Category: 
I was reading an interesting post by Captain Jack today about his Magnification Principle… and it’s a slick read.
I’ve never met this guy… but I can say that this principle is true.
Now, he gives an example of his ignore/magnify polarity with explaining most reactions to flaking and how he disagrees with the typical “taught” response to a woman flaking out on you…
My response… I agree wholeheartedly.
Look, if you have to tell someone that it was a big deal… or OVERLY communicate the fact that it was a big deal… then you’ve subtly communicated that you’ve based your life… for that specific moment… on her.
Think about that for a second.
So… to me… this seems a little needy.
Check this out… if a girl truly flakes on you for no reason… why make a big deal out of it? Shit, why worry about giving her a hard time about it. You DO have other things lined up for that time slot… or other things that you could be doing… with other people/women, right?
Here’s the deal. In a nutshell, the more options you have… and the less you are worried about women flaking… the less that they’ll flake.
I also don’t try to get a woman to respect my time by saying things to her… or even by inferring it myself.
I just make sure that I live my life in such a way that she KNOWS… not thinks… but KNOWS that if she treats me in any way other than with respect… that I DO have other things that I CAN be doing… because she can SEE it with her own two eyes.
If you can truly live this way… then women won’t want to flake on you. If they need to reschedule… they’ll WANT to make it up to you in order to do so.
Going back to CJ’s post… he talks about ignoring that which doesn’t serve you… and magnifying that which helps you.
So, in this instance… let’s say a woman DOES flake on me… maybe she just doesn’t show up for coffee or something. Here’s what I would do.
I’d give her a quick call to make sure that she wasn’t in an accident or that something horrible hadn’t happened and leave a message stating that fact. I wouldn’t even mention the fact that she “owes” me or “I hope you have a good explanation”. Also, I’m assuming that I’m going to be leaving a message… because if she truly flakes… she’s probably not going to answer.
(If she does answer, she’ll prob apologize and try to reschedule with you… but, if she says something else… no big deal… you were just trying to meet a new “friend” 
)
I’d say something like, “Hey girl (use her name), I hope everything is okay and that nothing’s happened to you. Give me a call.”
No tyrade. No explanations. All HIGH ROAD.
Blowing up on her at this point isn’t going to help me in the long run… so… I just move on with my day. I always make sure I’ve got a few other things to do, anyway.
The next time I see her, I may make a comment like “So, I see you ARE alive.” And smile. (ignoring)
At this point, she’ll probably apologize with some lame excuse… because she more than likely hasn’t called you…
Me: “Hey, no big deal… if you want to try it again sometime… just give me a ring.” (wink)
Now, there’s no uncomfortable tension… only good tension because now she’s more than likely wondering WHY this is such a NON issue with me. She’s probably wondering if I even really liked her in the first place. If you noticed, I didn’t try to press her for anything at all.
I’m building more intrigue (magnifying)… which I obviously didn’t have enough of before because she flaked.
Remember, if you get upset about a woman flaking on you… its your fault that you put this person up on a pedistal before you even really knew her. Think about that for a second.
I’ll be perfectly honest… I can’t remember the last time someone flaked on me. Seriously. I’m not trying to be funny here. Sure, I’ve had people reschedule with me… but it’s been awhile since I’ve been flaked on.
The biggest difference between now and then:
Now, my image is swirled with importance, intrigue, and adventure… instead of like a common, open book.
I don’t tell them… but through social proof… women know that I have other things that I can be doing. Also, through social proof and through my mannerisms, they also know that they may not get a second shot with me because I have options.
Remember: These things… the importance, the intrigue, and the adventure aren’t openly talked about… they’re just… THERE.
Make these 3 things a part of your AURA… and notice the difference in how people treat you.
