you don’t… someone else will.

DS out.

(A post by that heartless bastard… Devil Smile)

Ah, I’m back from my 3 day slumber… ready to drop another “nugget” on you.

You see so many people try to act “nice” and even try to act “polite” in the world of gaming women.

It’s time to try something different… instead of ignoring the fact… or even playing down the fact that you are going out tonight to try to find a woman… try going in the opposite direction.

Let people FEEL your sexuality.

And I’m not talking about crazy stalker sexuality, either.

No, I’m talking smooth operator… that DANGEROUS guy that intrigues women to no end.

If you want the one night stand… play on the edge… push the limits… don’t be afraid to talk about sex…

Find ways to bring it up.

Make it look like she’s the one trying to jump YOU.

Oh… I almost forgot… do you want an almost guaranteed way to close a woman in less than 4 hours time…

Instead of you buying drinks for her… figure out ways to get her to buy drinks for YOU.

And, everytime she buys you a drink… you accuse her of trying to get you drunk to take advantage of you.

Devious, huh?

But you know what’s funny… if she buys you one… and you make it seem as though she’s chasing you… she’ll continue to buy you drinks… no matter how hot she is.

Then, you just KEEP ON amping up the, “Why are you trying to take advantage of me” routine…

Let me tell you… if you’re the one buying drinks… most of the time you don’t get what you want…

… there’s no challenge…

Here’s a great example of how this all works…

For my birthday this year… one of my great friends and I went out for drinks.

Now, when I go out… I TALK… A LOT.

I want people to notice that I know people… even if I really don’t.

So, I end up talking to this one group of women and one of them buys me a drink for my birthday…

I leave… talk to some more women… get a shot from them… go back to my other group… get a drink from them…

Notice… I’m not ASKING for drinks… it’s payment (or maybe a BRIBE) to get me to stay around and talk.

It got so bad that one of the women looks at my friend’s girlfriend and says:

“Why is he over there talking to those girls? I’ve already bought him 3 drinks tonight… what should I do?

And the girlfriend’s response (she’s seen me do this a countless number of times)…

Quit buying him drinks…

Of course, she didn’t… and I ended up over at her house later for a “night cap”.

The point is… you can end up totally shitfaced if you don’t watch out… on someone else’s buck… without looking like a chump… AND get the girl at the same time.

So how do we accomplish this…

Easy.

For starters… any time a woman makes a weird comment or tries to put me down… she owes me a drink…

As soon as I get it… I then accuse her of trying to get in my pants… to which she’ll either bashfully say “No way”… or she might even say “Maybe”…

… I’ve even had them say… “How did you know (with a wink)”…

Look, women do this shit all of the time… most only take a few bucks out because they know that they are going to be able to find some poor smuck to buy them drinks…

Not this guy… I take their tactic and reverse it on them.

And it’s funny as hell to watch.

Is it manipulative… absolutely.

Harmless… maybe.

But does it work… well… you be the judge.

Not because I am necessarily ready for the weekend… nope, not at all.

Actually, it’s because I get to send an email to all of my subscribers with a little bit of info from the week… maybe something I’ve learned or even remembered.

This week, I want to talk about “being a man”.

Let me tell you a quick story.

I’ve got a buddy, let’s call him Sam for privacy purposes.

Sam is what you would call a “guy’s guy”… you know what I’m talking about. Lots of fun, plays sports, good head on his shoulders, likes beer… you know… a Tim Allen type.

Sam ended up marrying a great girl… she was smart, attractive, rich, but pretty much the complete opposite of Sam. She wasn’t necessarily shy… but she wasn’t the outgoing type that Sam was.

Long story short, Sam made a mistake about 3 months into his marriage… actually, he made a few… and they have absolutely nothing to do with cheating or anything like that…

In fact, Sam’s a pretty stand up guy when it comes to that… that’s why he’s a friend… I don’t hang out with scumbags.

Anyway, Sam made a mistake… and instead of being the MAN and admitting to it… he kept trying to sidestep the issue. Finally, when he did admit his mistake… he kept apologizing over and over about it…

… and the pants in the relationship switched partners.

So now SHE’S the one calling all the shots… she’s making all the decisions… and SHE’S HATING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

He keeps getting deeper and deeper into the apologetic phase because she keeps getting more and more agitated.

I straight up told him, “Look guy, you’ve got to man up… say that the situation is done… and that they’ll be no more discussion about it. She’s looking for you to be the MAN that she married… and she’s not getting it right now.”

Needless to say… he didn’t take my advice and they ended up separated within 5 months of their marriage.

Now, before you can say that it just wasn’t meant to be… or any other crap like that… let me tell you… I’ve never seen two people that were more perfect for each other.

But he lost his balls… and she didn’t know how to handle it.

The moral of the story: be a MAN… handle your business.

Realize that she WANTS you to be a man… she wants you to take charge.

I performed a little experiment a few months ago… just to demonstrate this fact.

For one set of women, I asked them out something like this:

“Hey Shirley, it’s AE… Look, I don’t know what your plans are on Saturday but I was thinking about getting a bite over at (name restaurant) and then grabbing a few drinks at (name drink joint)… you in?”

Or maybe…

“Hey Laura, you don’t have plans Saturday night, right? Cool, I was thinking about (name plan)… you in? Alright, I’ll swing by at 7:30 and make sure you’re ready… lol”

The response was generally pretty good… women generally don’t like “making” the plans. The only times that we didn’t do what I suggested was if they absolutely HATED that type of place or an ex worked there…

Very rarely.

Couple that with what I did for another group of women….

“So, um, Nancy… what do you have going on Saturday night? Nothing… okay… do you want to hang out? Great. Well what do you want to do? Oh, maybe go out to eat? Okay… what kind of food do you think you’ll be in the mood for? Okay, do you want to get drinks afterward? What time do you need to be in by… okay, well… what time do you want me to pick you up?”

The second group of women ALWAYS started to get agitated.

Every single time.

So be a man, have a plan of what YOU WANT TO DO… and ALLOW her into your world… on your terms.

– from my own head

I want you to take a long, hard, look at your life right now. Are there things that you want to change? Do you want to get better at women, make more money, look better, etc…

‘So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don’t sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late. ‘ -Lee Iacocca

Stop sitting around doing nothing. Look, laziness is an ACTIVE DECISION… you are ACTIVELY CHOOSING to do nothing.

You aren’t just “waiting around” or “researching” or whatever…

You’re ACTIVELY choosing to fail… point blank.

If you learn something here… on this site… or any other place in the community… put it to use TODAY!

Why wait around?

Do you know what’s sad?

There are countless numbers of people in the world that you can catch reflecting on their past… saying things like… “well, if I only would have applied myself… I could have been (whatever)” or “I wish I had taken (whatever) seriously, just think of where I could be right now”.

“It’s better to regret the things that you HAVE DONE… than regret the things that you HAVEN’T DONE”

– from the Dating Black Book

Always remember, courage is doing something even though you are AFRAID of what it is that you are doing.

I’ve said it before… you can’t be afraid of life… change happens everyday. Successful people embrace change… even create it… while unsuccessful people loath it… and even cower away from it.

‘Boys, there ain’t no free lunches in this country. And don’t go spending your whole life commiserating that you got the raw deals. You’ve got to say, “I think that if I keep working at this and want it bad enough I can have it.” It’s called perseverance.’ -Lee Iacocca

Are you going to give up?

Did you know that every failure is just one step closer to success?

Here’s another great quote:

‘In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high.’ -Henry David Thoreau

Never settle in life… with women… or anything.

You’re better than that… and you’ve always known it.

But maybe you’re struggling a bit… maybe things just aren’t clicking for you… maybe you’re getting shut down left and right by every single woman that you meet…

… or even worse… you’re getting OWNED by the one that you’re with.

“Always remember that striving and struggle precede success, even in the dictionary.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

I think one of the things that may help you as well is the Law of Detachment. Basically, this says that in order to get whatever you want, you must be willing to let it go.

You don’t give up the intention, and you don’t give up the desire… you give up your attachment to a specific result.

This is a very powerful thing to do because it lets you see the world of possibilities in front of you…

Remember, attachment is based on FEAR and INSECURITY…

You, as a person, are stronger than any one job, person, or situation. Your life is not defined by who you’re with, or the money you make, or even what you do in a superficial type of way.

Your life is truly defined by the VALUE you bring to other people.

Think about this for a moment.

Think about what type of value you bring to people, your mom, your dad, your friends…

Remember this: people only want to be around you based on a selfish reason… that you provide some type of VALUE to them.

(I talk about this at great length in “Explode Your Influence”

Quit focusing on your failures… they’re just RESULTS… nothing more… nothing less. It’s just feedback.

You live… you learn… you live more.

And then you dominate… it’s just that simple.

For more great information on the changes that men go through when it comes to women, and how to overcome them, check out Carlos Xuma’s Dating Black Book. With over 400 pages of “written smoke”, this manuscript is a MUST READ for all men… from the beginner… to the seasoned vet.

And don’t forget, reply to my email address (angeleyes.at.angeleyesdevilsmile.com) with a copy of your receipt… and I’ll send you the Dating Black Book mind map that I’ve created… my “Secret To Lasting Change”… and a copy of my special social proof report, “Explode Your Influence”…

Take the road less traveled.

More on the Dating Black Book expose around 12pm EST tomorrow.

And it’s UGLY.

I want you to remember one thing… no one respects a drunk…

I was at an all day party this past weekend (remember, house parties are IT) when I saw this. Look, getting out of control when you drink totally takes you out of the scene.

And this guy is someone that CAN afford to act up.

But guess what… he won’t be acting up around that crowd again… or any of the people that were there. Interestingly enough, in one fell swoop, this guy pulled the best example of anti-networking that I’ve ever seen.

Do you think any women wanted to be around him?

Exactly.

Look, one of the best things that you can for yourself is to always be in control. I’ll tell you from past experience that being out of control is one of the worst experiences in your life. It HAUNTS you.

You can’t take it back… and you can ruin your status in one afternoon.

So, if you’re gonna drink at someone else’s party… keep it chill… let everyone else get drunk.

Remember, a huge key in any house party situation is for you to act as a host… not an unruly guest.

Here’s something else for you… I’m currently finishing my report called “Exploding Your Influence”… it’ll be ready tomorrow by 5pm EST. If you want to know how I used to take over a town in less than 2 months… without knowing a soul… you’ll definitely want a copy…

You can preorder a copy here:

Exploding Your Influence

If you want a simple way to meet more women… it’s a priceless addition to your library.

It’s only 7 bucks to preorder… and it’ll be emailed to you before 5pm EST tomorrow.

Happy reading.

The better you get with women… the less you have to try.

And I’m not the only one that thinks like that…

Give this post a read.

I’ll write more tomorrow about this.

You work your ass off to create attraction, intrigue, and mystery only to absolutely blow it when you go out with her for the first time.

Why would you want to take someone to a place that creates an environment of “no interaction”?

Sure, if you’ve been dating someone for a while… they may want to get a little down and dirty in the back of the theater… but we aren’t exactly in 8th grade any more.

Look, on a first date… YOU need to be the entertainment.

Got it, McFly?

Taking her to the movies is run of the mill… and it requires no imagination. Plus, I really can’t think of a time when it really would help to “dial up” the attraction.

How can you show her how much of a good time you are if you can’t talk to her and interact?

Instead of going to the movies… take her to get coffee… something low key where you can TELL STORIES about yourself and make her laugh.

Everyone that I’ve ever seen that is great with women has perfected the art of storytelling…

I think it’s a LOST ART.

Think about it this way… why would she want to go to the movies?

BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO SEE A GREAT STORY.

Bingo.

Don’t be boring… boring is a “sexy” killer. Instead… interact, tell stories, joke around, exude confidence, ask questions, find out interesting information about her, stir up emotion, “anchor” those emotions to yourself, and continue to “dial up” the sexual tension… all while creating an aura and air of mystery and intrigue about yourself…

You can’t do that at a movie…

In fact, even AFTER a movie, I think it’s tough… because most of the time… people get pretty tired and aren’t looking for any more stimulus.

And that includes you, my friend.

I want to share with you a few emails I’ve gotten from fans of my site which I find to be quite troubling…

Hi Joseph,

When I would learn these openers and what to say the women instantly could smell that it is NOT ME who had originally these ideas. It wouldn’t be myself who created these lines. They would reject me faster as I could imagine. So how should this whole thing work ???

Honestly Joe, if I would try one of these openers they would instantly laugh and reject me because they could smell that I learned these sentences.

This type of e-mail is not an isolated instance. I get many e-mails from guys saying things like:

“I like your tactics, but they won’t work for me.”

“If I tried something like this, I’d get laughed at and rejected.”

“If I actually approached a woman with this material, I’d spontaneously combust, scanners-style.”

Well, you get the idea…

When I e-mail these guys back asking if they’ve actually *bothered* to go out and try my techniques, the answers are usually always:

“No. I just KNOW it won’t work.”

Well, for those of you out there who think this way, I have a secret I want to share with you…

YOU ARE NOT A SPECIAL CASE!

Seriously, most guys who have the toughest time with women think that no matter what they study, it won’t work for them because their case is unique and different from every other guy out there.

Well, I’m here to tell you you’re wrong.

I’ve learned through experience that most guys are not very different from each other, just as most girls aren’t very different from each other. In fact, a friend of mine summed it up best when he said:

“All women are different. But not THAT different.”

The same goes for us dudes.

We all have the same fears and insecurities. We just deal with them differently. Most guys deal by shutting down and not even trying to improve.

Rather, they take the easy way out and just blame the world, other women, their circumstances, etc.

They even blame themselves, yet they prefer to beat themselves up rather than take responsibility to IMPROVE their circumstance.

There’s a name for that type of guy, and it’s:

L-O-S-E-R

But the thing is, they don’t have to stay that way. All it requires is a little hard work and effort on their part to CHANGE THEIR LIFE FOR THE BETTER!

You need to go out and meet women. Talk to them. Make them laugh. Have fun. Go to the places that women are. Have the courage to ask them for their numbers or ask them out on dates. Risk falling on your face a few times, but learn from each experience and grow as a human being!

No one says it’s gonna be easy. You gotta do the work. You got to get off your butt and do what it takes to get what you want! It can be difficult, but very rewarding.

Wishing you success with women,

Joseph Matthews

Joseph Matthews is webmaster of http://www.ArtOfApproaching.com and has just released his comprehensive guide on how to overcome fear of rejection and meet and date tons of beautiful women. You can check out his website here — Meet Woman.

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Read my Art Of Approaching review.

And guess what, she’s gonna find out at some point anyway. Look, I believe in karma… but not the way that some people do. I think that if you do someone wrong on purpose, you’ll subconsciencely do something to harm yourself in some way. You don’t really think about it that much, but you know you’ve done something wrong… and it trickles down into your life.

Only the most heartless person would be able to prevent this from happening… but I haven’t met that person yet.

Instead of lies and trickery… I advise you to go to the other end of the spectrum… straight up, deathly brutal honesty.

Why, you may ask…

… because know one else is doing it!

Seems strange right.

I have to confess… most women don’t really believe anything that comes out of your mouth at the beginning anyway. So… that being the case… you might as well shoot straight.

Here’s a lesson I got from my Dad at a young age… he told me:

Son, don’t ever lie… (Why, I said) … because it’s too much damn work trying to keep up with what you’ve said

Sage advice.

If a woman catches you in a lie… no matter how small… you lose… especially in the beginning.

(As an aside… if you are going to lie… make it an obvious lie. An example would be talking about how “small” your “soldier” is. This is funny as hell to say and it’s even funnier to everyone else. Also, I actually had a woman call me out one time when she said, “Every guy I’ve ever met that’s said that… has been absolutely huge!” Hmmm, what other types of OBVIOUS lies can you think of that can work in this way?)

Back to brutal honesty…

If you have a reputation for brutal honesty… you gain instant respect. With instant respect… you have less flaky behavior. Plus, the woman will typically be on her best behavior when you are around because they KNOW that you’ll point out less than desirable situations.

Call things like you see them and the women will respect you. You’ll also generate intrigue and mystery… because everyone is going to want to know why you are SO CONFIDENT that you can afford to shoot everyone as straight as an arrow.

Brutal honesty DOES NOT mean that you have to be an asshole, though!

Actually, it works much better if you aren’t.

Here are some situations where brutal honesty as necessary:

1. When a woman asks you if you are only in it for the sex. If you are, tell her that you are. If she gets upset, ask her if she’s ever met anyone that has ever told her that. Most of the time, your situation won’t change (especially if you’re GOOD) and you don’t have to continue to “reassure” her that you aren’t. Save yourself the trouble.
2. When she asks you if you’re having sex with other people. If you are, either tell her you are… or tell her to just assume that you are… if you don’t want to go into details. Don’t lie. There’s no need. She most likely is still going to go through with everything… and now she doesn’t have to “think” about it any longer. Great move.
3. When she asks what you do. Either tell her or divert the question. You ARE HAPPY with what you do, right? If not, get a new job

The key here is to tell the truth… and use it to qualify HER. Don’t let her qualify YOU.

For instance, if she asks you what you do… and you are a computer programmer… come up with an “elevator” pitch about what you do and then FLIP the script with a qualifying question of your own.

An example:

Her: So, what do you do?

You: Wow, I expected a little better from you… anyway, I help create products that mass market manufacturers use to increase productivity. In my line of work, I always have to be on my toes… things are spontaneous and creative. With that being said, I tend to find myself around people that are spontaneous and fun… you ARE spontaneous and fun, aren’t you?

And you’ve flipped it around on her… this one isn’t perfect… but you get the idea.

Here’s another way to approach using the OBVIOUS LIE…

Her: So, what do you do?

You: Are you serious? I thought you would do better than that… maybe I was wrong (with a sly smile). If you must know, I work in the mail division of Blah Blah company. I’m the official stamp licker. The job leaves me pretty tired at the end of the day with all that licking going on but I guess a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, right?

Her: Come on, be serious.

You: I am… what would you think I’d do?

(Oh, that reminds me of repoire building, I’ll write about that soon. On a quick note, always try to answer a question with a question… preferably an EMOTIONAL question. More later.)

Finally, do you want to know a “black hat” reason for brutal honesty?

If you have a reputation and history of brutal honesty… if you ever have to lie… you’ll never be questioned about it. And, if you want… you can use this to manipulate people to no end.

I’ll show you how to do this as well… although I really only use it when I feel like people are trying to “game” me

I think that post will be something like “slight of hand” manipulation.

If you’re dating a woman that continually brings you down or has emotional issues that she wants you to fix… you gotta let her go.

Fellas, trust me on this one…

… because many times… it’s NOT EASY to do.

After all, if you are worth a damn, you’re gonna want to try to help. But… there comes a point where you are helping her so much that you start to neglect your own life…

… been there… done that.

Look, if the person you’re with doesn’t help to make YOU a better person… you’re better off without them.

It’s time for the “band aid” breakup!

Put simply, just like a band aid, you have to rip it off and go…

And IT HURTS LIKE HELL.

But… if you don’t do it… if you let it continue to be there… or you try to slowly remove her from your life… it’s like torture.

You can’t do it… you can’t be friends.

Cut bait and run, my friend. Cut bait and run.

It sucks. But you have to do it.

Let me repeat… if a woman is bringing you down… you’ve gotta “Band Aid” Breakup her.

In six months, your life… in all aspects… will be so much better.