… and you didn’t disappoint.

We got some great questions in and Race dropped a few golden nuggets as well… apparently the guy just can’t help but give it all away… almost.

When you listen in, you’re going to discover:

- Race’s #1 frame of mind that he uses with ALL women, before he even says hello

- What to do when you get the dreaded “Who IS This” text

- How to transition from “text” to “sex” – without seeming like a dirtbag (and she’ll LOVE YOU for this one)

- Reconnection strategies for the one you let “get away”

There are a lot of tips and techniques in this interview. I was impressed to say the least.

And, even if this isn’t your cup of tea, you should listen in ANYWAY. There are some great overall tips as well, from approaching women to getting phone numbers in a fun, relaxed, never-fails way.

Interested?

I thought so… just hit play and let the fun times roll!

Stay cool,

Brad

p.s. I just finished reviewing Race’s B4 U TXT HER system and it’s money… so buy with confidence.

I mean, why send someone a message when you can call them up, right?

I fought it… for a LONG TIME. I definitely was a late adopter for sure…

… but I’ve got to tell you. If you’re waiting for the text messaging “phase” to pass… DON’T.

Look, text messaging is awesome for a bunch of reasons… but I’m going to give you my favorite 3.

1. You can get to it when you want to get to it. It shows up on your phone right then and you can check it and KNOW instantly what the other person wants. No need to hassle over answering the phone to determine if something’s important or not.

2. Text messaging forces other people to generally be DIRECT and TO THE POINT… which is great. I hate wasting time beating around the bush.

3. You can control the tempo AND most importantly, THINK about what you’re gonna say. THIS IS HUGE! If you put your foot on your mouth while texting, you either need to work on your text game… which we can get handledl… or you have fat thumbs… lol… and I can’t help you there.

If you want to know more about how to intrigue and connect with women through text messaging, then I’ve got a great treat for you.

I’m interviewing Race DePriest, the creator of the B4 U TXT HER system and I’m going to extract some awesome info for you based on his text messaging prowess. Now, I’m currently going through the program right now with a fine toothed comb…

… but here’s what I need from you.

Tell us your most PRESSING questions about text messaging… no matter how crazy you think they are and I’ll ask Race when I interview him on Wednesday for the podcast, which will be available Friday morning.

Simply put your questions in the comments and I’ll ask him. Also, I may even get him to come over here and answer them personally… we’ll have to see.

So get them in and we’ll get you handled.

B

p.s. Race is the guy that hooked me up in Vegas if you remember from my last email… so he’s on my A list of people right now, even though we’ve never met in person

… not that I don’t like writing and producing content for you guys.

So here’s what I’m gonna do.

I’m gonna commit to writing or producing one killer post or video for you each week. This will be totally different stuff that what I produce over at Adonis Lifestyle, which is more “lifestyle” and “status” oriented.

Over here, I’m thinking about keeping it about tactics and techniques.

Little things you can do to help give you more confidence with the ladies. Things that can get you success and allow you to get out of your own damn way.

Because ultimately, that’s the real problem.

I’ve mentioned this a few times and I don’t know if I’ve said it here or not, but the main difference between me and you is that we BELIEVE different things:

1. I believe that women like talking to me
2. I believe that women won’t shut me down
3. I believe that if a woman DOES shut me down, it’s very likely that she’s just not a good fit… or she’s had a bad day, etc and that it VERY LIKELY has nothing to do with me.

They are just a few of the examples.

Now, before you go on thinking about how I’m the most egotistical jackass you’ve ever met, step back for a second and really think about it.

This isn’t about ego… or being cocky.

It’s about being cool with yourself. And having some “self trust”

So here you go, here’s my ultimate pick up line.

Hi, WE HAVEN’T MET YET, my name’s Brad

Sounds simple, huh?

It is.

Let me tell you why it works.

1. It implies that there is a REASON that the person should know you, or that you should have already met. The curiosity factor creeps in.

2. It’s simple and direct. It’s a strong lead. Plus, simple means you’ll actually DO IT instead of mentally masturbating in the corner trying to think of the best thing to say.

3. It doesn’t convey WHY you’re meeting them so the conversation can go in any direction. And most of the time, the other person will start the convo in a direction, making things easier for you.

4. It’s FEELS powerful to say. It’s not wimpy. It’s a “here I am, ready to take over the world” opener.

Yes, this one little opener IMPLIES THIS MUCH.

And nobody does it.

Where does it work?

Damn near anywhere, but ESPECIALLY in social situations like parties, conventions, networking events, bars, etc.

If you’re into creating an “alpha presence” or getting a “state pump”, this little ditty will help.

I’ll do a video on this next week and show you how to maximize this effect using a few “plugins”.

Stay cool,

Brad

p.s. I’m going to be discontinuing the Inner Circle for now. I’d rather focus on giving you good stuff over on this side so you’ll go invest in Adonis…

Approaching women and groups of people in general is EASY… as long as you have the right mentality.

In fact, over the last month… I haven’t been rejected… or blown off… told to go to hell…

… not ONCE.

In fact, you likely won’t believe how easy this is.

You ready?

Here’s the secret:

LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR THE ENCOUNTER

Sounds easy, right?

It is… and it works like gangbusters.

Lately, I’ve really found that if you’re just out meeting cool people, you put A LOT less pressure on yourself.

(This is kinda like “Source of Fun“… but more laid back)

It’s like people (and women) have these little psychic tentacles that can SENSE when you’re out trying to SCORE…

… even if you SUCK AT IT!

BUT, if you can relax and just meet people to meet people, several things start to happen.

1. You put less pressure on yourself to try to get the girl. This is a HUGE KEY because it allows you to relax and pay attention to what’s going on right now. After all, would you have a problem walking up to a woman and asking for the TIME?

Of course you wouldn’t.

You likely wouldn’t even fumble it. In your head, you KNOW she’s not going to tell you to screw off (unless she can sense you’re trying to get in her pants… lol)

Why?

Because it’s NOT A BIG DEAL. You just want to know the time.

2. You put LESS PRESSURE ON HER to make a decision on how fast she needs to prequalify you.

Look, women get hit on A LOT. Single women, married women… all of them.

But, I would venture to say that 99.1% of women would have NO ISSUE meeting a cool, new person… no matter their status. Remember, people are generally bored and like to have cool, low key conversations.

Plus, most guys BAIL when they find out a woman is married or has a boyfriend.

Not me.

I”ve done some of my BEST networking meeting a wife or girlfriend of someone… and that wife or girlfriend telling the guy that I’m a person he needs to meet.

I mean, why bail out or try to overly hit on a woman when she can introduce you to someone that could make you an extra 200k this year?

3. THIS IS THE KILLER ONE. It actually gives YOU a chance to see if she’s (or that group) the type of person that YOU’D like to hang out with.

Think about how this sounds:

You don’t even know her… and you want to sleep with her.

She could be psycho
She could have AIDS
She could be looking for a baby daddy (nothing wrong with that, unless it’s a deal breaker)
She could be a chain smoker
She could be a lesbian.

Look, this person could be COMPLETELY BAD NEWS FOR YOU and because you’ve already determined that you want to sleep with her… YOU’LL NEVER SEE ANY OF THESE BAD DEAL BREAKERS because of a little phenomenon called “diagnosis bias”

Diagnosis bias basically states that once you JUDGE someone… you subconsciously DISREGARD any and all objective data that contradicts the judgment you’ve made on someone. It’s a little like cognitive dissonance… and it REALLY messes with your head.

In fact, someone has to do something that really shakes your frame for you to change your decision about that person.

Research proven.

(Betcha didn’t know about that one. Hell, “diagnosis bias” is REASON ENOUGH not to dig deep too fast)

“So when do you start hitting on her then?” you may ask.

Easy, you use BAIT.

I’ll flesh out and continue all of this on Friday.

Out.

The first one is the fact that guys are getting flustered with a lack of things to say… like they can’t keep the conversation going.

Here’s a hint: Let it die on purpose.

In fact, walk away before you’re supposed to.

Quit trying to “lock in” right off the bat and make her do some work… lol.

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with you talking to a group of women briefly, then excusing yourself to go to the bathroom right when the convo starts to get interesting. Quite frankly, this is actually a dirty trick… and it’s called the Zeigernik effect (people remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed ones).

If you want to stay on the mind of someone, don’t leave during a logical transition… leave during a point in the conversation when there is still “skin on the bone”… so to say.

Then, just go talk to some other people.

The key is to talk to people just enough to decide if it’s worth your time to go back and talk to them later.

But better yet, this also opens the situation of the woman (women) coming back and finding YOU to finish the conversation.

Remember: How many times have you heard of a woman talk about having “closure”?

Exactly.

Here’s a good way to go about it:

1. Make a no pressure “sweep” through the room. Smiling and saying “hello” to everyone you can. Make a bit of small talk, give some high fives, give reputations by accusing the groups you meet of being out of control….

Think “Meet and Greet”.

2. Which groups seemed fun and worthy of more of your attention. Go back through and chat ‘em up… and keep the Zeigernik effect in mind the whole time. Find a high point to exit out of the convo and move on to the next one.

3. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Now, with this, you’re gonna find that you’ll be able to easily lock in with a woman or group at some point… and the convo flows smoothly.

And, the best part: NO PRESSURE on you… or anyone else.

You’re just meeting people to meet them and evaluating if it’s worth YOUR TIME to come back.

Then, you’re sicking ‘ole Zeigernik on ‘em to hook them to you (remember, a lot of the time, they’ll keep tabs on where you are, which other women notice… sneaky)

Give it a try…

Want more phone numbers?

Want more dates?

Want more friends?

… then start weaving “fascination” into your life… give this a listen… I promise it’ll “fascinate” you…

(Oh, and for those of you that have been asking me about how to avoid being “cockblocked”… this audio is for you… )

You see, a bunch of us are SUPPOSED to be down in LA right now getting ready for a seminar that’s being put on by Eben Pagan (aka David DeAngelo)…

I’ll be hanging out with:

Brent Smith
Jae Ellis
Adam Gilad
Graig Ozey

… and some other cool cats that are amazing with women… but that you’ve never heard of…

BUT… guess who was SUPPOSED to show up… but isn’t.

That’s right… Insider Internet Dating’s infamous Dave M.

He’s “too busy” for the likes of us.

Actually, even though I’m giving Dave a hard time… mainly because he deserves it… he’s a good dude and has some awesome ideas and systems to get you SCORES of women by the droves.

He’s not coming because he’s working on a special report for you guys that he “claims” will let you see Internet Dating from a woman’s perspective…

(I’ve seen the rough copy, this tactic is PURE GOLD and is funny as hell)

You should have it in your inbox in the next couple of weeks… it’s good stuff.

So while I’m giving Dave a hard time, I guess I’ve got to cut him a little slack…

… after all, Brent was probably gonna take all his womens anyway… lol (that dude’s straight MAGIC)

==> Clue them in on what you’re thinking… or playfully thinking.

But, the kicker is this… I have a special way that I like doing it… and it’s a kinda fun, sneaky, and playful way to “let her in your mind”…

Watch.

Let’s say this is my text session:

Her: So how are you?

Me: Awesome. As usual.

Her: Are you planning on going out tonight?

Me: (I hope she’s not planning on getting me drunk)

Her: I am not!

So… did you see what I did?

If not, read it again…

.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay, so… the secret is to use parenthesis to denote a thought or an action.

Things like:

(note to self, keep away from this one)

(I think she wants me)

(I think I’m nervous now)

etc

The whole fun of it is to make it like she’s getting a peek into your mind… and you’re “flipping the script”… like you’re thinking that she’s chasing you.

This is VERY subtle communication at it’s best. And best of all, it’s playful FUN!

I also like using this when I want to denote an action that I’m taking like:

(sticks tongue out) ==> one of my favorites

(gives the finger)

So there you go.

Splatter these “thoughts” and “actions” into your text and IM game… and watch the results.

If you’re on myspace or facebook, it’s very similar to “SuperPoke”…

… you get the idea.

You see… I hear you guys out there bitching and moaning about how most of the “guru” products out there are horribly overpriced… or are just repackaged info that everyone talks about… or has already been talked about by said guru.

And NO, I’m not “guru bashing” by any means.

Let’s face it… that hurts you… my valued reader (and future customer… wink, wink) more than anything.

So here’s the deal.

My buddy Jae Ellis from Ask Romeo and his team have just released their flagship product… Dating and Attraction 101.

Now… I know Jae… we talk at least once per week… and I can tell you that the guy is SOLID… and only has YOUR best interests at heart…

… which says a lot apparently.

Anyway, here are a few videos to give you an idea of what they’ve got going on… if they resonate with you, go pick up their program (as it’s in a launch phase and you don’t want to miss out on the bonuses)

No hype… just solid content. Judge for yourself.

For more information, go check out:

===> Dating and Attraction 101

(Oh, and as always, if you ever have a problem with a product that I recommend… it happens… although VERY RARELY, let me know and I’ll take care of you)

I have to admit, sometimes when I’m out, the scenery just isn’t appealing to me… I just don’t see anyone that I really want to talk to.

Yet, I met a guy named “Big Dog” earlier in the night… a friend of a friend… and he started talking about how he wanted to meet a few women.

Naturally, I started laughing and asked him who he had in mind.

He pointed to a table of women and said “They’ll do”.

I laughed a bit and went to the bathroom.

When I came back, he comes up to me and says, “Hey man, I want you to introduce me to that girl right there”… as he pointed to a girl at the table that he had jestured to before.

“No problem”

So, they were sitting at the table and I grabbed a seat directly behind her… angled myself halfway in her direction.

I gently pinched her in the arm… she turned around… I smiled… she smiled… and I said…

“I have someone that I want to introduce you to… this is ‘Big Dog’”

He was standing about 4 feet away… a little shocked at my directness… but I swear the guy didn’t miss a beat.

He started chatting the girl up with incredible energy and before I know it he doesn’t ask her… HE TELLS HER:

“Hey, you’re pretty cool… we’re gonna hang out soon… give me your number”

And she did… with no hestitation whatsoever.

Inside, I was laughing because I knew what was going on… but to actually see someone else do some of the same things that I do is pretty funny.

Hell, continuing on with the last post… I’ve always found that a woman is attracted to a man that knows what he wants… and isn’t afraid to put his nuts on the line to go get it.

Oh, and before you go talking like “Big Dog” must be a hot guy… that wouldn’t work for me…

… you’d be horribly mistaken for thinking that.

Not that he’s overly bad looking… but he’s no Tom Cruise either.

Also, if you noticed… I didn’t use any crap lines to open the girl up either. I was direct… and said that I had someone that I wanted to introduce her to…

Nothing fancy…

I’m sure ‘old “Big Dog” thought that I was going to try to “smooth” my way in to a conversation… thus the reason that he was so shocked.

My motto: Just get in the door.

… and over all, I’d tend to agree.

But I’m about to blow the whistle on something that a lot of the “alpha male” enthusiasts out their might have some problems with.

And here’s why.

Bottom line: Cooler people use “cooler” words and phrases in their everyday conversations with people.

Naturally, I’m not saying that you have to be UP on all of the new, hip words and phrases… in fact… depending on your age… that would definitely be detrimental (that means bad) to your success.

So, before I start eating crow… and you start scurrying for the back button… let’s get your feet wet into something called…

From Wikipedia:

Colloquialisms denote a manner of speaking or writing that is characteristic of familiar “common” conversation; informal colloquialisms can include words (such as “y’all” or “gonna” or “wanna”), phrases (such as “ain’t nothin’”, “dressed for bear” and “dead as a doornail”), or sometimes even an entire aphorism (“There’s more than one way to skin a cat”).

The thing that works well with this type of speech… is that it tends to resonate with the person that you’re talking to much more than pure “formal” English.

It’s a version of turning words into pictures in someone’s head… using metaphors… and informality.

Some examples of phrases and metaphors that rule:

Skating on thin ice
Out of the woodwork
On the house
The straw that breaks the camel’s back
Toast (as in, “Your ass is toast!”)
Too much on my plate
Abandon ship
Ace in the whole
Bite the bullet
Caught with your hand in the cookie jar

As you read through those examples, chew on the fact that this mode of speech gets your point across in the wink of an eye… much faster… and with more EFFECT than saying a formalized version.

Which one gets to the point faster and with more effect?

Sally might lose her job because of her history of tardiness…

-or-

Sally’s really skating on thin ice because of her tardiness…

-or even-

Talk about someone skating on thin ice… Sally needs to work on getting to work.

But, we can take this even further for ourselves.

You see, a lot of the people that I know that are great communicators have a powerful way with metaphors… so much that they create THEIR OWN…

So they aren’t using the typical ones. They’re using one’s that you likely have never really heard of.

One that I use… is the “went 0 to 60″.

Remember, effective speech gets people to DO things based on the EMOTIONAL response that you’re triggering when you’re interacting with someone.

More tomorrow.

Pain… loneliness… guilt… unworthiness…

… these are some of the feelings that I had the last time I went through a breakup.

I think we all do.

So, I’m gonna switch gears a little bit today and talk about how to get your ex back.

I have to confess, I’ve made my mistakes in life and Lord knows I’ve put myself in some embarrassing situations in the past… done some things that I wished I hadn’t… said some things that weren’t too cool…

… basically, did things when pursuing an ex that made me FEEL WORSE about myself when they didn’t work out.

The sad thing:

I KNEW THAT THEY WEREN’T GOING TO WORK… but I did them anyway… because I was coming from a desperate and needy place that no man or woman should ever come from when dealing with an ex.

And you can judge me if you want… but I’ve learned some very powerful lessons from these experiences… and I’ve YET to make these mistakes again.

I’m about to give you a roadmap… a checklist of things to do to get your ex back (or figure out that it’s not even worth it).

(As an aside, I just picked up a masterful piece of work called “The Magic Of Making Up” the other day that goes into this process with a fine tooth comb. What I’m going over is just the tip of the iceberg… stuff from my own experiences. If you’re in this position right now, picking this book up will be like getting a new lease on life. Dead serious.)

Let’s face it. Sometimes we break up over petty things.

Sometimes they are a little more serious.

Regardless of the situations, we can generally boil it down to one thing per sex:

1. For men, the problems arise when they don’t feel “admired” by their woman
2. For women, the problems arise when they don’t feel “appreciated” by their man

These are the number one reasons that men and women leave… the root cause on average.

No matter if you cheated, or were cheated on… or whatever… the likely cause of your current distress revolved around one of these two symptoms.

Trust is generally a cop out.

If you set down and honestly think about it… you can see that it’s likely true in your scenario too.

So here we are… alone… distraught… possibly thinking of suicide… fighting off thoughts of that person being with someone else…

… and we want them back.

First things first.

Get out a calendar.

Go buy one if need be.

You need a 30 day “cooling off” period… you really do.

Trust me on this one.

So what you’re gonna do is take that calendar and circle a day 30 days from today… here is the day that you give yourself permission to contact your ex.

This calendar is important. Do not neglect it.

You see, by having this visual goal in front of you… you now have the power of marking off days… while building momentum and getting your ducks in a row… without falling through the cracks of neediness and desperation.

If history has taught me anything… it’s that people need this time to be able to objectively look at things… and to create mystique and curiosity in the other party… IT IS A MISTAKE TO UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THIS!

So what do you do during this time.

It’s simple.

We work on ourselves…

… but NOT for that other person… for US.

You see, for one thing, people that you’ve have been in a relationship with have a certain “pattern” that they’re used to when it comes to you.

Maybe it’s a pattern of being overweight…

… bad hair…

… no ambition…

… you get the picture

We have to break that pattern.

We have a pattern. See this person…bad feelings well up. There may be some good too. Overall though the balance has tipped to the negative. What we need to do is BREAK THE PATTERN.

There are literally dozens of ways to look, smell and even sound different. So that when we contact and meet our ex again he/she does not run the same pattern and “bad linked feelings” as when the relationship failed.

Read that quote again.

Done, okay.

Seriously, the confidence and self worth that arise from bettering yourself keeps you from getting the raw end of the deal when it comes to interacting with your ex later.

So work on yourself.

Oh… and on another note… STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL as much as possible during this time. Studies show that if you try to drink your problems away… you ACTUALLY seed the problems farther into your psyche… and make it much harder to recover.

Do you need a “life check”?

Think about this for a second…

This is the truth: You will not die without your ex. If he was your whole life, then you need to improve your life first. You can find plenty of perfectly good people if you put yourself out there.

I’m actually getting these quotes from “The Magic Of Making Up“… but I would have told you the exact same thing.

You need to have your own life…

Making someone else the king/queen… your everything in life is not healthy… plus… they start to take you for granted.

Okay, now we’re in our 30 day “grace period” where we refrain from talking to the ex… but the FEELINGS of loneliness and despair keep rearing their ugly heads.

What do we do?

We’ll there’s a pretty cool technique that TW goes over in his book called the “Fast Forward Technique“…

I’ve seen it used in other situations and teachings and can say it works wonders.

This is a must learn for those that are having a really tough time of it.

(Are you marking your days off yet?)

I apologize… I just looked at the clock and I’ve got to cut this a little short because I’ve got a teleseminar to do… but let me tell you about some of the things that WORK when trying to get back your ex (post 30 days)

Curiosity and Intrigue
Time Distortion Techniques
Plausible Deniablity
Sleeping with her as soon as possible (men)
Not sleeping with him (women)
The Instant Reconciliation
Emotionally Elevated Experience Bonding
Instant Reconnect Techniques
The Clean Slate Method for apologizing (VERY POWERFUL)

Actually, let me talk about the “apology” for a second… there’s an interesting story that you should read:

An Eddie Bauer store that wrongly accused a black teenager, Alonzo Jackson, of shoplifting a shirt he had purchased the day before had to pony up $85 million in a lawsuit.

His dad said that an apology would have sufficed.

Eddie Bauer did make a weak public apology. But, they never apologized privately to Alonzo or his father.

Sometimes you have to put your ego in check and get vulnerable…

Other things of use to note:

The Monkey’s Fist
Mind Judo

I could go on and on and write a book on my experiences with this. I seriously could.

But I’ve found one that effectively summarizes what I went through… and what you’re likely going through…

… one that provides a roadmap to success in getting back with your ex…

… if it’s in the cards… or not…

… it WASN’T for me…

… and I’m much better because of it.

Will you be?

Or is your ex your soulmate… but the stars and planets just haven’t been aligned.

Go pick up The Magic Of Making Up” and find out.

No matter the outcome… if you follow the plan thats provided… IF… then it’s money well spent.

And you can take that to the bank.

I’m out.

Doo Doo.

Shit.

Crap.

Pound for pound, all of these words mean the exact same thing.

Excretement.

However, what FEELINGS do you get when you say each one of them. Don’t some sound worse than others.

Don’t some sound a little more “child like”?

You see, certain words have the high octane power to laser in on a particular emotion… if used correctly.

How about this?

I took my car to a place about 5 years ago because it needed a new alternator. Now, our “villain” (the car guy), did his routine and checked all of my fluids, pressures, etc during the replacement process of the alternator of my car.

I get a call early the next morning:

“Mr. Howard, did you know that your transmission fluid was CONTAMINATED?”

“What? What does that mean?”

“It means that there’s all sorts of GRIME and SLUDGE in there… do you want
us to change it out for you?”

“Uh… sure.”

Now, if our gentleman had called and said that he thought that my trans fluid
was dirty… or even OVERDuE… I probably would have let it slide.

(Cause you let things slide when money’s tight… lol)

But he didn’t.

He used “contaminated”.

And I have to confess, it put me in a whole different mindset… and he made out like a bandit in the process.

Here’s one that guys use…

“Let’s go on a date.”

or

“Let’s hang out.”

Potentially, they mean the exact same thing. However, one has a more low key feel and one has more pressure built in… like a decision has to be made at the end.

Here’s a quick rule of thumb, when given the choice between using two or more different words or phrases express something… use the one that lasers in on the particular FEELING that you want the other person to have.

It’s not about SIMPLIFYING or dumbing down your speech… although you don’t want to talk over people’s heads… because then no one wins and you look like a pompous bastard…

… no… it’s about communicating EFFICIENTLY and EFFECTIVELY… in order to illicit the response that you are looking for.

Oh, and as an extra… when you get the right words in place… you don’t have to worry about “SELLING” what you’re saying as much.

Think about it.

When the guy told me that my fluid was contaminated… I think that just about any tone would have gotten the point across, and in fact, if he had OVER SOLD the fact, instead of saying it in a “by the way” type tone, it might have LOST it’s effect.

So let’s play a game:

Let’s look at some words and phrases that you can substitute:

For blowjob, or dick suck, or lick my cock… you could call it a “mouth hug”…

Hell, women LOVE hugs… who wouldn’t give you a mouth hug. (credit: Ron White)

For kiss, or give me a kiss, or can I get a kiss…

How about “some affection” or “give me some affection there”

If you want to be playful about sex… or talking about sex:

Instead of “If you keep lickng my ear like that, I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you…”

… which might put you on the short end of the stick…

Say something like “If you keep licking my ear, we’re gonna be bumming monkeys in like… 30 seconds.”

If you want to express how fast a place filled up… instead of saying…

“Man, this place just got PACKED.”

You could say…

“Man, this place just went ZERO TO SIXTY in no time”

The difference here is that “0-to-60″ quickly tells a story (ie, it went from nothing to something very quickly) to which someone can relate to.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

In the next few days, I’ll flesh this out a little more and give you a few more phrases and words for you to try to substitute into your vocabulary to keep you from scraping the bottom of the barrel with women.

Once you can effectively hone in on the words and phrases that laser in on emotion, building rapport is like stealing candy from a baby.

The key to great relationships is definitely communication… BUT… communication doesn’t necessarily have to been you talking.

Why do I say this?

Well, in the beginning, when a person begins to feel that certain “buzzing” feeling in their gut when they are around a certain person… we all have this overpowering urge that says:

“I HAVE TO TELL THIS PERSON HOW I FEEL!”

Well, Paco, if you want to see the “love” of your life run for the hills faster than you can say “jackrabbit”… you go ahead and do that…

If you tell someone how you feel too soon, you ruin the tension that’s making it go.

That person knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have you… there’s no challenge anymore. And, you’ve inherently, cut “the chase” off.

So, before you go professing your “love” prematurely… hold off.

In fact, if someone asks you how you feel… say something like…

“I can’t believe you have to ask me that… you should be able to SEE how I feel”

…which is true.

Given a choice, show that person how you feel… not by showering with gifts or presents… but by being the “fun person” that you are.

Don’t kill the wonder… don’t kill the tension… don’t kill your chance… by opening your big mouth too soon.

Remember, mystery and intrigue are your friend.

Knowing how to approach women is a vital skill every man needs to know, because approaching women is the first step in creating a relationship with the girl of your dreams…

The way you approach a girl can make or break the rest of your pickup. Here are some tips for approaching women that will help ensure your success!

Remember a situation where you were going to approach a girl, and before you could even get a single word out, she freaked out and simply rejected you?

Know this – getting shot down has little to do with what you were going to say or what your intentions were. It’s all about how you go about actually approaching your target. It’s important to do this right the first time, because it’s hard to recover when you make a mistake right off the bat.

The most important thing to remember when approaching women is to come off as NON-THREATENING and to not, under any circumstances, telegraph your interest in them too early.

This is known as “coming in under the radar.”

Understand: Most women have trained themselves to just REJECT men outright when they sense they are being picked up on.

Most men don’t realize how annoying it can be for women to constantly be approached by guys who run the gamut from big time loser to big time creep. Because of this, women just don’t want to deal with yet “another pick-up attempt.”

Approaching women can be both easy AND fun when you know how to do it RIGHT.

So what’s the right way to approach a woman?

First – YOU MUST ACT FAST.

Waiting too long before you approach a woman will give you a chance to talk yourself out of meeting her. You need to overcome your fear and approach quickly when the opportunity presents itself.

Another tip – know what to say BEFORE you approach a woman! Meeting women becomes so much easier when you don’t have to waste time thinking of what to say to her to start a conversation.

So having a good pick-up line in your hip pocket to use in these situations is probably a good idea.

But I’m not talking about the “Hey, nice shoes, want to have sex?” type line. The point is to be NON-THREATENING, remember?

A good pick up line is something that will start an innocent conversation with the girl you’re approaching. Examples of a good line would be to ask her opinion on something and then continue the conversation by asking more questions about her opinion.

When approaching a woman, it’s important that you approach her from an ANGLE. Most guys charge towards the girl they want to meet like they’re marching to war! Coming in at an angle is much less confrontational and will put the girl at ease on a subconscious level.

The simple fact is – great pick-ups can only occur when the girl you are talking to feels comfortable with you! That’s why you need to feel comfortable talking to the girl.

It’s natural to feel uncomfortable meeting attractive women, but remember – practice makes perfect! If you take the time to go out and practice meeting women, over time it will become easier and you’ll be more comfortable with doing it.

The sad fact is, you’re not going to get good at approaching women if all you do is sit around reading about it and studying it like a test. If you want to get good and have success, you actually have to go out and DO IT so you can build your experience level. (The good news – it gets easier the more you do it!)

If you’re worried about being rejected, just look at it as a game. The ONLY thing you’re doing is approaching women. You’re not asking her out, you’re not trying to get her into bed, your only goal is to carry on some type of conversation.

That’s all!

See how many girls you can talk to in one night, and keep trying to beat your score.

One last note – try and use a “time constraint” whenever you approach a woman. This is as easy as saying you can only talk for a minute before you have to run.

You want to do this because if she feels this approach is just a “momentary” distraction, and you’re not trying to “impose” yourself on her, she’ll be more willing to engage you in your approach.

The beauty of this is that if the conversation picks up and is going well, she’ll forget that you used a time constraint, and you can actually talk to her as long as you want. Using a good time constraint is just a way to make the approach easier in the beginning.

In the world of dating, it all boils down to a numbers game. The more women you meet, the better your chances of finding your soul mate.

Get Joseph Matthew’s complimentary How To Meet Women newsletter and supercharge your success with women today. Nowhere else will you find better, more powerful methods on approaching women that are proven to work for any man.

—-

Hmmm… with all of the hub hub going around lately, does anyone think that this stuff still doesn’t apply?

Thoughts?

Okay, now I know that seems a little off base… but here’s the deal.

We ain’t saving the whales here, boys.

Stop making such a big deal about something so INSIGNIFICANT.

Going back to yesterday, you’ll remember that I said that approach anxiety stems from two things:

Anticipation of a “bad” or “worse” case scenario result.
A perceived status gap.

In other words, you don’t want to feel stupid.

But… think about it this way. Even if there IS a status gap, she’s not going to know unless you TELL her. And, even if there is a status gap and SHE KNOWS it… women have a knack of trying to raise the status of COOL people.

Ever have a female friend try to “hook” you up with someone… status raise.
Ever have a female friend try to CONSTRUCTIVELY help you out with your “look”… status raise.

Here is my worst case scenario that I personally think of everytime I meet a woman… no matter how hot.

At least if I see her around again, I’ll be able to say ‘hi’ and have a little conversation… which ups my social proof… increases my ‘net social worth’… and makes me feel good.

Is that so bad?

Hell no.

Truth is, if you relax and have a light but fun conversation women will RARELY… and I MEAN RARELY just blow you off.

Frankly, about 30% of women are just plain outgoing and flirty… and can really help you carry a conversation.

(These people are usually “hubs”… people that know people… and you SHOULD make it a point to get to know them regardless… as I explain in “Explode Your Influence“)

Also, you should know that most women really DO want to talk to someone in most situations… even IF they are with other guys.

I can tell you with 100% accuracy that women (of all ages) are out on the prowl… looking for cool guys to hang with. I’ve heard it time and time again.

They wonder where all the good guys are.

They SAY these things… and they mean them.

I just thought of something… a little story if you will that relates a bit. Women, I know you’re reading this… just remember that your friends are RUINING it for you.

Here’s why.

I remember a year or two back, I was hanging out with a buddy of mine that is no slouch when it comes to the ladies…

He’s got that “knack”.

Anyway, we’re sitting there in this little ‘block party’ type situation when he looks over to me and tells me about the group of five women that are beyond of shadow of a doubt… going to talk to us within 15 minutes…

His radar is pretty good… did I mention that?

Such enough, one of the women saunters over and begins a conversation. Now, she was cute… but not overly special (I know, that sounds superficial as hell, but it’s my story damnit) and my friend really didn’t want to talk to her.

She was inviting us to hang with them at another bar… and my friend politely declined the invite.

When she walked away… I told him… “You’re a dumbass”

“Why, she just wasn’t my type… and neither were her friends…”

“That’s not the point. Number one, it’s just me and you scratching our nuts right now and we had a cool opp to hang out with some people that we don’t know… 5 cute girls in fact… and you decline.

“Number two. All women have hot friends. Who’s to say that they weren’t meeting up with more people.”

“Number three. Two guys… 5 girls… one place… everyone there is going to wonder who we are and why these 5 women chose to hang out with us (because even though WE know better, conventional wisdom still says that women do the choosing) and we’ve already got a leg up in the competition category for other women… other women can already ASSUME that we aren’t stalkers… and people can watch us truly interact with others, and since we ALWAYS have a good time and start harmless trouble… who WOULDN’T want to meet us.”

“And Number four… the most important. Did you SEE the way that the WHOLE GROUP was looking at us? She was just the spokesperson. Did it ever cross your mind that it could have ended up being a 2 on 5 afterparty later on after we go to the Waffle House (wink)?”

Then he laughed and said:

“You’re right. I’m a dumbass”

So, as an aside (and I know that I’m rambling a bit today), I never blow off a woman when she comes to talk to me.

I treat her the way I’d like to be treated.

I can’t tell you how many times a so-so woman has come up to talk… and within 10 minutes, her HOT friend comes up to join the conversation.

It happens a lot, when you know how to have a good time.

Think about this. Most of the time, you kinda have to ‘make do’ with the environment that you’re in:

Work
School
Neighborhood
Bar

If you practice having fun… no matter the situation… it will help you with approach anxiety, and talking to strange people in general.

So talk to the woman that’s not your type. Who cares. Don’t judge the situation until AFTER it unfolds…

You might surprise yourself.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you MY personal problem with women… I think you’ll want to see this.

Anyway, from what I’ve found in my own personal and business life, approach anxiety stems from two things:

Number One – Assuming an absolute “worst case” negative outcome based on a situation that you’ve experienced that is in the “minority” of how things normally go.

Number Two – A status gap… or an “assumed” status gap.

If you’ll notice, both of these are based on flawed assumptions that you make about another person.

I say flawed because you don’t have enough information most of the time to really put together a valid, rational, picture of what the other person “wants” out of a particular interaction.

Let me say it again… you don’t have enough information to make EITHER of these assumptions.

Also, let’s look at number two for a second.

Most guys assume that the woman has a higher status than she really does… especially if she’s good looking.

Men immediately fall for the “halo effect” that these women portray and ASSUME that she’s the shit… if you know where I’m going with this.

(If you DON’T KNOW what the “halo” and “devil” effects are, just google the terms or search the blog… they are VERY IMPORTANT to know… yet no one talks about them.)

So, not only are you inflating her perceived worth… you’re also DEFLATING your own by definition in the process.

And the perceived status gap increases… making it EVEN HARDER for you to approach.

Here’s an idea for you… and I think that it will help you dramatically.

You see, since you REALLY don’t know about the status of another person… and you really don’t know anything about them other than the image that they portray…

… lets let our curiosity take over.

“I hope you don’t suck”

You’ll hear people talk about prizability… or you being the choser… or whatever…

But, for some people, I think that this may be a little too far of a jump right off the bat, especially if you’re a guy that’s having some self confidence problems… which we all have had.

So, instead of worrying about some of this stuff… just let your curiosity take control.

Seriously, think to yourself: “That person looks put together… I hope it’s all not an act.”

Or

“Man, I hope she doesn’t suck”

… and go find out

Look, in my VAST experience (ha, ha), I’ve found that hot women are just like regular women. Many of them have no conversation skills and get nervous talking to men.

Others just suck… and have weird motives.

Some, you just won’t click with at all and it’s not your fault. It’s hers because she sucks.

I don’t want make it all complicated by saying:

“You need to qualify her”

But it’s much easier if you’re playing detective and trying to find out if someone is really cool… versus trying to PROVE yourself to them… especially if you don’t even know if they are worth it…

You do this. And you automatically close any status gap… and actually make a gap in your favor.

This simple mind “trick” will work wonders. Try it, you’ll see…

Part Two Tomorrow…

Now, most guys tend to think in terms of “why doesn’t she like me” or “what should I do to GET the girl to like me”… both or which are counterintuitive to how things work.

Here are 5 key points to what I know about attracting women like flies to honey:

1. Attraction is a gift from her to you. You can’t TAKE attraction and it’s really tough to force… but you can GUIDE it. Forcing your will on an interaction causes neediness and a WIN/LOSE mentality… which again… does the exact opposite of what you want.

2. Stop worrying about how to “get” her, and start thinking of ways that you can help her find some fun, danger, excitement in her life. If you can give her these type of experiences she’ll have no choice but to want to be around you… because something exciting always happens.

3. Start viewing your interactions from the aspect that YOU’RE the one trying to find out if SHE is worth YOUR TIME… instead of already handing your worth over to her without even finding out if she’s worth the effort. Trust me, I don’t care how hot she is… some women are boring and just plain suck.

4. PULL her into your life. Be on the go and ask her to join you. Things like “I’m going to dinner at (whatever), why don’t you join me?” are MUCH more effective than saying, “So, do you want to do something tonight?” This implies that YOUR LIFE depends on her. I’ll say it time and time again, women like to go for the ride… not BE the ride. (Remember, she has to brag to her friends about SOMETHING.)

5. Flirt SHAMELESSLY and SMILE, you bastards Flirt with the grandmother that’s all dressed up for a night on the town. Flirt with the little 7 year old cutie that’s hanging out in the mall with Mom. Flirt with people in the elevator. Remember, flirting ISN’T overly HITTING on women… it’s playful comments, banter, “Look at you… where are you off to today? (smile)”, “Do you want to ditch your Mom and hang out with me today? (smile)”… it’s having a good time with people and giving off a good, solid vibe that says “I’m fun, I’m secure, I’m ballsy, and I know how to play the game”.

Look, out of all of these, number 5 is the one that I find that if people would just DO THIS ONE THING MORE… they would TRIPLE or QUADRUPLE their success.

Seriously.

Think about this… if you’re in a store and a hot woman sees you flirting with a grandmother, the cashier, or a little girl… don’t you think she’ll want to flirt with you too?

Absolutely. You’ve already presold her on the fact that you’re a pretty good dude (see Halo Effect). Plus, if you DON’T flirt with her, she’ll wonder why you didn’t… follow me.

Your homework: Practice smiling at EVERY single person you pass or interact with and watch the results.

Guess what. MOST PEOPLE SMILE BACK!

… and then you can ask her in a flirty way:

“So, what are YOU smiling about?”

In just about every conversation, there’s gonna be a point where someone does something a little questionable.

Maybe it’s a weird gesture… maybe someone fumbles their words… whatever.

This is a fun way to bust on a woman that almost GUARANTEES that she’ll hit you in the shoulder or give you some other type of “love tap”.

The phrase is:

“How’d that go again?”

I use this ALL THE TIME. If someone makes a funny noise while they’re talking, or stumbles, or whatever.

Most of the time, people just let these little things slide. Hell, most of the time, your target didn’t really pay much attention to what they just said… especially if they’re in a story.

So you call them out with a “How’d that go again?”

Only THEN does the person realize how crazy this noise, or hand gesture, or whatever was and everyone gets a good laugh.

Woman: “So I was driving down the road today and this SOB cut me off right when I was supposed to turn… so I gave him the finger (gives finger and makes funny face… teeth gritted… etc… and grunts)…”

You: “Okay, now how’d that go again?”

Now, she’ll either hit you… or laugh… or even try to do it again in good sport.

Any way you go about it, it’s good for you.

So there you go… an easy way for you to call out a woman tonight and have more fun.

We can talk about the underlying meaning behind this another time. For now, just take my word on it. It’s a money move.

Alright people… quit emailing me!

I’m back… with a lot to talk about.

I’m tired of typing so much so I’m not just going to record video and go from there.

Check this one out as I talk about starting EASY social conversations… with PROOF.

More later this week.

How to tell stories to create intrigue?

In this installment, let’s talk about a phenomenon I call “Power Answers”…

You see, it’s no secret that one of the 6 Constructs of Influence is “Authority”.

People are influenced by authority in every sense of the word. Authority, power… they are somewhat interchangeable.

So here’s the deal… lots of times, you’ll hear advice being given out about what to say when a woman or man asks you a question… and most of it revolves around being aloof and challenging the person somehow around the presupposition that the person asking the question should be able to “think of a better question than that”.

A mouthfull: I know.

But, do people really LISTEN and ANSWER the question that’s asked?

Or do they answer the question with what the other person wants to hear.

An example: “What do you do for a living?”

Most responses go like this “I AM a doctor, an employee at a tech company, a computer programmer.

If you notice, when you answer the question like this… you’re not really answering the question, you’re answering another question entirely.

If she asks you “What are you?”… then the above would be the correct response… but she didn’t… she asked “What do you DO for a living?” and you made a huge assumption about what she was really after.

Let’s look what happens when you answer the question that’s ACTUALLY posed.

If it’s me, perhaps I’d say this:

“Ah, that’s a very interesting question. I help people just like yourself in all sorts of manners in fitness, dating, and life by publishing both free and paid information. You have internet access don’t you?

Her: Of course.

Me: If you were to go online right now and type in an address that I’ll give you later, that’s just one example of nine projects that I have out there that helps people on a daily basis.

Notice I didn’t say that I’m an “entrepreneur”, nor did I say I am in “information publishing”.

I told her EXACTLY what I do in a way that pulls her into MY WORLD.

How many questions do you think she’s gonna ask afterward? In my experience, she’ll start to open YOU up more by becoming more curious about how it is that what you do works?

Maybe she’ll ask about my projects, maybe she’ll try to make a joke about the fitness or dating thing like “Oh, so are you like that (whoever) on TV?” (which means she is intrigued a bit)… and playful banter insues

And, if you have a PASSION for what you do… she’ll be able to FEEL it.

(In case you missed that: PASSION is a GOOD THING)

Don’t avoid questions by trying to side step her. Just frame your answers in the form of Power Answers to keep intrigue and keep the conversation flowing.

Oh, and another thing, you can also follow up her question with the same question of your own.

You say, “Okay, enough about me, what do YOU do for a living?”

And she’s gonna say “I’m a accountant, waitress, whatever”

Then you can playfully bust her balls about how she didn’t answer the right question, about how you didn’t ask what she WAS or where she WORKED, but instead, you asked what she DID.

Which obviously frames you in more of an authoritative way… because now you are “teaching” a bit.

So sit down for a minute and right down all of the most common questions that you get on a day to day basis… look at them closely… and create a Power Answer that accurately describes the situation and displays your authority in the same token.

Remember this, powerful communicators have authority… period.

I almost forgot… have you even heard of someone being easy to talk to.

Of course you have.

The key to being easy to talk to resides in the answers to the questions that you provide. If your answers don’t provide “hook” points that people can take off on other tangents, then lots of times, the conversation just dries up.

Be aware that MOST PEOPLE are not effective communicators and they need for you to provide them “bait”… so to say… so that they can keep up.

That brings me back to the being aloof and nonchalant about “qualifying questions”. While you’re giving her a hard time about not asking a better question, have you ever thought that MAYBE, she’s nervous and doesn’t have ANY OTHER QUESTIONS to ask.

Especially the “what do you do” question. It’s a “default” question, not necessarily a “qualifying question”.

So demonstrate your prowess and answer with THUNDER.

And paint effective and visual pictures with your Power Answers.

Read her ad… but then read the response one gentleman sent to her about the “trade off” between money and looks… appreciating assets versus depreciating assets…

I guarantee that you’ll never look at another hot woman in awe again.

Do you want to know his secret?

He makes bets with women that he knows he’ll win… and the price that gets paid when he wins is a flash.

It’s funny as hell to watch… because he almost always wins. Plus, he’s so funny about it that the women flash him just to watch his reaction because he says some pretty funny shit when it happens.

Did I mention that this guy doesn’t do too bad with the ladies?

Of course, he does well… he makes them laugh.

He has his way about himself that makes this work… it’s almost like a little kid making the bet… so the women oblige most of the time.

Usually, he tries to guess their bra size… like a State fair game or something.

I don’t know why I was thinking of this today but it just goes to show that almost ANYTHING can work… if you’ve got your presentation down…

Basically, here’s the deal…

Most people are on autopilot in their interactions with people… I mean… think about it.

How many times do you ask someone “How are you today?”… and they return with “fine”…

It’s tough to keep any type of conversation going when you reach a stopping point like this… and this is definitely a “stop” point. You have to change the subject just to continue on with everything… there are no smooth transitions.

So, instead of saying “fine” or “okay” or any of the other “canned” responses…

… switch it up a bit and go for the gusto… go for a little shock value and “spook” people off of autopilot.

Get them to pay attention to you instead of “glossing” over your interaction.

Here’s an example I use a lot:

Maybe I’ll ask someone a safe question like “How are you today?”… and of course… they always respond with “Fine, how about yourself?”

… and I’ll usually say something like… “Pretty shitty, actually”… or “Incredible, you won’t believe what just happened (and then go into storytelling mode, which is always fun).

If I use the “pretty shitty” comment… I’ll usually respond with “I’m kidding (with a wink of course)” when their face turns to shock or if they ask why.

Then… and this is pretty cool… I’ll tell them EXACTLY why I told them “pretty shitty”… because I like seeing people’s reactions to the comment… plus the fact that I think that everyone is on “courteous autopilot”.

This usually starts a pretty good conversation where I can lace in a few stories about a few other people that I’ve done it to… and usually challenge the woman to give it a try herself and see the response.

Plus, this gives her a reason to “get back to me”…

Plus, you’re in “teacher” mode… which women get attracted to pretty quickly… it’s a power thing.

On the other hand… if I go with the “incredible” response… I can usually create a pretty funny story on the fly about how I’ve been laughing my ass off at something.

These are REALLY easy ways to start conversations and the shock value itself definitely frames you as someone fun and IMPORTANT to listen to… not just some average Joe…

Give it a try and tell me what you think… you know my email address.

It’s Friday… the weekend is upon us…

What are you going to be doing later tonight? Are you gonna jump in the game… or sit on the side lines.

Let me tell you a little story…

Last night, I went out with a buddy of mine. Now, this guy just likes to talk and I figured I’d watch him for a while just to see what type of skills that he has.

He’s not afraid to talk to ANYONE.

So, he rolls up on this one girl… smokin’ body…

… personal trainer… with a finance.

The kid talked to her off and on all night… dipping in… removing himself… dipping in… removing himself…

Notice, that I said HE removed HIMSELF… she never walked away from him…

This is important.

Because of this… he was able to dial up curiosity… which is ALWAYS a good thing.

Would you believe that she’s “training” him today?

(Oh, he’s a personal trainer as well… so she’s not trying to develop a new client)

Now, I don’t really condone going after women that are engaged… but… to each his own.

Look, audacity beats everything.

Only the bold get to go home and nail the prom queen.

If you’ve been reading the blog for any length of time, you’ll know that I tell you time and time again that most women will be open to AT LEAST a few words to see what you’re all about.

So get talking.

Don’t forget about the Dating Black Book expose going on as well.

If you want to read up before the big night… it’s a great place to start.

Have fun tonight… don’t let me down.

Has this ever happened to you?

You go out with some buddies for a night on the town, hoping to meet a girl to have some fun with. You head to a bar, get a booth, and order drinks. The place is kickin’, and you and your buddies are having a good time looking at all the pretty girls… except nobody is meeting any them. You want to talk to them, but you feel more comfortable sitting around with your friends talking about how you would like to go home with a girl that night. Instead, you all end up leaving the same way you came in – together.

This is a pretty common occurrence among the lovelorn bachelor. This is a symptom of what I like to call the “comfort zone.”

Basically, everyone has a comfort zone. This is a state of mind where people are surrounded by that which is FAMILIAR. Familiarity breeds complacency, which can keep you from taking the action necessary to achieve your goals, because that action introduces uncertainty into your life – something the comfort zone likes to keep at bay.

So when you want to meet a woman, you need to know how to break out of this comfort zone. How do you do this?

The answer is self-evident: You must learn to meet women BY YOURSELF!

Friends can be a great asset, but most of the time, going out with friends actually HINDERS your ability to meet women. Not just because of the comfort zone factor, but because other guys who don’t know what they’re doing with girls can actually ruin the interactions you have with them – be it by jealousy or ineptitude. So the best way to counter this is to LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND.

But the prospect of going out by oneself can strike fear into the hearts of men. After all, doesn’t going out by yourself signal to
everyone that you’re a loser with no friends? Doesn’t it make you look creepy?

The answer to both these questions is:

NO!!!!!

The simple act of going out on your own can shake your comfort zone, because you have no anchors to keep you there. Often your friends will act as an anchor to your comfort zone that keep you from approaching women. And it is easier to break out of this comfort zone without those anchors present. Plus, you don’t have to worry about failing with women and being judged by your friends if they’re not around.

But the most powerful thing about going out by yourself is that it puts your focus on what you are doing. This means that every interaction you have is without distraction, so it is more easily examined and the problems you had are more easily identified. This allows you to spot your sticking points more quickly and correct them.

Not only that, but being out by yourself gives you the freedom of flexibility when it comes to where you’re going and who you talk to. If you’re bored with a place, you can leave and go to another one. If you want to talk to a girl who your friends might poke fun at you for, you can. Not only this, but you’re free to mess up the interactions you have, because chances are, no one there will ever see you again, so you don’t have to worry about what others think of you.

But like all things, knowing what to say will help you to go out by yourself and succeed at increasing your ability to approach. There are many examples of Openers to say in my book The Art of Approaching, but some guys will need to know how to handle the inevitable question “Where are your friends?”

Something I’ve used to great effect is the answer “Oh, they’re around.” This simple dismissive statement not only answers the question, but as far as anyone knows, you’re telling the truth.

But if you want to take it a step further, I’ve even used this as an Opener at times I’ve been out by myself.

The “My Friends Ditched Me” Opener

This works good whenever you’re out somewhere by yourself. Basically, you approach your target or a group, and say:

“Hey guys, you won’t believe this. All week, me and my friends have been planning on going out and having a good time, because we’ve all been busy and we wanted to blow off some steam. So we made plans to go out tonight, right? Well, one by one they call me up and say stuff like “I’m too tired,” or “My girlfriend wants to watch a movie,” and stuff like that. Some friends huh? Bunch of lame-o’s. But I’m thinking there might be something more to this, because last week two of my friends had a knock-down drag out fight over some girl they both like, so the situation is all weird. Do you guys have any friends who got split up by someone they both liked?”

Using this, you set the stage that you’re out by yourself because, well, unlike your friends, YOU’RE not lame! Not only that, you throw in a nice Drama Opener in there to engage the group.

And if you’re still too shy to go out by yourself, then try this little trick:

When you go out with your friends — DITCH THEM. Go off on your own and leave them behind for a while, then meet up with them later. This can be quite an effective method if your friends don’t mind you leaving!

If you don’t know what a Drama Opener is, check it out in my book The Art of Approaching. It’s got TONS of openers and other things to say so that you never have to worry about how you’re going to meet women again. If you’re one of those guys who gets tounge-tied around beautiful girls, or if your mind likes to “blank” out on you, then you definitely need to check out my book right now by clicking below:

http://www.artofapproaching.com

Once you learn the secrets I unleash in my book, you’ll know how to meet any woman, any time, anywhere you may be — whether you’re alone or not!

To your success!

Thundercat

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Make sure to check out my in depth Art Of Approaching Review

If you’ll notice before… I believe in brutal honesty and telling women where they are… and not leading people on that you REALLY don’t want to be with…

But, this is something totally different. Not only does it create interesting conversation, but it also presents you as more of a challenge… and as someone that is fun.

I use obvious lies on questions like:

“Are you a player?”
“What do you do?”
“Where do you work?”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Are you dating anyone?”
“How many people have you slept with?”
“Etc.”

Why should you come out and tell the truth on these questions when you know that she’s only asking them to QUALIFY you. Instead, use the obvious lie to let her know that you AREN’T going to be qualified and IN FACT, by her trying to qualify you in… you might just be qualifying her OUT…

Think about that for a moment.

The game of dating and relationships is typically about power… and the exchange of power.

Most women want to be with a man that’s secure and confident in himself… a person that doesn’t have to PROVE himself to anyone but himself…

… so why should he have to PROVE himself to her.

It’s one of those little “tests” that women throw out unconsciously to see if a man really IS that confident in himself… or if it’s just a game.

So, the next time a woman asks you a QUALIFYING question… use the “obvious” lie to let her know the deal…