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“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes… just be an illusion.”
- Javan
Pain… loneliness… guilt… unworthiness…
… these are some of the feelings that I had the last time I went through a breakup.
I think we all do.
So, I’m gonna switch gears a little bit today and talk about how to get your ex back.
I have to confess, I’ve made my mistakes in life and Lord knows I’ve put myself in some embarrassing situations in the past… done some things that I wished I hadn’t… said some things that weren’t too cool…
… basically, did things when pursuing an ex that made me FEEL WORSE about myself when they didn’t work out.
The sad thing:
I KNEW THAT THEY WEREN’T GOING TO WORK… but I did them anyway… because I was coming from a desperate and needy place that no man or woman should ever come from when dealing with an ex.
And you can judge me if you want… but I’ve learned some very powerful lessons from these experiences… and I’ve YET to make these mistakes again.
I’m about to give you a roadmap… a checklist of things to do to get your ex back (or figure out that it’s not even worth it).
(As an aside, I just picked up a masterful piece of work called “The Magic Of Making Up” the other day that goes into this process with a fine tooth comb. What I’m going over is just the tip of the iceberg… stuff from my own experiences. If you’re in this position right now, picking this book up will be like getting a new lease on life. Dead serious.)
Let’s face it. Sometimes we break up over petty things.
Sometimes they are a little more serious.
Regardless of the situations, we can generally boil it down to one thing per sex:
1. For men, the problems arise when they don’t feel “admired” by their woman
2. For women, the problems arise when they don’t feel “appreciated” by their man
These are the number one reasons that men and women leave… the root cause on average.
No matter if you cheated, or were cheated on… or whatever… the likely cause of your current distress revolved around one of these two symptoms.
Trust is generally a cop out.
If you set down and honestly think about it… you can see that it’s likely true in your scenario too.
So here we are… alone… distraught… possibly thinking of suicide… fighting off thoughts of that person being with someone else…
… and we want them back.
First things first.
Get out a calendar.
Go buy one if need be.
You need a 30 day “cooling off” period… you really do.
Trust me on this one.
So what you’re gonna do is take that calendar and circle a day 30 days from today… here is the day that you give yourself permission to contact your ex.
This calendar is important. Do not neglect it.
You see, by having this visual goal in front of you… you now have the power of marking off days… while building momentum and getting your ducks in a row… without falling through the cracks of neediness and desperation.
If history has taught me anything… it’s that people need this time to be able to objectively look at things… and to create mystique and curiosity in the other party… IT IS A MISTAKE TO UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THIS!
So what do you do during this time.
It’s simple.
We work on ourselves…
… but NOT for that other person… for US.
You see, for one thing, people that you’ve have been in a relationship with have a certain “pattern” that they’re used to when it comes to you.
Maybe it’s a pattern of being overweight…
… bad hair…
… no ambition…
… you get the picture
We have to break that pattern.
We have a pattern. See this person…bad feelings well up. There may be some good too. Overall though the balance has tipped to the negative. What we need to do is BREAK THE PATTERN.
There are literally dozens of ways to look, smell and even sound different. So that when we contact and meet our ex again he/she does not run the same pattern and “bad linked feelings” as when the relationship failed.
Read that quote again.
Done, okay.
Seriously, the confidence and self worth that arise from bettering yourself keeps you from getting the raw end of the deal when it comes to interacting with your ex later.
So work on yourself.
Oh… and on another note… STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL as much as possible during this time. Studies show that if you try to drink your problems away… you ACTUALLY seed the problems farther into your psyche… and make it much harder to recover.
Do you need a “life check”?
Think about this for a second…
This is the truth: You will not die without your ex. If he was your whole life, then you need to improve your life first. You can find plenty of perfectly good people if you put yourself out there.
I’m actually getting these quotes from “The Magic Of Making Up“… but I would have told you the exact same thing.
You need to have your own life…
Making someone else the king/queen… your everything in life is not healthy… plus… they start to take you for granted.
Okay, now we’re in our 30 day “grace period” where we refrain from talking to the ex… but the FEELINGS of loneliness and despair keep rearing their ugly heads.
What do we do?
We’ll there’s a pretty cool technique that TW goes over in his book called the “Fast Forward Technique“…
I’ve seen it used in other situations and teachings and can say it works wonders.
This is a must learn for those that are having a really tough time of it.
(Are you marking your days off yet?)
I apologize… I just looked at the clock and I’ve got to cut this a little short because I’ve got a teleseminar to do… but let me tell you about some of the things that WORK when trying to get back your ex (post 30 days)
Curiosity and Intrigue
Time Distortion Techniques
Plausible Deniablity
Sleeping with her as soon as possible (men)
Not sleeping with him (women)
The Instant Reconciliation
Emotionally Elevated Experience Bonding
Instant Reconnect Techniques
The Clean Slate Method for apologizing (VERY POWERFUL)
Actually, let me talk about the “apology” for a second… there’s an interesting story that you should read:
An Eddie Bauer store that wrongly accused a black teenager, Alonzo Jackson, of shoplifting a shirt he had purchased the day before had to pony up $85 million in a lawsuit.
His dad said that an apology would have sufficed.
Eddie Bauer did make a weak public apology. But, they never apologized privately to Alonzo or his father.
Sometimes you have to put your ego in check and get vulnerable…
Other things of use to note:
The Monkey’s Fist
Mind Judo
I could go on and on and write a book on my experiences with this. I seriously could.
But I’ve found one that effectively summarizes what I went through… and what you’re likely going through…
… one that provides a roadmap to success in getting back with your ex…
… if it’s in the cards… or not…
… it WASN’T for me…
… and I’m much better because of it.
Will you be?
Or is your ex your soulmate… but the stars and planets just haven’t been aligned.
Go pick up The Magic Of Making Up” and find out.
No matter the outcome… if you follow the plan thats provided… IF… then it’s money well spent.
And you can take that to the bank.
I’m out.
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