Category: 
Confessions — Take One
(Oh, and remind me to tell you how my foot ended up in my mouth with a mistake with one of the cardinal rules of rapport)
I’ve wanted to do this little “column” for a while now… and the perfect opportunity came my way during an initial conversation with a woman about her friend. Apparently, the friend was having a problem attracting and dating “the wrong men”.
And, after a bit of a conversation, we discussed how I could possibly help out… like I’ve helped out countless others in my day.
Needless to say, I set up a small “interview” session so that I could really find out how these women ticked.
Let’s cut to the chase… do you know what these two women REALLY wanted out of a man?
It wasn’t money…
No it was PASSION.
A passion for life… a passion for what they do… a true reason to live.
They had both dated men that had no life… no future… no passion… no accountability.
And they both hated it.
Remember, these women are EXTREMELY good looking.
Do you know what else NEVER came up?
LOOKS!
Sure, clothes and style came up… but that was secondary to PASSION. But how a guy physically LOOKED never was even mentioned… not once.
No… has to be 6 foot tall… no… has to have big muscles or an athletic build.
Not a single one of these characteristics came across the table… and believe me… I baited them to talk about it.
I have a sneaky feeling that I am going to run into this same scenario time and time again. Women like men that have direction in their life. You don’t necessarily HAVE TO BE THERE YET… but you do have to be on the way. Have some passion about you… have a real GOAL and reason to live… and people will gravitate towards you.
Oh, and the blunder of blunders from me…
My one friend, S, that I had met before threw me off guard by asking me how I would help her friend (M)… completely out of the blue. Hell, I thought that we were going to casually bring it up in the conversation and be nonchalant about it… like it was a “secret”.
Couple that with the lightheaded feeling that I had had the last few days due to lack of sleep (I told you I’ve got some good stuff coming) and I was bound to put my foot in my mouth…
And I did 
I replied back to S, “Well, she’s not exactly heinous… so I’m sure I can”… which, what I meant in my fuzzy minded state was that I found her attractive, and that it wouldn’t be a problem.
But the friend, M, thought that I was saying that SHE WAS UGLY, ha, ha.
And I had no idea… I didn’t even pick up on it.
Let’s just say that there was a weirdness throughout the rest of the night that I just couldn’t figure out… couldn’t explain. Afterward, when I found out what it was… I knew that I had broken a cardinal rule of rapport…
Don’t engage in certain comments and jokes (looks based) until you’ve created enough rapport with someone that she knows that you’re only playing around… and are making lighthearted banter.
Naturally, there will be those that say that she had no sense of humor… and that I shouldn’t worry about it… and they’d be wrong. You see, your role as a great conversationalist is to be able to find the things to talk about that carry the conversation further.
Let’s just say I was hearing crickets after my comment… LOL.
(Oh, and by the way, they both did have great senses of humor… as I could probably go over a few of the finer laughing points… but I won’t)
Live and learn, my friends. Live and learn.
Again, comments and emails (angeleyes(at)angeleyesdevilsmile.com) are always welcome.
